SPEAKER_02 0:00

I am someone who has learned to radically accept myself and is still learning to do that. Like I think there's always more growth. So I can acknowledge how far I've come in like loving myself, accepting myself, feeling proud of myself. That's something I incorporate as like proud of myself for going after this new opportunity. I was thinking the other day, like, who do you like the most that you can spend a bunch of days with and not get sick of them? The answer is me. And this is coming from someone who didn't like to be alone before. Like, I need a buddy to go to the grocery store. I need a buddy to go on a hike. If you can't hike, I'm not gonna go because I don't want to go by myself. So this is a big shift for me. So I would say I'm someone who's like confident, getting more and more confident every day, and continuing to grow and expand my own capacity for what I want to create.

SPEAKER_05 1:02

You walk into a room and something shifts before you can name it. Your chest tightens, your stomach drops, and before the feeling even settles, your mind is already talking you out of it, smoothing over, calling it nothing, and moving you along. Your body knew first, yet you argue it down. My guest today would tell you that signal is worth trusting. Alana Robertson is a semantic life coach, certified through the Hendrick Institute. She works with people whose lives look right on paper and stick heavy underneath. The steady paycheck, the relationship that checked the boxes, and a quiet pool that says you were built for something. The life you're living hasn't touched yet. She won't hand you an answer. She'll walk you back to the part of you that already has one. Here's what to catch about her. She didn't arrive here from rock bottom. She had a life that looked fine, and she reached for more instead of waiting for the world to hand it to her. So if your days look good to the people around you and feel thin when you're alone with them, it's a conversation found you on purpose. Why the body tells the truth, your mind keeps dodging. What it costs to keep choosing what other people approve of, and what happens when you start building a life around someone else's opinion of what yours should look like. Come sit in this one with us. Smile wide while you still got teeth. Okay. Alright. Well, Alana, so it's it's a pleasure having you today. It's been we it's been a long time coming. Uh we've been friends for a while. I don't know why you take so long to hit the brother up. But today's conversation is about alignment, visibility, and why being fully yourself can feel harder than it sounds. You might be the one who stayquired to keep the peace. You might be the one who plays a role so well that people lost sight of who you are underneath it. You might be the one who became a version of yourself that others are more comfortable with and you can't say when the shift happened. You might be the one who is worn out of pretending, the one who fills the gap between who you are inside and who you let people see. The one who learned somewhere along the way that certain parts of you were were safer kept hidden. If any of that sounds like you, this conversation is for you. We're talking about how we learn to shape shift, to feel safe, what it costs to keep performing, and what it takes to come back to your real self. And today on the podcast, I have a longtime friend. I think we met what?

SPEAKER_03 3:54

Winter of 2021. Or maybe 2022. 2023. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 4:01

Yeah, yeah. Actually, I think it's 2023 because I got injured that same weekend that we were up there for that um.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 4:08

Um, I got injured that weekend, so it's 2023. I think that's 2023. Yeah, it's been a while.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

So thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here and to go in this conversation with you.

