SPEAKER_03 0:00

I was in a very toxic relationship where the person that I was with basically muted me in a way that made me feel like sharing myself and expressing myself and sharing just who I am and where I came from was not allowed. And that I needed to be very private and very quiet and that, you know, I shouldn't speak up about certain things because I needed to be more to myself. And so what has also been a really healing journey for me when relaunching this podcast is it's my way to get my voice back and really prove to myself that that is not who I am to stay quiet and to just keep everything to myself and hide things out of like shame or because someone doesn't want me to share my side of things, but more so to have the courage to really get back to being raw authentic and sharing my voice and sharing my truth, regardless of what other people think or how you know other people will perceive that.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Today's guest is Tiana Reitnore, a coach, a speaker, and the founder of Rawthentic. Tiana built a coaching business helping driven women step into their power. She was good at it. She helped other women find their voice, find their courage, and go after what they wanted. During that same season, Tiana was in a relationship that was doing the opposite. The person she was with expected silence. Sharing herself brought criticism. Talking about her past brought conflict. This woman learned to keep quiet, to keep the peace. A woman who helped others find their voice had lost her own. She was engaged. She was about to be married, and she knew in her gut it was wrong. Tiana walked away. In her own words, it was the most courageous thing she had done in a long time. She relaunched her podcast with one rule: show up and share raw, unscripted reader. Not as a business move, as a way to get her voice back. Tiana joined Toastmasters, started preparing speeches, and secured her first national conference speaking engagement for 2026. Today Tiana is rebellion in the open, piano lessons, dance lessons, a community that showed up for her before she gave them anything. And a podcast called Raw Authentic that reminds her of why she started. Today we are talking about the authenticity, consistent tension, when to be raw, when to be steady, and how to do both without losing yourself. Welcome Tiana Rightnorr to the Memo Symanis Podcast. Today I have the founder of Raw Authentic here with me, Tiana Rightnorr. Tiana, before we get into this conversation, I have to tell you something. Uh when I first saw the the the name Raw Tentip. See, in Jamaica, we don't pronounce a T and just put a T. Raw Authentic, I say raw authentic, raw authentic, raw authentic. Right? You took two words and you fuse them into one. There's an actual word for that. It is called Portmanteau. Like brunch is breakfast and lunch. Like smog is smoke and fog. You made raw authentic, raw plus authentic. That is your portmanteau. And it got me thinking about my own. Years ago I created the word uniqual. It's it's equal plus no, it's unique plus equal. Because we are all equal spiritually, but we are unique physically. That was my thought. And you just gave me that same feeling. So now we are two people who make up words. This is how this conversation is starting. So welcome to Members of Minute's podcast. Here is what we are going to talk about today. The theme is authenticity, consistency tension. When to be raw, when to be steady, and how to do both without losing yourself. In business, you need consistency. If you made a promise, you keep it. If you said you would show up, you show up. If you said the work would be ready on Tuesday, it is ready on Tuesday. This is what people pay for. This is what builds trust. In personal life and a relationship, you need authenticity. The people closest to you can tell when you are performing. They might not say it, but they can feel it. The longer you perform, the more distant it creates. Most people apply the wrong one to the wrong place. In business, they follow their feelings instead of their commitment. They change direction when it gets hard. They disappear when the work gets boring. In relationships, they do the opposite. They show up the same way each time, but it is a rehearsed version of themselves. The people around them get the performance, not the person. Raw authentic might be your word for the integration. Raw plus consistent expression. We are going to test that in this conversation. So here's my question, my opening question for you, Tiana, and for and this is for you if you are listening to us right now. Where in your life do you need more consistency and where do you need more authenticity? All right. Let's get the formalism out of the way. I'm happy to have you on this podcast to chat. What pops to mind when I when you hear that question?

SPEAKER_03 5:22

Yes, well, thank thank you. First of all, thanks for having me on. I'm super happy to have this conversation with you. It's something I'm very passionate about. So your question is where where do you need to be more consistent and where do you need to be more authentic? So I think it's funny. It it kind of for me, it bridges together. I think I need to be more consistent with being authentic. And the reason I say that and why I named my podcast Raw Authentic is to remind myself why I started the podcast. So fast forward back to 2021, I had a coaching business and I coached women uh mindset coaching and basically just helped driven ambitious women step into their power and remove any beliefs or fears or blocks that were stopping them from really going after what they desired. And my intention for initially starting the podcast was no filter, no BS, no editing, just raw conversation. Don't worry about filler words, don't worry about run-on sentences, just show up and share. Because I feel that when we share our stories and we are real and authentic, that is what really connects with people, not the scripting, not the formatting. And when I started it back in 2021, it was my first time. And I was really just trying to be perfect. I'm very hard on myself. I'm a high achiever. And I was like, okay, well, it's authentic. Yes, I'm real, but there has to be structure. I have to plan this out. It has to be organized because that's just the person that I am naturally. And I really had to take a step back after relaunching it with the entire intention of why I started the podcast in the first place, and is to just be authentic and not worry so much about putting on the performance, having it super planned out and super organized. Yes, I have a topic, an idea of what I want to talk about, but I want to just let it flow from the heart because I really feel that that's when you really connect with other people and they know it's not a performance. And so I believe that I need more consistency with just showing up authentically in that way. And it's it's been a it's been a um a work in progress. And I'm proud of where I've come when I launched the podcast back in March, relaunched it. I said I'm not gonna do weekly episode releases if I feel like I want to and I feel like, you know, what I want to say is coming through me and I'm inspired to record, I'll do it. But I'm not doing it as a structure of every single week. And I started doing it, you know, every week in the beginning because I was feeling inspired and I haven't recorded an episode in a month and a half. And my brain is like, you need to be recording, you need to be performing. Like you need, and then I said, hold on, that's not being authentic. I've got a lot of things going on right now. And when I kind of take every everything that I have going on and my experiences, and I really take time to just like ground into those and pull out the wisdom, that's when I go and record because then all of a sudden all those lessons are coming to me in an authentic time, not in a performative, scheduled I need to put out an episode time. So that's my very long-winded answer of what I can be consistent with.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

