SPEAKER_00 0:00

If you had to share with us your biggest transformational moment through the things that you've been through, what would that be?

SPEAKER_01 0:05

It was when I was involved in divination, just doing a ritual, which I thought was helping me be healed, right? To clean out those wounds of the trauma from childhood on up. And I was in the middle of this ritual, and I heard a whisper. And the voice said, You try everything else. Give God a try. Go back to your foundation. And I wanted to know who God was now. It brought me to where I am right now, and it brought me to a place to where I appreciate God even more. So that was the transformation moment for me.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

My guest today is a retired US Army captain, a mother, and a woman who has lived more life than one. Today we talked about her journey from rock bottom to evangelist, from spiritual homelessness to purpose. And the book that is about to help a lot of people find their way home. Welcome, Tira Joseph. We're here today. It's awesome when old friends get together and chat and just have a great conversation about their story. And today I have a friend. We go way back. Like we go way back. How far back do we go, uh Tira?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Uh probably 99.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

99?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

I feel weird to say that since we're in 2026. It feels weird to say 1999.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

But but you know, I think I got to I got to the 82nd, I think it's around 2000. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

So you've been in 2000 because I got there in 99. I wasn't sure if you got there before me or after me.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

I think I might have gotten there because I joined the army August of 1999.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

And so I can't remember how long it took for training to get over with, but I think I got to before back around the 2000s.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Yeah, so then it had to be 2000 again. So man, we've been knowing each other for at least we're talking about 26 years, 25, 26 years or something. Depending on what we're talking about. 2000 to now? Just 26 years, yeah. Yeah, depending on what month you got there, but but I'm telling you, man, that time seemed like it flew by the whole.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

I know. Not not too long ago, I was I felt young in my face.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Right. We were doing crazy stuff like jumping out of airplanes. Jumping out of airplanes for a living.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

For a living. You know it's interesting. I was thinking about this.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

What?

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Because the first time I got on a plane was to leave Jamaica. And I think the second time I got on a plane was to fly to South Carolina. And I think the third time I got on a plane was to jump out of the airplane, probably. I'm thinking right now at Fort Benning.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

You jumped from only being in a plane twice. Well, I think you got me beat because I flew from Texas to South Carolina. That was my first time getting on a plane. Next time I got on the plane was to jump out of one.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Yeah. So two two two steps for you, three steps for me. Wow. Wow. So so the third time I got out of, I got on a plane, I didn't land. It's true. Had to jump up.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

You know what? Now that I think about it, it was two steps, it was three steps for me too, because I flew from South Carolina to Georgia to Port Benagaria. So we had to say well then.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

I feel like I I get caught caught the bus to Georgia, but I'm not sure now.

unknown 3:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

I'm not sure. Now you're making me question, did I catch the bus from South Carolina to Georgia?

SPEAKER_00 3:45

I don't I don't remember. See you see what happened to the past? Oh, we just got behind us that we don't remember?

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Right, right. Either way, we we survived every one of those plane rides, I tell you that much. The ones we landed with the plane and the ones we jumped out of the plane.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Well, today we're here to talk about your journey, and your journey has been a long journey. And uh a roller coaster ride journey. And I would I would love to share with the folks that's gonna listen to our conversation today about your journey. So if you don't mind telling us where you're hailing from right now, and uh what you specialize in, how you're adding value to the world right now in your your current stage of life.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Man, okay, that's a hard question. No, I'm just kidding. I'm in Harker Heights, Texas, right now. So I retired here, Fort Hood, Texas, back in 2020. And so I just stayed here because I love the weather, I love Central Texas, I love just the area, right? And now I'm adding value by really just helping people heal and understand some of the same things that I've gone through in life. And but not only that, I'm also my passion now is working with uh homeless. I love it because you get to help someone like their lives begin to shift in a way that we had no idea before. You know what I'm saying? Like it it really makes a difference just to put a smile on someone's face who may be going through so much. And so now I just do a little bit of all of that. I pray for people, I go around evangelizing, telling people about Jesus, and I provide different things that they need: clothes, shoes, food, toiletries, and you know, things like that, man.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

So where does that philanthropic like spirit came from?