SPEAKER_05 4:20

I know, I got I got some surprise for you. Oh, I think you knew what I know you don't like surprise. I know you don't like surprise. But but for the for the folks that's listening, okay. So our our conversation theme around is gonna be around alignment and visibility. Let me anchor this for a bit. And we focus on on what others want us to be, then we forget who we really are, and life feels empty. That feels like you, yes. Let's step into this conversation. And we're gonna start where the you're hidden parts of yourself to keep you you hide parts of yourself to keep the peace, avoid judgment, and then you lose touch with your true self. You're exhausted trying to pretend you're someone else. So, Alana, my first question for you before we start, and I had this on the on my list as far as like at the end of the podcast, I will have asked to guess my guests a couple of these these five questions. But the last question, at least I want to open with, because I thought I'm interested about this, because I haven't asked you this question. So your Mount Rushmore, right? Like three three to five people who shaped your life the most, and they cannot be your family members. If you had to share with us who those people are.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Yeah, that's an interesting question. I think it's tough because my family members are definitely a big part of that. So well, they would be my three. Um, but if I can't say them, I would say, I would say first my life coach, Tamra, who I started working with her probably in 2021 or the end of 2020. And I've been working with her ever since, and she really helped me through this transformational time in my life, and she helped me get a lot of these shifts in motion. So I would say my life coach one, and then the people she introduced me to, like their work, is the Hendrix, gay and Katie Hendricks. They're a couple, and they have an institute where they train coaches, they provide resources on restoring your own resourcefulness and getting back into your body. So I would say the two of them, I started out with some of the books they read, some of the books they wrote, and from there I was like, wow, this work is just so powerful, and it's really helping me. I'll give an example. There's a book that gay co-wrote called The Eight Secrets of Conscious Luck, something like that. And I was listening to it on audiobook as I was driving around LA when I first moved here. And I don't know, it was like listening to that book, it shifted my mindset and it it really opened me up to more luck. Like good things just kept happening. And I had I had such a successful move to LA, you know. I think people were like, oh, it's really hard to move to LA. But I met my closest group of friends within two weeks of living there, like just so randomly. And I think a lot of it was like, I was just getting all of this information, listening to this book about creating your own luck and showing up in a certain way so that you can attract more positive things into your life. And yeah, I really saw that firsthand. So those would be gay and Katie would be the other two, because then I also ended up getting my coach certification through the Hendricks Institute. So I've had a lot more interaction with the two of them, and I got to actually meet them and work with them. So they would definitely be big proponents. And then I I'll add one more. When I was in college, I did this like study research experience for undergraduates program. We like spent the summer in Atlanta, Georgia. And one of my professors was kind of like a mentor professor guiding the research project, just the way she showed up in her life and for this group. It was mostly women in our group. So it was kind of like the way she showed up for us as a group of women, and really like kind of the the first powerful like boss lady that I had, you know, experienced or not bought like a mentor, because I think I had had a lot of male bosses, and I was more comfortable with male bosses and male supervisors and male, you know, professors. So this was the first like female teacher that I really related to and really respected and and felt like comfortable around. And she, you know, kind of showed me what's possible, I guess.

SPEAKER_05 9:01

Interesting. Uh you you find a way to find your your mount rush more of influencers in your life without being in family. And that's that's that's a lot that that's hard for other people, by the way. Who are those people? Not sure who to pair, right? Yeah. You mentioned about the body. I wrote this thing down this morning because I would listen to another book. I might actually just it says the mind can live in fantasy, but the body lives in reality. When you hear those words, what comes to mind for you?

SPEAKER_02 9:30

The mind can live in fantasy, but the body lives in reality. I would say the first thing that comes to mind is like that experience I think a lot of us have had when we walk into a room and our body is like, you know, like we feel this drop, we feel this tightness in our chest, we feel our stomachs drop, something like that, and you know the vibe is off. Our mind can easily like talk our bodies out of that, you know, and say, Oh, there's nothing to worry about, there's nothing to worry about, um, you're overreacting, you know, and the mind can create this whole fantasy and the body is like, no, we sense danger and now we are in fight or flight response.

SPEAKER_05 10:16

Have you experienced that personally in the recent years or months?

SPEAKER_02 10:20

I mean, I think definitely, but the cool addition to that is while the mind, you know, can be in fantasy, our thoughts are really powerful. So if we are thinking like, you know, really positive thoughts, thoughts of what we want to create versus what we want to avoid.

SPEAKER_05 10:44

Thoughts of luck.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Okay, yeah. You can create like more powerfully from your mind. So, right, like your mind can recognize, okay, I walked into this room and my body is feeling threatened. I'm looking around. There actually is no real threat. The threat might be like, my boss is here, you know, and I'm nervous. So then you can actually use your mind to come back to the reality that you want, you know, which is like not stressed, competent. And we bring the somatic body work into it to like process the emotion through your body. We can't just ignore the fact that we're in a fight or flight response. We still want to move out of that.

SPEAKER_05 11:35

I like that. I like that. All right, let me let me jump on my list of um thoughts I prepared to ask you because I want to get to your feedback and your response to these. But it says let me move my screen over here. First one, it says, say what you really want instead of always going along with what works for everyone else. And the flip side of it is if you keep adjusting to other people, you can lose touch with what you want. What story comes to mind for you when you hear those thoughts?

SPEAKER_02 12:03

Oh, okay, here's a story. In when I lived in Vale, Colorado, I think I got really good at pretending to be like this certain way, you know, and I knew how people would want me to show up. And so I really tried to like be that way. So like I I just read back in one of my journal reflections, I think from like 2022, of realizing that I was just surface acting, you know, like I would go to work and be like, okay, I am the Alana who does who works at Lululemon and is totally like I just a different person, you know. I think. Let me try and put this into words.