No, that that is that is a beautiful answer. I I've never thought about it that way. Consistency, I have some consistency with your authenticity. But but let's let's let's pull the string here a little bit because um when when when you're opening, we talk about being consistent, because we gotta understand where do they show up. Right? Because I think uh I hear in business a lot of people like you need to be more authentic. And that makes sense. But not in business for me personally. Because in business, somebody expecting you to show up, like if I if I'm gonna see a a singer perform and that day that singer might feel like um brokenhearted or whatever she feels or he feels, but I pay a ticket to go see them, their best performance. They gotta show up to their best performance. If not, I won't trust to come. I'm not coming to your show next time if I was up like you're gonna show up on stage crying and doing all these things and that so sometimes we forget the difference between the two. Now, in the relationship place, well, that's when you need to be a lot more authentic because people expect to a human being to be there all the time, like show up so I can see you who you really are. I don't need you to perform here, I need you to show up and be you. So sometimes I think we forget that piece, but now your spin on it is very is very powerful by that, it's very powerful.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Yeah, and and I agree with that. You know, when I make a commitment and I say I'm gonna show up, like I'm gonna show up. And like today, I woke up sick and I'm like, hey, can we reschedule? Didn't hear back? I'm like, that's fine. I'm still gonna show up because I made a commitment. So when it does come to your commitment in business, yes, it is important to show up and we're not always gonna feel great. We're not always gonna want to do the thing, but it is important that we stay true to our word and do what we say we're gonna do. And like you said, in relationships, you know, being more authentic, allowing people to see you and not putting on the performance is important as well. I think where it gets, I wouldn't say muddied. Um, not that I I'm not doing coaching anymore, um, but when I was working with clients, I had many times that I was not feeling great that I had to show up for my clients, right? However, when I have projects within the business and and things that I want to do, like the podcast, that gives me more flexibility because I I'm treating this podcast as a way for me to share my voice and to connect with others, not in a way that it's like a business where it has to be something. So it's more so I give myself flexibility to show up my best when I want to record and put those episodes out. I want to give people something that when they listen, they're like, wow, not just I'm just putting it out just to pump out content because that's what like the success formula is. Because for me, my intention this go around for the podcast is more of a creative expression than a business venture. And maybe it will turn into something like that in the future. But right now, it was my first step of getting my voice back out there after being pretty silenced for a couple of years.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Why were you silent?

SPEAKER_03 11:38

So without getting into too much of the details, um, I was in a very toxic relationship where the person that I was with basically muted me in a way that made me feel like sharing myself and expressing myself and sharing just who I am and where I came from was not allowed. Um, and that I needed to be very private and very quiet, and that, you know, I shouldn't speak up about certain things because I needed to be more to myself. And so what has also been a really healing journey for me when relaunching this podcast is it's my way to get my voice back and and really prove to myself that that is not who I am to stay quiet and to just keep everything to myself and hide things out of like shame or because someone doesn't want me to share my side of things, but more so to have the courage to really get back to being authentic and sharing my voice and sharing my truth regardless of what other people think or how you know other people will perceive that.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Well, thank you for sharing that. I think I think other people will find that that valuable. Because a lot of times, I mean, I think your voice, having not having a voice is like one of the most powerful things. And most people don't don't see the value until they don't have it. I can speak and I'm not free to speak, and that shifts a lot of things inside of you when you don't have a voice. So you you mentioned courage, and I like that word because I think that word is such a powerful word. When you think about courage and the thing you've been through in your life, you can think of think about the first time I experienced maybe a failure, fear, or something that that you had to show a lot of courage in, what would that wash over for you right now?

SPEAKER_03 13:22

An experience where I had to show a lot of courage. I think the experience was ending the relationship that I was in, having the courage to do that. I felt very like trapped and felt very um, yeah, just boxed in. And in a lot of ways at that time, I I thought it was a it was a fantastic relationship and had so many qualities that I was looking for. I was engaged, we were to be married. And it was really just knowing in my gut that I needed to let that go. But I was so scared for so long of what my life would look like if I let that relationship go. And the courage to walk away from that was me saying yes to myself, and then also the courage to start the podcast and and do all of the things that I've wanted to do. It's it's just so interesting how I I've never been the type of person that has ever, like I'm very alpha personality. I don't, I don't let people like control or tell me what to do. Like I'm gonna, I'm a free spirit, I'm gonna do what I want to do regardless. And this was the first time in my life that I really uh didn't feel like myself. And I had always had a dream of being on stage and speaking and um empowering others and being this big, you know, figure that could really help really change a lot of people's lives. And being in the relationship, I then threw away essentially all of those dreams because I felt that if I were to go do that, that he would not approve. And for whatever reason, I, you know, wanted that approval more than I wanted to be authentic. So having the courage to walk away from that and start over and start to relearn how to say and know that say what I want to say and know that it's okay. Know that I'm not gonna be shamed or criticized or that I'm doing anything wrong or bad by speaking my truth has been like probably the most courageous things that I've done in a long time.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

I am glad you're enjoying the podcast. Before we continue, I have a gift for you. Since 2016, I have read and listened to over 900 books so far. It's gonna be a thousand. And I organized them into a library and I handpicked the top 100 books I recommend to my clients, my friends, and the people in my community. Books on storytelling, language, and personal growth, and building something from your own life. If you're watching this podcast and you're looking for your next great read, this library is your gift. It is free. Go to AsherAlbertWright.com and check out the One Thousand Book Challenge. This is my gift to you. Now back to the conversation. Where do you get the stories from? If not from some of those things that don't go right. Like this is this is something that I I embrace, and it happens after you do the hindsight 2020 vision things. It's like when you look back at your life, you're like, where do I get most of my stories from? They're from the thing that that didn't mean my intention. My expectation. Like, man, I mean, those are some of the great ones to tell. Like, I had all this expectation, but it fall short. And and we speak about unhappiness more than we speak about happiness. Because oftentimes people there are you know, people love that drama. So and drama is in the happy birthday on yourself, right? So happiness doesn't have that much drama to it, but the unhappiness do, and people love drama. So I'm like, if I want if I want to be a storyteller, then off oftentimes life's gonna put me in places where like you're gonna collect some stuff, Asher, and when you go back, are you gonna share them? And the thing about the thing that happens to a lot of us is that we get we are shame, we we feel guilty, so we don't share those things that are so rich and powerful because they're not the happy version, they're the unhappy version. But those are the the best ones. If you know if you're artists, you know what you can do with somehow unhappiness. And I feel like you're an artist. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_03 17:13

I appreciate that. I I do as well. And it's it's interesting, like the timing of this, because I do have stories to tell. And you know, if you go back five, six years ago when I first launched my coaching business, I had zero fear and doubt or hesitation of sharing my story, and it's only up until recently with that experience in that relationship, and also knowing that like I am on track to kind of be more visible, that is kind of pretty scary to me. That I'm like, oh shit, okay. Well, it's gonna be out there. And, you know, I I I am a firm believer though, even though it's scary that, you know, when you speak your truth, not only is it healing for you, but it changes people's lives and it helps them relate to you. It helps them understand a situation that they might be in and how, you know, you can help them and that they're not alone. And that's always been a big driving factor for me is like I want people to know that they are not alone and what they're experiencing because I felt that way growing up. Like I really struggled in childhood, um, young adulthood with, you know, anxiety and just mental health problems in general that I don't really experience that much today. But during that time, I felt like I am going crazy, like I'm the only one feeling this way. And as I started to share and connect with people and hear their stories, I'm like, oh, okay, so this is not unlike this is normal in a way. Like it's it's more common than I kind of realized. And so it's important for me to have that courage to share my stories if it helps just one person. Um, and even if that person's me, by sharing it, you know, the more you talk about it, the more you heal. But one person outside of me, like, then I feel like I I did my job. So I think that artistry is definitely taking your stories, all of the good, all the bad, all the mess, and throwing it out of canvas and seeing what you get.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