SPEAKER_01 5:36

It it has always been in me. I remember years ago, before I ever got saved, I remember years ago I used to say, before I even retired, man, one day I'm gonna be a philanthropist. One day I'm gonna be a humanitarian, going across the world, just going to help people, heal people in some kind of way, just doing whatever I can to help people. And it's crazy how this is actually unfolded and coming true, you know, without me even striving for it, it's just kind of coming to me. It's it's like I was born for this, and it's just the doors are opening for it, you know, take place.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

The interesting thing about finding a new calling, because I'm a because we're both veterans, so we understand this feeling.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Like you're in a profession and the purpose is so massive, but then you have to walk away from the profession, you're trying to find another purpose that as big as the other purpose. Right. Now, let's talk transition really quick. If you don't mind, if we mind us tapping in the transition from leaving that massive purpose and trying to find this new massive purpose. What was that transition like?

SPEAKER_01 6:43

Okay, so that's the period that was the roughest. Because, as you know, when we get out, we are we are somebody, right? We people relying on us that looking up to us, we're in charge of hundreds of people or even supervising multiple people, even if it doesn't have to be hundreds, right? But it's just the fact of so many people relying on us to be accountable, responsible for such big portions of the mission. And when we retire, boom, all of that just drops. You you become nobody in a sense. You know what I mean? But it just, it's just like you go from hero to zero because people don't call on you. The soldiers' lives are still going on. So you just you're chilling at home and nobody's calling to see how you're doing. So they're just like, oh man, they got it made. She's retired now. I don't need to call and check on her because she's living the life now. But that's the part where I was so lost because that structure, right? That discipline of the concept. We knew what we were gonna wear every day. We knew what we, you know, our routine, we knew our mission. We had everything pretty much planned and organized. And so then you go to this world where there's no structure now. You can do whatever you want. And it's up to you to be disciplined enough to create that new structure, or you're gonna find yourself just kind of uh just all over the place because there is no structure, you know, and that's where I find myself just kind of all over the place and feeling like, well, I'm retired now, so I'm not gonna worry about what I eat. I'm not gonna be focused on my weight because nobody's gonna be taping me or weighing me. I don't have to worry about peeing in a cup because there's no urinalysis. So, you know, like life was just open. So I say, this is the time where I get to finally live without somebody looking over my shoulder, or there being any kind of restrictions. And so that's where a lot of the bad qualities came in with the drugs and all of the things that I got into. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

We're gonna we're gonna get into that. But let's give folks some context. So you you joined the military, so you went you went from private and then you switch over to the officer side, right? Yeah, tell us about that little content journey. What was that process like for you?

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Yeah, so I made E7 in seven years, and I say, man, I only have E8 and E9. So 13 more years, that's it, that's done. So let me cross over and provide more financial status, uh like stability for my children, you know, and just see a different side of the military. And I did the R O T C green the gold option, so I was still getting the same benefits as I did when I was in E7. And I just went to school full-time, which worked out perfectly because my children's dad was constantly going back and forth to Iraq. So I was able to be stable right there instead of playing tag with him, you know, and able to raise the children. So that was really beneficial.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

And you retired as a captain, right? Off the captain.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Yeah, captain. I was promotable, but I turned down the major rank because I knew that that would be three more years minimum. And in those three years, I was guaranteed to leave my babies one more time, at least, right? And potentially have to uproot them from where we live right here in Texas and travel across the world. So I was just like, let me just go ahead and stay here. And it is time, it's time to be mommy, you know. So I was okay with the decision because they would tell us all the time. I'm pretty sure people told you, you'll know when it's time. And I did know when it was time.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

So, my my follow-up question do you think it was worth it to rest and retire and hang it up?

SPEAKER_01 10:40

It was so worth it. It was so worth it. Because, you know, the army, any job really will beat you down. They'll take out of whatever they can. I mean, we're there to train, with with with there to accomplish the mission. So, of course, there's constant requirements, right? But that took me away from motherhood a lot of times. And I definitely feel like it was worth it because my children were becoming teenagers and it they needed me to be there more. See, it was and getting out when I did allowed me to go through that phase of who am I? What am I doing with my life? What am I wanting to, what do I want to do when I grow up? You know, go through that whole phase, and now here we are. Had I stayed in those few years longer, then it just would have delayed my civilian process. So I'm so glad I retired when I did.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Let's fast forward to current current current life. So now you you're writing a book and you're talking about the journey, and you have a lot of things that you want to share from your history. Now, if you were to pick a few things that that's already blossom out of your book that you you're working on right now, um, what the what are the things you want people to know about your journey so far?