SPEAKER_05 12:52

It's like how did you feel for you?

SPEAKER_02 12:54

I think I didn't even notice I was doing it. I didn't even notice that I was like answering questions in a different way. Okay, I remember I would watch. Like I was always very quiet when I would start to be in a new situation, and then I could open up, and that was because I was like, let me watch and see what's happening, let me learn how people are operating here, and then I can duplicate that. You know, so once I learned what's going on, I could more easily feel like, okay, now I can share and voice my opinions, but they weren't even, they were still like my monitored opinions.

SPEAKER_05 13:34

So you feel like you were chameleon in those periods of your life, just blending in, shading color?

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Yeah, yeah. And I think as like a growing up, you know, kind of as a shy kid, I definitely wanted to be a chameleon. I definitely wanted to like blend in, you know. I think a lot of kids have this. It's like, don't look at me. I'm I'm just like everyone else, you know.

SPEAKER_05 14:00

But but you're but you're not, you're not. Um I know you got you got mixed parents, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Are you do you race-wise?

SPEAKER_05 14:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

Yeah, both my parents are black.

SPEAKER_05 14:09

And so both your parents, oh, mm. I would have thought you would have been mixed. Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

I get that a lot.

SPEAKER_05 14:16

You get that a lot. Okay, so so tell me how that creates the chameleon kind of blending in kind of personality for you then.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Yeah, I would say like the racial identity piece was very confusing when I was a child, because you know, I have such light skin, and you know, so my parents are like, well, we're black. And then everybody else is like, what? You know, especially like back then, like, you know, 25 years ago, I feel like it's different than it was now. So I'm thinking like when I'm like, you know, eight or whatever. And people would literally just say, No, you're not. Like, no, you're not. You must be Asian. Or like, no. Are you sure you don't have one Asian grandparent? I'm like, yeah, I am sure. So that was actually really interesting. It's only later on that I realized those interactions I think made it harder to trust myself. Because here's like this really basic identity thing. You know, you're like, I am a girl, my name is Alana, I am black. Those are my identity factors, they're just facts. And for someone to be like, no, no, you're wrong, is like, you know, that's kind of damaging as a child.

SPEAKER_05 15:39

You start questioning, is am I telling the truth to myself?

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Exactly. Yeah, you're kind of like, can I trust what I'm saying? Subconsciously, of course. Like I didn't put this together until more recently. So yeah, that was definitely an interesting experience. And I think, you know, as African Americans, it's like there's so much history of why we're a broad range of colors of shades. And, you know, I think on the books we have like one Irish great grandmother. You know, and otherwise it's like everyone's black. Oh, we're still a range of shades. So I think stepping into that identity only came when I was a bit older and could like live in that ambiguous space of like people aren't always gonna know, and they're gonna ask you annoying questions. And as a kid, yeah, I definitely wanted to just like I didn't want people to ask me that question. I was like, don't even look at me, don't ask me like what I am or who I am. Like, let me just live. So I definitely tried to just like go under the radar and be a chameleon of sorts.

SPEAKER_05 16:54

Here goes another one, Alana.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 16:57

Notice when you're hiding instead of calling it being easygoing. On the flip side, if you hide often enough, it starts to feel normal.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

Okay. I think I'm gonna give you a story that you'll like. Because so when Asher first approached me for this podcast, he sent me this long proposal of like the play-by-play from Claude and like the AI, and I was reading it, and I I use the AI a lot, so I know its language, I know the like little AI isms that it says, and I was oh man, this is just too much AI. I was having a body reaction, like I read that and I was just like, you know, I felt this like sinking feeling and kind of constrained. And I was like, I just want to bang my head on the table. Like, I just don't want to hear Claude talk to me. So and I think in the past, I would have just been like uh not said anything to you and would have just gone ahead and done the podcast. We probably wouldn't have had as good of an episode, and I would be like hiding. I think when you try and hide, this is something that I learned through the coaching training. When you try and hide something like a truth or an opinion or feeling, you end up in this cycle of withhold, withdraw, project. So you're withholding a truth, and then you start withdrawing from the person, you know. So I might start dodging you, might be like, ah, sorry, Asher, I can then actually do the podcast today, you know, because I I want to avoid it. So there's the withhold, the withdraw, and then project. And then I start saying, I start making up things about you and about the situation. I'm like, oh my gosh, Asher just uses AI so much, he's, you know, whatever kind of judgment around that, and start making it into this whole thing, like, I don't even want to do this podcast anyway, you know? And so you go into that whole cycle. So that is, I think, a common thing that happens when you hide. And but I had the thought in the moment of like, okay, it would be easier in the moment to just be like, all right, whatever, this is annoying. But instead, I was like, no, we're gonna share our real feelings, and I sent you a voice note, and you know, then we got to have an open, honest conversation about it, and now I don't have to, you know, pretend I can just show up authentically and fully.