And we all know that suffering is a dominating force in the world. Like we all are we all experience suffering. Most of us do. And we all experience pain. And if we really see the beauty of it, because I was talking to, I forget what was one of my friends who was telling me about somebody that didn't have I guess they was kind of numb, they didn't have any any sensory, like they they was they couldn't feel. I mean that you could stick it, you could stick them with something and they wanna the nervous system wasn't working for feeling. And you had a lot of breaking their bones, but they wasn't be able to feel. I was like, man, how much do we complain about pain? But without pain, we wouldn't know. Like pain is the most obvious form of consciousness. So if I don't feel the thing, then I can break my leg, don't you know if I break my leg, right? Break a finger, don't you don't even break a finger. So then we realize that pain and suffering is important. The level of it might you might want to level the volume, but it's so important because without it, like you could walk and break a lot of things, don't even know it. If it wasn't for pain, people are cut their nose off, cut their ear off. But because pain says if you cut it, you're not gonna look right. But just imagine if it wasn't for pain. What would people do?

SPEAKER_03 20:12

No, totally. I I mean that's that polarity, like you can't have one without the other. And and if we don't experience pain, and also the lessons and the wisdom and the learnings that we get from that, then for me, it's we need that because I will never ever regret the mistakes that I made or the pain I went through or ever wish that it didn't happen. Because every single time I look back hindsight 2020, that if that didn't happen, I wouldn't be where I am today. And I can think of dozens and dozens of scenarios and moments where that has been the case for me, where if I didn't experience that, then I wouldn't know. It's like you don't know what you want until you know what you don't want. So you have to have a lot of failures until you can have your successes and know what works for you.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

No, that that is such a that's such a wisdom, right there. You don't know what you want till you know what you don't want.

SPEAKER_02 21:06

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

And you know, and here's even more simpler because if you ever ask somebody to make a decision and it took forever. Like I'm not a fan of indecisive people. Because it's simple. I like this, I don't like this. I like this, I don't like this. I like this, I don't like this, right? You give me a bunch of things, I'm gonna sort them out real fast. This I like, this I don't like. But then the folks that are like stuck in the maybes don't like oh man, I'm not sure. Like, no, you like it or you don't like it. And that's it, that's very simple.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Yeah, yeah, I'm the same exact way.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

All right, I have a few I have a few maxims here or some thoughts I want to put, I want to throw at you. I want to see how you respond, what comes to mind for you, so forth and so on. So I'm gonna read them off and you tell me what peaks at you when you hear them.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

So this one says separate the process of creating from improving. You cannot write and edit at the same time. The editor stops the creator. Why you invent? Do not. Select why you sketch do not inspect. And this one comes from like the idea of like when you speak what you say, do you do you do you say it exactly like it is, or do you find a way to edit it for the person that's receiving it? So what comes to mind when you think about that?

SPEAKER_03 22:16

I love this question. And I actually had this conversation yesterday. So back in the day, I was the person who, and I'm talking teenage to let's say, let's say like 15 to 25 time frame. Um I'll be 36 next month, right? And I was always told by my mom, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. And I would always come off in a very like, I guess, abrasive, aggressive way to people. And people would take me as like very strong because I just didn't get an give an F. I was just say whatever I meant, say whatever I felt, didn't care. And, you know, and then it came from that to like, I realized that it kind of rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. I wasn't having like good relationships, I was having a lot of conflict in my life. So then I switched from that to really tiptoeing around everything that I said, making sure I could like really, if I say it this way, maybe they won't think that I'm like bitchy or like abrasive or aggressive or whatever. And then um I did that for a while. And then I was just like this super nice like person that just put up with a bunch of BS and then kind of got walked all over. So I've had both ends of the spectrum. Where I'm at now is I say, I take a moment to slow down to think about what I'm gonna say. And I just speak slower and with more intention. I want to make sure that what I'm saying ideally comes across the way that I intend it to. And I think my life is a constant um process of improving my communication, how I say things, what words I use, what tone I use. And obviously with the job that I'm in, is I've also had to be very intentional with that. And it's worked in my favor because it's helped improve the way that I communicate. But I would say now I don't filter what I say for someone else's comfort, but I also am not really hard. I'm in the middle of like, okay, let me think with intention before I speak and be very mindful of the other person, but still say what I need to say, but also have empathy and um just be conscious of someone else as a human being in front of me and what that might feel like if I was on the other end receiving this type of communication, basically.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Yeah, one of the one another principle kind of like this is state the fact, tell the truth. And oftentimes when you do that, it's very hard to go wrong. But we go back to empathy, and empathy requires editing, by the way. So so wisdom, so you have you've you've you've experienced both swing of the pendulum, so to speak. It's like, well, okay, now I gotta figure out because people are people and we are human, then how do I how do I use the empathy editor when I speak? Because if you want the person to receive what you're saying on the other side, then you gotta figure out how do I transfer this information from me to them. I think I heard it saying there was like uh the guy that was building a, they had a castle, we're gonna say the castle was in Europe, and they wanted to transfer the castle from Europe to America. So now the person figured out I will number all the stones of the castle. So when I take it apart and I rebuild it in America, I have the the sequence properly so I can rebuild it. I thought about information the same way. If I wanted an idea in my head to get to you the way it is, I gotta label the idea, number it, sequence it, and then so when I say it to you, you can rebuild it back in your mind, like I said it. That requires skill. And I it took me a while to get it. I'm like, ah, if my goal is for you to receive what I'm saying, for you to build that noob, that castle in my head in your head, then how do I sequence it the right way?

SPEAKER_03 25:55

Oh, it's a skill for sure. That's like I think the Tony Robbins quote is, you know, the quality of your life is the quality of your communication. And the person that's most flexible in their communication wins because, you know, I I took NLP, I don't know if you're familiar with it, it's neurolinguistic programming and it's basically the study of language. And I can see a car accident and see one thing, and you can see something totally different. And when we describe it to someone, a third person, they can perceive it totally different than both of us did. And I think that's just normal. But how you communicate it is such a skill to be able to communicate what you felt, felt, and saw and have the other person perceive it. But then there's another layer of it is they're seeing the world from their lens. So a concept in NLP is, you know, we take in like 65 million bits of information, but our brain is only able to pick up about like 113. Those numbers are a little bit off, but basically that's 113 versus a couple million. And it's goes through our lens and our filter and our experiences. So I might say a sentence and it might not phase you, but then I say it to someone else and it really phases them because of their own personal experiences. So that also that within how you say it, those are so many layers of how someone perceives what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Yeah, the empathy, the empathy, empathy. I have challenged in saying th word, by the way. You're gonna notice with when I speak up. Like I was I was trying to say the whole word, the like math, this complete spelling, I was like struggling. But um, but yeah, um, but it is interesting how we find out how we are good at communication because of how other people receive it. So I have another one for you, and this one says, do not focus on getting into shape, focus on becoming the kind of person who misses no workouts. I'm curious what what pops do you hear when you hear that statement? What story comes to mind for you?