SPEAKER_01 11:55

The main thing is for people to know Jesus for themselves. You know? And I understand that that's a controversial topic because not everybody believes in Christianity or believes in Jesus, um, that he is 100% God, 100% human, you know. Not everybody believes that. So it's a little difficult talking to certain people. However, it's nothing too big for us because think about it, the apostles back in the day, they had to break the ground. We don't have to break the ground in this. We're just uh sharing what we already know to be true, and people can see for themselves. So that's the number one thing what I do now is share Jesus with people.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

But in the book Jesus is number one.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Yeah, Jesus is number one.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

What's number two?

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Number two is to know the spiritual aspects of the world and all of the things that we can potentially get involved in that may be demonic and we don't know about. So that's how the book even sparked an interest in the first place, like you know, because people don't know a lot of the stuff out there that's not even of God. We think we're following, but we're not.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

So spirituality, yeah. That's number two. But then when when when people think about your new purpose, because you found it from going through some of the heartaches. You know, I think I was read a quote this morning that says, um, like the ego doesn't feel heart pain, but it feels status pain. Right. So sometimes sometimes when you're when your ego is hit, because sometimes that's what happened when you leave the military, because we were flying out of certain status. Yeah. When a status got hit, then we felt status pain. And status pain puts you into a different place. Not just the heart pain, but the status pain. So when you think about your journey and the thing that you're you're finding purposing right now, which you said Jesus and spirituality, how is that become useful to other people that you've been going you've been encountering? Even the folks that you've been praying for, the homeless folks.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Right. So that ties into the number three thing, which is healing. So not just physical healing, but emotional, right? Mental. Like this is this is healing in all aspects from the inside out now. So that's what I'm sharing with people to heal from the inside out. Because that's the part that needs the most work. It's heart and it's mind, you know what I mean? Because we can break our legs and get healed and get a cast on it, boom, a few months later, a few weeks later, whatever, it's healed, right? But a lot of times we don't think about the psychological healing, the damage that takes place and the healing that needs to take place too. Because we can't see that wound, it's so easy to ignore it, push it aside and dismiss it, right? But we have to pay attention to that because that's what's gonna allow us to make the decisions that we need to make in life. And if those decisions are being made from a broken place, we're gonna keep making broken type decisions, you know? So healing is one of my most important things.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

So if you had if you had to share with us your biggest transformational moment through the things that you've been through, what would that be?

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Without going too much into the book details, transformation moment was let me give a snippet, okay? It was when I was involved in divination, new age practices, um, just doing a a ritual, which I thought was helping me be healed, right? To clean out those wounds of the trauma from childhood on up. And I was in the middle of this ritual, pitch black in my living room, and I heard a whisper. Before this whisper even came, though, let me tell you, I was high on multiple drugs. So I doing a demonic ritual that I thought was healing me, and I heard that whisper. Give God a try. What was that? Okay, I'm tripping. I'm high right now, so I'm tripping. Okay, let me carry on. And the boy said, You tried everything else. Give God a try. Go back to your foundation. If that doesn't work out, you can always come back to this. And in that moment, it made sense. I was like, hmm, I don't know who it was talking to me, right? But it makes sense. So I carried on with the ritual, carried on, I finished it all out, and after that though, something just kept tugging inside of me like I couldn't get rid of that voice, and I wanted to know who God was now. I'm like, man, I was raised as Baptist, and I never really traveled down that journey to of Christianity to really know who God was. You know, I knew of my mom's God and my grandma's God, but I never knew him for myself. So that was the moment right there that that shook everything, and then this hunger developed inside of me, man. I wanted to know who he was. So that was the transformation moment for me.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

The beautiful thing about this, Tara, is that becomes a new origin story because that's the new reminder story that you keep telling yourself now from that moment. I heard the voice and I went to investigate because I want to know for myself. And sometimes a lot of us don't know when that voice is speaking. You can't really hear it because probably outside noise is too loud.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

But I'm curious to know what year was that and where were you psychologically in those in that moment of your life?