SPEAKER_03 27:48

Yeah, so good. This takes me back to the days that I started doing personal growth work and manifestation work and building my coaching business. And one of my first coaches, actually, my first business coach, said to me, When you think of your future self, what does she do? What does she think? What does she believe? What are her habits? What are her routines? You want this life. Well, what is that version of you who lives that life? Start living her now. And so when I think about that, it's it's not just the workouts, it's the identity of someone who prioritized that as a lifestyle. So I had to really think, okay, well, if I'm this person that wants to not work a nine to five, because that's the place I was in, and I want to be a business owner and I want to wake up and I want to take my time in the morning and journal and take a bath and whatever, what do I need to do now? Okay, I need to get up earlier so I can do that now. And then I go to my nine to five job. And I kept doing that in a routine. Like I kept basically doing the habits that my future self would have been doing when I left my nine to five job. I started saying out loud every single day what I believe to be true, even in the moment if I didn't believe that to be true, over and over and over until I basically brainwashed myself. And then it was like, oh, okay, I actually do feel different. Like this does feel like things are shifting for me. And I also think when it comes to that example specifically with the gym, because I was a person that would like go and work out and then not and binge eat and do-da-do-do-do back and forth for years, like the yo-yo dieting, right? And after a while, it was my core values changed because when the pain got so real that I I was basically done with my own bullshit, that's when I made the change into like gym and healthy living as a lifestyle, is who I am as a person. But it wasn't until that pain became so real that health became a top value and priority of mine that I then decided, okay, this is like something that I cannot negotiate on. And I think that that comes with a lot of self-awareness of what are the habits and and things that you want to do that and how do they make you feel? And how do they make you feel when you're not doing them? Because for me, specifically for that, it was if I don't go to the gym, my mental health is not well. If I eat crappy, I'm exhausted and I have like allergies or I get sick or have no energies. So, like basically be taking a step back and really taking inventory, I think, in addition to everything else that I mentioned, like those are all important things to do if you want to actually have that be part of who you are versus just wanting to lose the weight.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

No, it kind of ties into this one statement I heard. So it says practice the habits of where you're going, not where you're coming from. Because and you know, it's like it's like you don't, you know, wait, you know, wait to practice being wealthy. You you practice being wealthy now and it makes you wealthy, right? It's like the same thing is like you gotta become it, you gotta do it before you become it, not when you become it doing it, because you're not gonna get there if you don't start doing it now. It's important.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

Well, exactly. It's it's the law of attraction. Like you're not gonna, you're not gonna attract like something on that same frequency if you're down here and you're at scarcity mindset and you're not taking care of yourself and you're eating fast food and yet you want abundance and like a partner that works out and all this money coming in, like you're not a match to that. So I always used to say you attract what you are, not what you want. So become what you want, and then you'll attract that.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

It's it's it's very simple. You ever heard of the concept of question and answer? I can give you an answer you don't have a question for, neither can I give you a question you don't have an answer for. So so so if I give you a an answer for a question you don't have, the the answer has nowhere to go. Because you attract anything, so you have to be the container for the thing that's coming. And oftentimes we don't we don't notice that it's like I want this well, are you the thing that's gonna deposit into it? Are you the container for it?

SPEAKER_03 31:54

Yeah. Well, are you are you at the level of person that can hold that? You know, like what why do you why do you deserve to have that? Like you're not showing that you're ready for that. You know, someone who wants to be super in shape and has a partner that is really aligned with them and has a successful business, but someone who has habits that are not in alignment with that, if you had that, one, you probably wouldn't even see it if it slapped you in the face, and two, you wouldn't be able to hold that container because you're not you haven't become the person that can actually hold that.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

I got more. Let me see what is what's next on my list here. Okay, this one says to be interesting, just tell your own story with uncommon honesty. And I know raw authentic is your thing, but I want to see how it aligns with uncommon, uncommon honesty, or what comes to mind for you, story.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

With uncommon honesty, yeah, aside from just being like myself, I think being interested in other people also makes you interesting because you get to know who they are. And when you create interest in other people and allow them to open up and share with you, and you create a container of safety where someone feels safe to open up to you, then it's like they're more open to not only be interested in you, but to receive whatever you're willing to give them in terms of uncommon honesty. And so I find that I have ability to connect with people deeply because I really see people for who they are and create a space of acceptance and non-judgment and vulnerability. And I really live and breathe authenticity within myself and within others. So I think that allowing that person to feel that safety to then have that conversation. When you build that, when you build that trust and safety, that's when the more honest conversations can happen. Because I've I've had moments where I've talked to someone for 30 minutes and, you know, we didn't know each other at all 30 minutes ago, but then we had such an in-depth conversation where that trust was built. And it's like, hey, can I, can I be really honest with you about what I'm seeing? And they're more open to receive that versus me just like passing off my my judgment without actually giving them a moment to get to know who they are and giving them a moment to feel safe with me to receive that. Because if people don't know you and don't trust you, they're not really gonna take your honesty too well. That's usually will come with like some defensiveness and uh yeah, just not great in my experience.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Follow-up question then when can you can you remember a time where you felt the most unsafe in your life? Like, do you have that thought it was popped in here?

SPEAKER_03 34:33

Unsafe in my life?

SPEAKER_01 34:35

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

A lot of moments. Uh the most recent, the relationship that I was in, I felt very unsafe because I felt like I had to tiptoe and hide every part of myself for acceptance and love from this person. And I couldn't joke, I couldn't have my sense of humor, I couldn't talk about my past, I couldn't talk about the experiences that made me me. I yeah, I really just had to really talk about like thinking and editing yourself. I had to like off of really silly things that I thought were just funny, I was like then criticized for it. And I just I yeah, I felt very unsafe to just be me.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

This is interesting. Safety for you please like being able to share you being able to open up about you, being able to present you to the world. That's a form of safety for you versus unsafe is like I can't be able to share myself. This is interesting. What else makes you feel safe?

SPEAKER_03 35:37

What else makes me feel safe? Um, in terms of like being myself or just in general safety. Whatever's whatever whatever's gonna impact somebody that's that's thinking to the lens of when you're saying that being able to share who you are, being able to be you makes you feel more safe, then I'm thinking what else makes you feel more safe if you um knowing that I have the support of my family and friends, like that I can go to that I know will be there, um, being in an environment that's supportive to me. Um yeah, I would say I would say those are the main things having community family and friends that will support me no matter what, and being in an environment where I can thrive with others. So it's that's big for me.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

I'm I'm assuming that's probably what you would provide when you were coaching.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

Yes. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

Ah, I feel it, I feel it. Okay. Let's try this other one. Um, the consistency of your endeavor is more important than the quantity. Small things done each day matters more than what you do occasionally. What story comes to mind when you hear those words?