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Man, that was just two years ago. Almost two years ago, not even. Um, so that was 2024. Psychologically, I was depressed, full of anxiety, still taking PTSD medicine, anxiety medicine, depression medicine, ADHD medicine, and drugs. So I was trying to try everything to just heal, to just be able to go through life and just face life every single day. So psychologically, man, I was dying on the inside. I really was. But people only see the outside and they're like, oh, she's got it all together. Look at her. She looks, she looks like she got it together, so she does. And they had no idea the the trauma that I was still carrying around, like it was my baby, you know, and I allowed that to make decisions for me, or I used that trauma to make the decisions that I made, which were destructive decisions, of course. But man, I was I was in a bad place and I felt myself spiraling out of control, and I just didn't know how to stop it because this is the life that I had begun to create now, and that was the way of coping. So, how do you take away the thing that you're using to cope without crashing, you know? And that's what I was left with. So, and in addition to the drugs and medicine and everything, I was also into divination. So, we're talking about something as simple as angel numbers, so following all kinds of symbols of the world, believing that the universe is all one, and so we're all connected. Yeah, the universe is something that God created, so it is all connected, but we don't get our source, our power from the universe or the elements of the universe. Those things are created by God, you know. But I began to worship those things instead. So the crystals and the sage, and believing that these things are giving me power. And I'm I was searching everything that I could think of just to find some kind of healing.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

And here we are today.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

And here we are today.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

But I'm telling you, I have no reveal itself.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

I have no I have no regrets because it brought me to where I am right now, and it brought me to a place of where I appreciate God even more. I'm so grateful now of this journey because this is true healing now, not just something that I'm putting a band-aid on by trying all of these different things. This is one person, Jesus, that led me to all of this, you know. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

So so so what what did it cost you to find your truth, to find your truth?

SPEAKER_01 20:28

My ego. It's my ego because you know, you got the house, you got the cars, the money, uh, the life, the children, everything. Uh it it cost me a lot. It cost my second marriage, if I'm being honest, you know, because these even though we were divorced when I started dabbling into all of these things, we got divorced right after I retired in 2020. So the divorce took place in 2021. So that just piled onto even more re of the depression and anxiety, you know. And so it cost my divorce. It cost the children having a mom being there for them that they really needed. Because a lot of times I was so high, even when see while they were at school, that's when I would get high. Because I was trying to hide so much and cope while they were gone. And then when they came back from school, at that point I'm I'm relaxed now. I'm, you know, all of this kind of stuff. And so I hid it from my kids for so long. So it cost my ego, it cost motherhood, some years of motherhood, and the mom that the kids deserve. Um, and so it also cost finances because as I was buying all of these drugs, partying, traveling all over the place, all over the world, that bank account was growing. And so you hit right bottom, and then that's when you start saying, Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let me tell you, Asher, I had I remember this one specifically. It was a sixteen hundred dollar light bill. I had no way of paying this. Now, up until now, I had kept everything on the wraps. Like my kids had no idea about the drugs. They had no idea how we were financially. Like we were, we were broke. And they didn't even know I was going to food banks to get food every week. Like they had no idea. So when this light bill came, and I'm like, I have no idea how I'm gonna pay this because all of the people that I can rely on for money, they don't even have that kind of money. So it was a struggle. At that point, I just felt like I hit rock bottom, and I this was it. At this point, what's next? CPS coming to take my children from me, you know? So it was a wake-up call, but yeah, man. It was it was a lot. There was another wake-up call after that, but I'll I'll let you talk for No, but but but so here's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

We talked about the ego, right? Yeah, when the status gets hit, um the the e the ego pain. Now ego pain is is difficult because you're going from figuring out your life, like knowing what to do, but then you go into a new domain in retirement, and then you have different because the thing that happened to me, I'm gonna tell you a little bit about my story a little bit here. Because when I retired, I had to take like a sabbatical because I never felt anxiety and depression my pretty much my my whole life. I didn't feel it like I felt it when I retired. Yeah. So you feel like you were going so fast and when you stop, your enemies caught up with you. And you're like, how do you get here so fast? And I was like, I don't know what to do with these feelings.