SPEAKER_03 36:55

Um, the story that comes to mind when I hear that is I started taking piano lessons uh last year and I have them once a week for an hour. And um I switched teachers, so there was like a couple of months, like maybe two months, where I I wasn't working with a with a teacher and I was kind of just doing it on my own. And when I hired this new teacher, you know, he's like every he's like every single day, like just plan for 21 minutes a day. You sit at the piano every day. And I'm like, oh, that's so much more attainable than what I was putting on myself, which was like an hour or 45 minutes every single day. And then I started doing that and I really noticed like my my progression in piano. And then, you know, I'll I'll just own it. It's an excuse. I've put more of things on my plate than I'm capable of handling at one time. And I can't do everything like it's worse for me to take on 15 things and do them at 10% than to take on two and do them at 100. So I lately have only been showing up to our lessons once a week for an hour. And he's like, Did you practice at all this week? I said, No. He's like, not at all. I said, no. He's like, just sit at the piano. Like, don't even, don't even have the goal to play, just sit. And I noticed the difference with not doing, even if it's just 10 minutes a day, it's such an attainable goal, but I've just been not doing it. And I can tell that my progression has gone a little bit backwards. And the things that I would normally pick up pretty quickly, it's like I'm playing catch up right now. So that is definitely something that I going back to your very first question that I could probably be more consistent with is practicing my piano.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where where is this this this desire for playing piano comes from? Like, wait, wait, what happened? How did how does this trigger it trickle on to you?

SPEAKER_03 38:48

So growing up, um, I played violin for seven years. Music is a huge part of my life. Um, I absolutely love playing. And back in the day, I wanted to be a professional musician, like to be in the orchestra playing like for movie soundtracks, like type of thing. Yeah. And I always wanted to produce my own music. I go to music uh festivals and concerts, and it's my favorite thing in the entire world. Like, just that is like my life. And so when I play, I just really I just enjoy the progression of it and just the process and working that side of my brain when I'm in such a very masculine, like doing um entrepreneurship type of mindset 99% of the time. Having that other side of my brain work where I can get into my feminine flow and creativity and just really sink into that is super enjoyable for me. But I do get into this, like again, the productivity, like I have to get shit done mindset, and like that gets pushed to the wayside because my thing is like I need to develop my speaking skills because I need to do this and achieve this, and then the music goes to the wayside. So that's something that I really need to um get back to. And I've been away from a little bit the last like couple of months with travel and just with starting Toastmasters and preparing for speeches and doing a whole myriad of other things all at the same time. It's kind of um been pushed to the side, which makes me sad because I do love it.

SPEAKER_01 40:13

This episode is sponsored by Live Chinese the Marketplace, the own for hard those who own their stories and their business, your book, your merch, your audience, one storefront, you keep 80%, you own your customer list, you build a relationship, real relationship with the readers. If that sounds like the way you want to run your business, visit lifechainwisdom.com. I'm gonna dig into this one a little bit because I'm curious. I'm curious about the music part. Because the music gene or the music desire, I mean, I think you solve so many different things in our life. I mean, I know this still a lot of music I used to, but like I have my memory is sharper when it comes to me. Like I remember a song, I remember this music, I can remember the song, and it takes me to a place sometime like I remember what I was feeling when I was at a paid because of the music. But like I'm anchoring to the music of my time. Yeah, so so when you say like you you wanted to produce, you wanted to create, you wanted to do it. But then what happened?

SPEAKER_03 41:13

You know what? I'll be really honest. What I what I've kind of figured out, what it is, is I just really thrive in community. I'm such a people person, I'm a community person. And whenever I do things that are solo, they just feel very lonely. And so, like, if if it comes to like going to a class where there's more people there, like that is like, oh, I look forward to that. Or like, I look forward to our lessons because him and I are together and like he's teaching me stuff and we're doing it together. But when it comes to me doing it on my own after being in my house all day working from home and like not being around people, I'm like, I'd rather like be around people right now, you know? So it's not that I don't want to play my piano, it's I really just miss the connection of human to human. And so when I think about producing music, like I, one of the things I signed up for this year and what I am guilty and catch myself doing is I do nothing or I do everything. Like there's very much not a middle. And I put so much on my plate because I'm so excited. I want to do this and do that and do this and do that. And then when I actually have it all, I'm like, ah, I'm overwhelmed. Like, how am I gonna do all this? So earlier when I joined Toastmasters, the same exact time I signed up for this course to learn how to produce music. So I was like putting my pen to the paper, I was watching the videos, I downloaded the software, I was doing it. And not only the time commitment that commitment that was needed on top of Toastmasters piano, and I also take dance lessons and I work and I travel and I do the podcast, like all these things. I was like, I just want to be with people. So I stepped back and I stepped back from the course and I said, okay, music production is something I know I will do. But I also same with my podcast. I relaunched it, but I ideally want to have a podcast with another person because I genuinely enjoy the conversations and the connection, the communication, and just the community aspect of it. So, in all things that I'm doing moving forward, I'm trying to set myself up with for success by doing them with an aspect of knowing that there will be a community aspect to it, because then that motivates me more to actually show up.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

This is interesting discovery, Diana.

SPEAKER_03 43:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

That that she is a community person.

SPEAKER_03 43:30

Mm-hmm. Huge.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

She's a community person. Huge. All right, we're gonna talk about that another time. I'm off I'm off to come back to that one. We're gonna put a pin in that one. Okay, on this other question, this other statement here. The thing that made you weird as a kid could make you great as an adult if you do not lose it. Oh, we're just talking about music. Okay, so what comes to mind when you hear that one?

SPEAKER_03 43:54

The thing that makes me weird as a kid?

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Well, it doesn't have to be weird.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

Yeah, I I would say the thing that comes to my mind first, maybe isn't weird, but something that I always got criticized or like poked for was the fact that I ask a lot of questions and that I constantly like have an answer to everything. Like I'm I'm constantly almost like challenging the status quo, challenging authority. Like my mom growing up, it was always like, why? Why this? Why that? I wanted to know. And now in my life now, it's I I like to deep dive on topics that really interest me. And I like to go really, really deep with people because I want to know who are you? What experiences shaped the person that is in front of me right now? Why do you think this way? Why do you feel this way? What happened? And so those things have helped me in my professional life because that obviously is all about coaching. And I also think that it's allowed me to develop an understanding of wisdom within myself, but within others. And then I can then speak from that in what the message is that I'm trying to portray because I don't just stop at surface level. I want to go deeper and I want to ask questions even more. So I wouldn't, I don't know if that's like weird, but that's just something that I never just settled for like a this is it what it is. And like if you ask my mom, I would always ask why, why? Because I said so. I'm like, that's not gonna work. I want to know why. You know, and it's like, you know, your kids, the kids they challenge you, but I genuinely wanted to understand. I'm a very analytical person. So I want to understand things out of depth so then I can then almost um not collect them, but like sync them so then I can then share them in my own way with my own wisdom and experience.

SPEAKER_01 45:51

Did you take physics in school? Do you like physics? I don't know. I wonder why. But but I mean, I I don't remember much physics, but I uh when I read physics books for stuff, I kind of understand like because pretty much everything kind of comes from physics. So it's it's like it's a place you can get really curious, you can ask a lot of questions, like what is where this comes from? Like just like even in spirituality, I ask like, okay, so how did we get here? Where did the world come from? Somebody like, well, they say the evolution came from the big bang. What if what what what what what what where did the big bang come from, right? And where did the thing before the big bang? So it's like I'm always like when somebody gave me an answer, I'm like, okay, so what was before that, right? So it's always the questions like I'm very similar to you. I'm always got more questions. Because if there's a if there's an answer I can question, then I I can't settle for it. I'm questioning everything, that's just my mind.

SPEAKER_03 46:44

Oh, yeah. So I love quantum physics too. Quantum physics, energy, like all of that. Um, yeah, I I'm I'm big into all that.

SPEAKER_01 46:55

Interesting. Okay, here's another one. It says bad things can happen fast, but almost all good things happen slowly. What comes to mind for you?

SPEAKER_03 47:06

Bad things happen fast, but good things happen slowly. I think this is really uh based on perception. I th I I think it's what uh it goes back to energy, like what you focus on expands. And I think bad things can happen quick, but I feel like a lot of good things happen to me quick as well. Like I think of where I was mentally the beginning of this year and how quickly things shifted for me and how many parts are starting to move. And it's almost like, holy crap, like this is happening really fast. So I think that that's really just up to the person's up to perspective and what the person's focusing on. Because if you're focusing on the bad things, then you're gonna get more. If you're focusing on the good things, you're gonna get more. I think bad and good things both come quickly and slowly. It just really depends on, yeah. And and also not no one thing is by definition bad or good. Like you have to be the observer. It's very objective. So, like, for example, you ask someone, how was 2020? And you have this half that says that was the worst year ever, and then you have this year per this half say this was the best year ever. And it's all about your perspective because if you look at it from a lens of, oh, I lost my job, and like, you know, this person died and la la, like, okay, those things, those are facts that those things did happen. But I look at things of like, okay, well, who was I able to become because of these things that happen in the process? And then I see it from a different lens and I see it as a good time period. So I think that's really like just objective.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

I like the statement around the thing that we think is bad is a matter of perspective because it is social. You know, I'm I mean, I know you're a spiritual person too, and you know, I'm on the side of there's no good on bad on a on a scale, like if because something might look wrong, but given a thousand years, it might be right. But but but but when you when you look at the say if there's a person that's looking in all of this thing and you see the whole picture, and it it this might look really wrong, but it's not it might look really bad, but on a longer scale, it might not be. So then when we could say this thing is wrong or it's right or it's bad or it's good, is because of the the little piece of it. And so there is so it's when you think about things long term, you can judge it based on your little moment right now. Can you see it longer term? And I and I I like to say that you know, wise people think in decades or more, because in a 10-year period, you can really measure and eat something, but in a day-to-day year year to year it's kind of it's kind of very hard to kind of tell. And sometimes we just beat upon ourselves about something that happens um this year, but then for example, you go into a really bad experience and that really experience you think is bad, and that experience gave you a key for doors 15 years down the road. Now imagine if you find a way to avoid that experience but get down the road 15 years and realize you need that key for that door, but it's back there 15 years now.

SPEAKER_03 50:14

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 50:14

So then no, you can't open a door, no, you gotta go all the way back and find the key to come back, right? That means you gotta go to the. So it's like you just gotta appreciate the thing that seems bad now because you might take up something there to take to the next location that is a key for that thing, and you can't get past it without it.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

Exactly. And and like I said, I I'm I never am upset about the hard times I've experienced because I always know because I I create in my mind something called the evidence box. And in the evidence box is what are all the moments where, and it goes to the story of the speech that I'm crafting, is what are all the moments in your life where you thought, I can't handle this anymore, or this is the worst period of my life ever, or how can things get worse? And then fast forward and look back and see where it took you and what you were the person you were able to become in the process and what opportunities came from that experience, putting them in your evidence box. So now I know, like, okay, stuff's really hard right now, but that's life. It's gonna go like this. It's not always gonna be rainbows and butterflies, it's not always gonna be bad. Everything in life is temporary. So if you can really just, I mean, literally learn how to suffer well and learn how to still be content and trust and have faith and surrender in that suffering and knowing that this is actually happening for the best good of you and your future, even if it doesn't feel like that, the more quickly you can come to that acceptance, the quicker you're gonna get out of it. And then when you get out of it, you look back and say, Wow, I'm so glad that that happened.

SPEAKER_01 51:49

Evidence box. I think that's a great book title, by the way. No, that that is great, that is a great evidence box. What is in this evidence box? Wow, that's a coming thing. And it's a speech title now, but I think that's a really good one, by the way. I like it. Okay, here's here's this other one. It is much easier to change how you think by changing your behavior than it is to change your behavior by changing how you think. Act out the change you seek. Yeah, we kind of touch on that, but I I want to hear what comes to mind for you. What story pops in your head just now?

SPEAKER_03 52:25

Yeah, so I think it's more just like not always acting on emotions. It's like you have to just show up and do things and like going back to the gym, right? It's like, okay, you think, okay, I don't want to go to the gym. This is gonna be hard, like, I don't like how I look, or blah, blah, blah, whatever it is, like fill in the blank. If you just literally put your shoes on and do something enough times, you will start to think differently. But if you're focused only on your feelings and your thoughts, you're not gonna want to do it. You just have to put in force the action that is needed to get to what it is that you want, and the thoughts will change in the process. It's like goes back to the whole like, what does your future self do? What do they think? What are their habits? What are their behaviors? And start taking the action to be that person today. Because the more that you do that, then in the process your thoughts are going to change.