SPEAKER_04 23:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

I didn't know what to do with these feelings. So I was just depressed and down. I was like, I don't I don't where's my like I couldn't figure it out. You know, when I came back home to Connecticut here that I'm at right now, and I was talking to my older sister, and she was like, Lou, bro, we gotta go talk to somebody. You know what I'm saying? But I couldn't see it because I'm in denial. Yeah. Like, yeah. So I can only imagine a lot of other veterans, like when they shift and make when they jump ship, get back on on land, it's like, what do you do with this new this new identity that you can't really put a label on because you don't know what it is yet? It's difficult.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

It is it's very difficult. And a lot of people don't know that. You know? But that's the that's the part right there that you have to either already have something set up for when you get out, right? And I'm not talking necessarily about a job because that's one thing I knew I didn't want. I didn't want to retire just to go get rehired somewhere else and start all over again. No, so it it was more about let me just enjoy me and my children, not go hockey in somewhere else, and that's only gonna postpone. Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? I was so burdened with not knowing what I was put here on this earth for, that I knew that I would want I didn't want to go check into somebody else's job. I knew it like inside of me. I just I couldn't even muster up the energy, even though I could have gotten hired at so many other places. The generals that I was working for offered so many opportunities, they had so many connections, but I knew that that was not the path for me, right? Because I would have just massed everything that I had been dealing with in the army with a new job, and that would have become priority.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

So I'm I'm gonna tie in here with you because I I know the feeling. Yeah, because when I was retired, I was like, bro, you you've made it 20, I did 22 years. It's like there's a part of me that I was I was I was burying and it was just fighting me every day. At least when I get to like three quarters away and I'm like, I gotta find something else, but I don't want to go back in the government system. I gotta figure something else that my creativity can come out.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

My freedom can come out. But even though we understand like too much freedom is not good for you.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

But too much, too much boundaries is not good for you either, right? You need the right kind of you need the right kind of sidewalks, so to speak, right? So you can stay on the road. But um, but I I know I didn't want to get back into government. I wanted to put my creativity to work. But it was very hard to find that thing because I've buried it so long ago, I didn't, I couldn't tell what it was. Yeah, I didn't water it that much while I was in the military because I was just married to the job.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

You know? So it's difficult for folks to like find that new thing that you was built for for, you were made for.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Right. Well, can I say this? You definitely found yours. I definitely believe you found yours. And I'm so grateful though, because you're helping people like me, and you're you're getting things out there in the world that you have a passion for, you know?

SPEAKER_00 26:53

Mm-hmm. That's beautiful. Do you got a title for your book yet? Or are you you're not want to share that yet?

SPEAKER_01 26:59

Yeah, I do. What are you working?

SPEAKER_00 27:00

What is your working title?

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Yeah, my working title is From Ouija board to worshiper.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

Ouija board.

SPEAKER_01 27:09

Yeah, Ouija board, because that's the first thing that I remembered purposely dabbling into that was not of God. So I had to trace it back, say, where did this come from? But that's that's where it stemmed from. I I saw this movie when I was about 16 years old, and it was about witchcraft, right? And you're thinking it's just a movie, no big deal, right? And I saw how much power these girls had in this movie, and at the point I was feeling bullied, feeling insecure, um, had homosexual curiosities. I never went down that road yet back then in high school, but I was curious and I hated myself for having those feelings in the first place. So I just needed something to kind of make me feel powerful and like I was in charge of my own life. And I saw that movie, and so that that was the opening right there. It gave me an idea that hey, I can have this kind of power, I can be somebody if I just do this. And so that's where it began. I got the Ouija board. Um, I asked my dad to get it for me for Christmas one year, and that's what opened the door, though.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

You seem like a very curious person, like I am.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

I am a curious person. No. My quote was it used to be I try anything twice. It's funny, no, but it's it was crazy to think that that's actually what I lived by back then, you know. But yeah, I'm I'm pretty curious.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

You know, but but there's a there's uh also a a good thing, the curiosity, because I mean, I think life is a discovery process where you get to seek things out, learn from your mistakes, find things out, try new things, and then have the experience to come talk about. Like, like for example, I I feel like do cool shit so you can talk about it. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? So so so sometimes you do you do crazy stuff so you can talk about it. But I feel like sometimes life just circles around, finding great things, deliberately do it so you can come back and talk about it, or you can come back and teach it. Yeah, some of those things might not be good.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Yeah, I don't want to teach people the different drugs that I used.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

But but but but you can teach them not to do it. So so so there's the other side to everything, yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Yeah, so I can teach them what not to do now. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

I am I am a certifier, I'm a certified not-to-doer. So, meaning that I can tell you, hey man, I'm I tried it, bro. I'm gonna tell you right now, you're not gonna be the same if you do it. So stay away. Right. But but sometimes we we gotta be the person that comes back and say it because what happened is you do something bad, or you call it bad or wrong, or call it wrong, or it's dangerous, but then you you're ashamed of it, you never tell nobody else about it. Then other people repeat the same thing because I'm curious too. But it's like, yeah, I was curious just like you. I went down that lane. I'm sorry, don't go that do not go down here. Right. Why? Because you might not come back the same way, the same way, right? Mm-hmm. But sometimes people gotta find it, find out for themselves, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:23

And I was one of those people, I had to find out for myself. And I just got everything that I need to, I don't need to go do crack to find out for myself that it's bad, okay? I don't, but the things that I did, Chase, I I wanted to know for myself, and I'm just grateful that God snatched me out of that and I'm still here today in my right mind, man. Because if you understand some of the things that I tried, some of the different drugs, even, it's just crazy to think that some people lose it, like they they go down the road and they can't come back. They they're too far gone, you know. And I believe that the things that we go through in life, they're not for us. They're they're really for us to be able to help other people to cope or deal or heal or whatever it is. But what we go through is not just for us and to sit with that. So, one of the greatest things that I feel like I carry is honesty, like just being truthful when I'm talking to people. So when I'm going around people and they're putting their drugs out and they're putting their blunt out, or you know, one lady she had a crack pipe when I was downtown the other day, and she said, I'm sorry, I don't want to be around you while you're over here trying to pray for people and I'm doing this. So she turned her back. She said, I'm at least respectful enough to do that, you know. But but I said, Listen, I'm not here to judge because let me tell you, I was in a place where I needed somebody to just love me, not judge me, but love me and help me through that. So that's what I love, and I hear a lot of people tell me we appreciate your honesty because you just tell us the raw truth of what you did, where you came from, who you used to be, and we can appreciate that. So that's one of the tactics as when I'm out evangelizing that a lot of people appreciate. Because I'm not going to them like, hey, y'all, I got my life all together, so I'm just trying to help you get yours together. No, it's more like, hey, I can relate to you, you know. One of the things is I ask God, I say, why do I have a pat such a passion for homeless people? I've never experienced this before myself. I've never been homeless, God. And he said you were. You were spiritually homeless. Man, do you know how much crying like when you can hear back from God, we all have that capability to communicate with him. He's not just some big dictator in the sky that's waiting for us to mess up so he can punish us. And that's how I used to look at him, right? But we can have a relationship with him. It's not about just religion and going to church on Sundays and checking the block. It's a relationship. And so when he told me that, man, that hit my heart. It it touched me so much because I was spiritually homeless. I was searching for so long, and now I can show people exactly who helped me out of the situation that they're in.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Let's go back to this one point you make about doing things and coming back with your right mind. Because I I thought about this.

SPEAKER_04 33:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

I was like, the one thing I don't want to lose is my mind. Because you can see how difficult it is to speak to somebody or communicate with somebody when they're mentally off their axis.

SPEAKER_04 33:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

Right? They're mentally out of alignment. It's very hard for you to help them because you gotta speak to their mentality. I can't like I can lock you in a space and protect you and warm you and feed you, but if you're mentally out of alignment, yeah, the relationship is very hard to build.