SPEAKER_01 53:18

You know, it this is a this is a probable statement you think deeply about it, because you know, oftentimes we think that the mind is concrete, but it's not. Like the mind is the most malleable thing. Like behavior is not easy. So I you know, I'm a I'm a big fan of uh Neville Goddard. He has the idea around like state dictate performance, meaning that whatever state you access dictates all you perform. So then if you can find a way to access a different state of mind, then it's easier for everything else to follow because in that state is packed with the laws and the rules and the principles. For example, you think about a country or a state, right? Each state has their own rules, each country got their own rules. It's the same way in your mind. The package is kind of very similar. You go to you in where you're in now, you're in Colorado. But if you go to um North Carolina, North Carolina state got different rules and laws. You go there, you're gonna have to behave based on those rules. You switch state, and it's the rules change, you gotta behave based on the rules. So the state dictates your performance, how you perform. So when I learned that, I was like, oh man, so it's easier for me to access the state, change my mind. My mind caused me to change my behavior, and it's much easier to change my mind than my behavior. Because it's easier to move the spiritual and the physical. But oftentimes we push on the physical, like, no, you gotta change your mind. Because your mind gonna go if your mind is gonna talk you out of the physical, because the mind talks to you, physical doesn't talk to you that much. I mean it does, the body speaks to you, but the mind is in so much control, and if you can change it, a lot of other things change. But sometimes people are so concrete, they're concrete in their belief, and it's very hard for them to change their mind.

SPEAKER_03 54:56

Very true, and very good point, too. And what I think of with that is when I used to work with my clients, you know, and and they were in a certain state, what we would do is basically get them into a visualization where they would then visualize these moments, say if they were like nervous. It's like, okay, close your eyes, think of a moment where you were super motivated or super excited and just load up those feelings, okay, and then anchor them in. And once like the feeling kind of goes away, like it, it's like the peak, and then it starts to go away, you you take your hand, your finger off. Then it's like, okay, you're closing your eyes, you're thinking of another moment where you're really excited, really motivated. Okay, when that feeling starts to load up, you anchor it in again. And you have multiple like stacking moments because they say you need like five positive moments to kind of negate like one negative one. So if you're feeling very nervous or not confident or scared and you want to feel the opposite, then start to visualize it's it's like what athletes do when they want to win a match, like a Michael Phelps wants to win a swim match or Michael Jordan wants to, you know, whatever, like any kind of sport, right? They mentally rehearse what it is that they want to create. So you're loading up the feelings, or you can load up feelings that you want to feel or past feelings, but you want to anchor in that. Then when you come out of it, your your behavior and your actions are different. So it's like there's two ways to look at it. It's like the example I gave before. It's like you just do it and then eventually like it will your thoughts will change, which is the harder route, but the easier route is really just anchoring in and mentally rehearsing what does it feel like when I do feel confident and excited, and start to focus on that, and then your behaviors are different.

SPEAKER_01 56:34

I tell you, she's wise. She is wise. All right, I got a few more things before we wrap up here. And my SD's one you know in order here, so I'm gonna get you thought. So a TV show or a film you have found yourself returning to lately. A TV show I found myself returning to lately, or film that you find yourself returning to return to lately.

SPEAKER_03 57:02

Okay, well, in the spirit of raw authentic, this is embarrassing. Well, here's what I'll say. I'm not really a big TV person in general, um, but there are some TV shows that I like I could just watch for hours and like I just finished Survivor.

SPEAKER_01 57:17

I want I want I want their authentic.

SPEAKER_03 57:19

Yes. I watched Survivor, I just finished it. Now I'm like, oh man, my I love reality game shows. Like anything, anything that is like people together, social experiment, because I love to see how different like people interact and different like just personalities. That's it's really fascinating to me. But then like the aspect of it being a competition and strategy, I love that. So Survivor and Big Brother, I love those. Survivor ended, Big Brother hasn't started, and my guilty pleasure, embarrassingly, is Love Island. And I don't know why. It's trash TV. I I'm focused on business, like business and entrepreneurship and personal growth 99% of the time. That sometimes I just like to like just turn it off and put something on that literally I don't have to think about. And right now that's Love Island.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

It's embarrassing, but she likes it.

SPEAKER_03 58:13

You know, it just it's it's filling the spot for now before Big Brother comes on. Once Big Brother comes on, I kick Love Island of the curve. It's like my filler show when I like just want to turn my brain off and like I don't have to think about anything.

SPEAKER_00 58:25

Nah, you're human, my friend. You're human. We all are human.

SPEAKER_03 58:29

But I am re-watching The Chosen also. I watched The Chosen all the way through in like a month, and I'm re-watching that as well. So that's a really good show.

SPEAKER_01 58:38

Okay. Next question. Three books you recommend to a friend, you would recommend to a friend right now.

SPEAKER_03 58:45

Ooh, The Mountain is You by Brianna West was a really, really powerful book that I read. Um, let's see. I have like books on my bookshelf. There's so many that I could recommend. I would say Celeste in Prophecy. I've already forgot the author. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza. And the third one would be The Mountain Is You by Brianna West.

SPEAKER_01 59:11

Got him, got him, got him, got him. All right. Here's another one. A product or tool you have been using that has been a game changer for you.

SPEAKER_03 59:23

Product or tool I've been using that's been a game changer. Uh Chat GBT. That's uh definitely been a game changer. It helps really um give me creative ideas and help me structure things, you know, really well and the world is moving towards AI. I'm not like huge and knowing how to make the perfect prompt and to have it do everything that you know a lot of people know how to do. I'm very behind on that, I will say. I'm I'm more like a boomer in the internet age on when it comes to AI right now. But I think that it's serving its purpose right now. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:04

Okay. See the boomer.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:06

Yeah, I'm a boomer. How is that possible? How is that possible? I just haven't spent the time to like learn about AI. It's one of those things where it's like another thing I want to do, but like priorities, you know. I have to.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

You probably probably should let's put it see you a silent generation with when it comes to AI on six. Okay, um, last one. A community you have been finding real value in A.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:30

My church community.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:32

Church community.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:33

Yep. I I recently I didn't grow up religious at all. And that's one thing I will say. I'm very grateful for my past relationship, is he brought me to God and he he grew up in a in a a faith-based household and his parents were very religious, and I felt like something was missing. I went down the line of faith and found an incredible church here. Um, just got baptized in April, and I I saw that video. Yeah. And I I've just found such an amazing group of people that I've always wanted. Um, just like ride or die people that I know will have my back and that are have depth and just have the best hearts. And yeah, so I'm really enjoying them.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:16

I got more questions on this topic. You said you found spirituality, you found that and you said something was missing. So what I'm missing thing for you like.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:29