SPEAKER_04 33:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

And I was like, I'm so grateful that the stuff I've done in my life, I never lost my mind.

SPEAKER_04 33:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

Like something didn't got broken anywhere, I couldn't fix it. And so when you were saying that you were like you went down this lane and you're able to come back with the with your st your current mind, is like my mind was still intact.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

That's something to be really grateful for. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

Yeah, man, it is. And so you can tell yourself, like, and I'm grateful that you didn't go down a path to where you couldn't really back in, and your mind is still letting them. You have a beautiful mind and you help other people, you know. So need you.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

Yeah, and even what veterans' buddies battles because a lot of them snap, right? Like something, something like snap for some of them, and then it's very hard to communicate when they're they're in a place where the alignment is so off. Like, I'm trying to align with you, but you it's like it's like trying to align with a moving target. Yeah. And you're trying to align, it's like very difficult because they keep moving, they don't have a real access or anchor for themselves because you're like they're lost, right? When you're lost and you you're just not really centered, it's very hard for somebody to align with you.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_00 34:54

And I see that all the time. I'm like, man, I'm trying to talk to this person, but yeah, so they're not anchored anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

When you got out, did you start going to therapy eventually?

SPEAKER_00 35:05

Yes, I saw well, I so we we did the evaluation when I was getting out. And I had a male therapist, and for some reason we just didn't click. I'm like, I do not want to talk to this guy. Because for some reason I wasn't open up. So I was like, next time I asked for a therapist, I need to be a female. So when I moved here, because in Colorado Spring, there was like too many veterans in that location. So they felt like everything was backlogged. But I moved to Connecticut and it was less veterans here, so this facility has more room. So I was like, oh finally. So like I'm in a good place. So I start, I asked to see a therapist, and then they they gave me another guy. I'm like, nah, I don't want a guy. I can give me a lady. Yeah, so I found this nice lady. Um we talk like every two weeks, and she's very smart and just stuck a little white yoda yoda, right? It's like a yoda. We just had a conversation, but she wasn't very helpful to me, and it just helped me kind of look at the things that I was struggling with. One of the biggest things I struggled with was I just never felt worthy of my daughter because I wasn't there, you know, and I was trying to figure out a language for it, and you're just bothering me like in the worst way, you know. But then she kind of talked to me through the process, and I'm looking at life a little bit differently because some of the things that you do in your past, you're trying to figure out how to make sense of it or to come back, come to terms with it. But but having somebody to talk to about those things give you a different perspective because my I'm just seeing one side of the coin, and she's like, look at this other side of the coin, actually. Because they both exist. And that process helped me to see myself differently, and that was very helpful for me personally.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Yeah. Now that's good. I'm glad you did get the therapy though, because a lot of times we don't get the therapy, and a lot of soldiers, specifically even more like male soldiers, they feel like I'm not talking, I don't want people all in my business, man. That's just some total stranger knowing about my business. But that's when pride creeps in and pride says that you don't need help, but we really do. And even if they sometimes it could be just them listening. You can vent to a frog and just getting it out, just getting it out, you know. And so I would tell anybody, continue to search for the right one because I tried multiple therapists. The first one was it was uh a white male, and I was like, nah, it ain't gonna work. Then the next one was a black female because I thought maybe she'd be able to relate to me more. That didn't work, and then I moved to a white female, and that's when it, and then another one was a white female, and so those two, and it's not so that told me right there, it's not about the sex, it's not about the race necessarily, it's about whoever you connect with, you know. And so you find the right one and look, continue to look for them until you find that right one, and it's gonna make so much more of an impact than you're trying to figure this stuff out all on your own. Because if we could figure it out on our own, we would have done it already. So sometimes we do need a sound voice to help us along the way.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

And so no, so now you're writing about all of that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Yeah, about all of it, man. All of it. It's a lot, it's a lot, but I'm so excited because I know how many people that it's about to help, you know. And a lot of times we don't even realize how many people are actually connected to us getting in position, whatever that looks like. Whatever, and so you getting in position allowed me to come out and finally say, okay, I have dragged this on long enough. This has been since 2024 that I started writing this book, and it it was just the passion died off after a couple of months, and until you reached out to me and and we connected, you know, I would watch your posts and everything, and I say, one day, one day I'm gonna reach out to him. And I never did. You know, the passion was gone, but then when you reached out to me, it was like a it was like a spark, and I was like, oh, I felt it again, you know. So just you just never know how many people are connected to you being in position.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

So my last point here before we before we wrap up, this has been a great chat, is is um you mentioned peep people being in position, and I think about um a lot of people that are looking at us to succeed at something, yeah, for them to succeed.

SPEAKER_04 39:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Because their their belief in us, right, uh cause them to believe in something else about themselves. So I I I I didn't I never let that I never forget that because I even the military, you notice like some people go for a certain position because of that person before them. Like I remember one time I was in the military, I think I was in Korea at the time, and I was telling myself, I was like, Asher man, I I miss the days when I have my when I could see my song first class or mass on, it was like great leaders. Like, where are those leaders, man? I miss I miss them. But then a voice in my head was like, bro, it's your turn to be them. It's your turn to step up and be those people that you used to admire in that position. It's your turn. So I was like, oh man, that's so right. So now I'm hearing the voice in my head telling me, it's your turn to step up and be those great leaders that I used to look up to.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

You're in those you're in their position now.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

So you gotta be you gotta be you gotta be better than them or be like them. One of the two. Right. Oh, yeah. So it's important. Positions are important for people that are watching us moving ahead or you know, taking on our passions, like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

Yeah, because people are watching. So, I mean, you know, honestly, since I've started this, then a lot of people they watch my posts, but they don't really reach out yet because just like I didn't reach out to you immediately or because they just weren't ready. And then there are some people that watch long enough and then they say, Hey, this is what I'm facing. And I see you post about this stuff so honest. Like, how do how do I start? Where do I start? I want to get help. And so I've led two people to go into rehab so far. And you know, just different things like that, man. And it's impactful, you know.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

You've been a sister for a long time, my friend. And it's good to see you smiling again, man. Because you were funny, you were a funny person, too, but I don't even remember how funny you were back in the day. You was you had you had really good, you had a really good humor back in the day. I remember way back when we before Bragg run around. Uh man, you just got good jokes too, man. So I don't know if you remember remember that part of yourself, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

Well, thank you. I'm so glad we reconnected, and I thank you for everything that you do, man. Everything.

SPEAKER_00 41:38

Yeah. So if somebody wants to connect to your new world, like the the the you you find the people you want to be a hero to, you know what you specialize in, know you all you add in value to where someone would connect with you, how do they do that? That's the best way.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

The best way is on Facebook. So um, they can just look me up under my name, Tierra Paigley Joseph, or they can do the facebook.com slash tier tj. Another way is Tierra Paley Joseph on Instagram or the Instagram slash Tierra Joseph. And they can also find me on TikTok under Tierra Joseph. So I got a few ways they can connect. And definitely look out for the book because that'll be coming out. That working name is in progress, but we're talking about people that have or know others that have gone through divorce, the loss of a child, drug addiction, sex addiction, homosexuality, depression, anxiety, PTSD. Like it I know it's like, well, how many more things are you gonna name?

SPEAKER_00 42:40

But that's just I'm grateful because it's so seven course meal.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

Yeah, it shows where I came from, not where Jesus brought me from.

SPEAKER_00 42:48

Yeah. So to wrap up, what what would you see your biggest takeaway from this conversation?

SPEAKER_01 42:54

My biggest takeaway is to get the help that you need and to heal. Most importantly, it's finding Jesus for yourself. That's the main thing.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

I wrote down Jesus, spirituality, and healing, emotions, and uh mind, a sound mind. I felt like those are like things that could that could feed you in different ways that you probably don't imagine when you find your spiritual groundness and you keep a mental sane mind. And then you take that and go connect with other people and trying to be a not say be a hero for them, right? But really show them they can be a hero in their own life if they figure out the things that they're passionate about. So yeah, my biggest takeaway.

SPEAKER_03 43:38

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

All right, well, good chatting with you, my friend, and I will we'll we will um connect another time. We we're gonna bring it back so we can have more of this conversation here.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

Hey, I look forward to it. Thank you so much for having me.