Yeah, so when I started, because I didn't grow up religious or spiritual, when I started my first business in 2019, that's when I really went down the spiritual path. Because I mean, if you're an entrepreneur or a business owner, that is like the most spiritual thing I think you will ever do, in my opinion. Like you have to face every single part of yourselves, fears, shadows, blocks if you want to be successful in business, in my opinion. If you want to be, you know, reach the top of what you're capable of. And so I was going through that um spirituality, but I just felt like I just felt alone and I was trying to go at it on my own and like fix myself and like heal myself, and then everything will work. And I just realized that I can't do it alone. I need other people. And so when I was living in Tampa, Florida or St. P area, I had joined a faith-based mastermind group in Tampa, Florida. And they would basically talk about entrepreneurship, but like would fuse in scripture. And I was like, I don't really like know if that's like my vibe, but the people that were there, um, I just felt felt good. So I was like, okay, well, maybe there's something to this. And I started to just study successful people, wealthy people, people that had good marriages, good family lives, and and kind of like the common denominator across all of those was God. And I was like, okay, maybe there's like something to this. And then I went to a couple churches in Tampa, um, wasn't really like and in Vegas, and wasn't really like it, it wasn't for me. Like it didn't, it, it just didn't feel like it was my place. Then when I moved to Colorado and I went to the church here, it was the first time I walked in those doors and I was like, whoa, like I'm meant to be here. Like, I don't know. It was just like an overwhelming sense of feeling in my body. And I was like, you know, I don't I don't know that I'm gonna like convert to, you know, this religion or or whatever, but let me just go every Sunday and like see how this feels. And I just can't explain. Like every week that I would come, I just felt different. I felt more connected, I felt more like at peace, like all the anxiety that I was feeling. I just felt more like trusting. I felt like, okay, I'm actually good. Like I'm I'm always evidence box. Every time I didn't think that I was okay, I was always okay. And things always worked out. So knowing that here, I felt it in my body. And so kind of the turning point for me was I when I was with my ex-fiance, I looked at him and I said, you know, I think I want to find out how I can go about like converting and getting baptized and doing this. And up until that point, it was like nine months of going to church every Sunday. It was only the priest that talked and like, you know, that was pretty much it. That day, after I said that to him, 10 minutes later, there's three women that came up on the altar and they were like, Yeah, you know, if you're an adult um interested in in becoming Catholic, like come talk to us after Mass. And I was like, that's crazy. So it just like, it was like I I had asked for it and it was like, boom, okay, this is where you're meant to be. And since that, like I said, I I I grew up an only child and I I've been single a lot of my life. Like I've had relationships, but I've been single a lot and I've been very independent and I've always tried to like do everything on my own. And what they preach in in church is just like, you're not meant to do it alone. Like you're meant to walk with family and with community. And it was the first time that I felt like I was just completely taken in with full arms from a group of people that accepted me for me and gave me something that I'd always been missing, which was just like acceptance and belonging in a place no matter who I was and what I came from, and people that actually show up for you because I'm very much a person that if you're my person, like my like my people, like I will show up tooth and nail no matter what. Like I've I've got you. And I always gave that, but I felt it was really hard for me to get that reciprocated. And these people gave that to me before I gave anything. And so it was like, wow, I feel like I actually found what I was looking for and I feel so like taken care of and so supported in everything that I do. And I know I was just talking uh, because I went over to uh a couple of friends from my church last night to their house for dinner. And I said, I feel like I could literally call anyone in this church, whether I have had one conversation or 15 conversations, and I could say, I'm broke down on the highway three hours away, and they would drop everything and come get me. And that's the person that I am. So being able to have that reciprocation has just been everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:10

That's great. Last question before we wrap up. If Raw Authentic was what you see in your head right now, what would that look like? And what is the smallest version of that you could build this month?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:30

If Rawthentic turned out to what I envision without pressure, but just organically, it would be having more conversations like this, more in-depth conversations with people, connecting, having honest conversations, sharing stories, sharing hardships, sharing lessons, sharing wisdom, and doing it more frequently. Um, again, collaboration, communication, community. Uh, it would also be eventually, I've visualized like having a live podcast like show with like a live audience where like it it would be super cool to have like a partner in it and do it with somebody and be able to like have these conversations in front of a live audience and get the word out more and just inspire more people to really speak their truth and allow them to show up messy and unfiltered and raw and know that their story is gonna help a lot of people if they have the courage to share their voice. Um, and a way that I can start that now is definitely get back on the mic. It's been about a month and a half, I think, since I put out a new episode. And I actually have it on my list, depending on how my how I'm feeling. I'm feeling really good right now because I took a lot of DayQill, but depending on how I'm feeling tomorrow, um, will dictate, you know, what I'm able to pump out. But I think also reaching out to people, because so far my episodes have all been solo and I would like to do more collaborative type of conversational um podcast episodes. So that's definitely something that I can look into doing.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:03

So then if you if you my my other podcast is called idea tennis. So it's me and my other partner. We just kind of go idea back and forth. But if you're thinking about the idea tennis version, so the other person on the other side of the court for you when it comes to your your podcast, like what kind of person you imagine that person being for you to swing the bat back and forth with?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:26

Someone who's not afraid to go there. I think someone that is also like down to get raw, down to have the hard conversations, to be vulnerable, and also someone who has done a lot of work and has had, you know, has been in this personal development, personal growth. They're driven, they're ambitious, they they know what they want, they take risks, they have courage. And yeah, just someone that can kind of match me, like to be on that level, but different in the way that we can challenge each other, whether that's what we believe or how we go, you know, for things. Or yeah, just different perspectives, I think are important. I don't, I I have my my best friend Allie, who we had uh brainstormed a couple of years ago doing a podcast together. And there's so many things that we could talk about, but we are very similar. And I don't want like someone that's super, super similar to me. Like I want to be able to idea tennis off of them and have different perspectives because I think that multiple perspectives and a conversation is is important and necessary. So yeah, just someone that's open, authentic, raw, and someone that has done the work and is on the path.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:32

Well, I hope that person like found you like when the you'd say you want to be baptized, and the next day was like right. You saw the universe, my friend.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:43

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:44

Okay, I think we're we are at the end of this session. So I would love to know what is your biggest takeaway from this conversation, if you don't mind sharing.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:54

Probably my biggest takeaway is just I love doing this. Like I want to do more of this. I think that, you know, like I said, coming into this, I was not feeling good physically because I'm getting coming down with something, but it this energizes me. Even when I feel like I'm tired and don't want to do something, like being in community and connecting with others and having these conversations is something that really fuels me. And I need to find a way to do this more because that's really what brings me joy.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:24

I concur. Uh, I I would rap with this too because you know, I did my time in the military and I switched over. And I was like, I want to do community. You were worth the sacrifice. I wanted to do this more, right? And I felt like I was cut off from my brotherhood, you know, because what I was pursuing was more entrepreneurial stuff, and it's like completely different from the military. I just didn't feel like I had the community anymore. I just feel like I was um a lone, lost wolf, so to speak, until I find my tribe again, whatever. But it was a lot of work, and when I find some people are like, man, I miss this, I miss this, I miss the camaraderie, the connection, the brotherhood. So it's always good to have community. Uh it's one of the best things. I don't think we're meant to be alone, even in the Bible says it's not good for a man to be alone and our woman, because we need each other, and there is a void in all of us for the other person. As much as we want to, there's a void in us for the other person. So we just gotta figure out how do we find them, the right people that's gonna help us enjoy the void, right? So, with that, my friend, make it a utterly, utterly fantastic afternoon.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:33

Thank you so much, Asher. You as well.