SPEAKER_05 19:48

That is fall for the way. I am glad you're enjoying the podcast. Before we continue, I have a gift for you. Since 2016, I have read and listened to over 900 books so far. It's gonna be a thousand, and I organized them into a library and I handpick the top 100 books I recommend to my clients, my friends, and the people in my community. Books on storytelling, language, and personal growth, and building something from your own life. If you're watching this podcast and you're looking for your next great read, this library is your gift. It is free. Go to Ashraalbertwright.com and check out the 1000 book challenge. This is my gift to you. Now back to the conversation. And here's a here's a thing. A lot of people respect that.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

Yes, I found that. The more I do it, it's like, oh, I'm so glad I said the thing. Like, it's actually better now, you know?

SPEAKER_05 20:42

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But but is so a lot of us we would assume if we state the fact, tell the truth, or tell people how we feel, they would feel like they might like, oh no. People want to have relationships, they want to have collaboration, they want to have partnership, want to have conversation, they want to know what you think and how you feel. And when you're hired, they don't know. Um this is exactly just just my thing. I'm like, well, uh, it's supposed to be our thing, right? So I read this quote, it says, Your path is not to follow my path.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

Oh. Your path is not to follow my follow my path.

SPEAKER_05 21:18

So if you show up with your thing, then I get to have my thing, and then we all come together and create our thing. It's like the battery spark, we know, like my negative, your positive sparks an idea. Electricity, my friend. So we need that. So thank you for stepping and saying, hey, I got I got other ideas here. Let me talk about this one.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

I appreciate it. Yes, and thank you for adjusting and being open to the feedback.

SPEAKER_05 21:39

Yes, that's what life is all about. Exactly. I got one more for you. I got one more for you. Here's the other one. Okay, trust feelings instead of pushing them aside to keep things smooth. On the flip side, if you keep ignoring what you feel, you stop trusting yourself. Mm, I like this one too.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Ah, yes. I think let's start with that flip side of like keep ignoring what you feel and you'll stop trusting yourself. I think what I've learned through my coach training with the Hendricks Institute is our bodies are really powerful signals for us. Right. Like we learn when we're hungry, when we have to go to the bathroom, when we're tired. We learn those body signals, but we don't learn the other ones. Start honoring the and listening to and acknowledging the other body sensations is like how we start to trust those. I think if I feel my throat like tighten and sometimes it feels like there's a frog in my throat or kind of like throw up sensation. And I could ignore that and kind of push it down and be like, no, it's nothing. Like, you know, but then it just stays there versus if I acknowledge it, I was able to sit with it long enough that now I know, okay, when I have this feeling in my throat, it's actually an identifier for me. It tells me, like, hey, there's something you're not saying, there's something you're not being honest about. That's what it means for me. So the more we can learn what our body signals are telling us, we can kind of use that internal guidance system and trust our own decision making.

SPEAKER_05 23:30

I'm curious. Specifically, maybe maybe happens often, where does your anxiety shows up oftentime when you know you're anxious about something? Where does this show up? Where are you not be feeling your body for you?

SPEAKER_02 23:42

I would say a lot of it ends up in my throat because what I'm usually anxious about is like not being like having to have a difficult conversation and not wanting to, you know, in terms of like mapping emotions to the body, fear usually shows up like in the stomach. And I think what's interesting is this is kind of along the lines of like when we keep ignoring, we stop learning how to listen or trusting ourselves. I forgot exactly what it was, but we lose track of what emotions are where. So we'll just say, oh, we're really anxious. But actually, if I feel my shoulders tighten and tense and my jaw tensed or tightened, like that's a sign of anger. And so, you know, I think before I learned that, I didn't always recognize that. I would just say, I'm anxious. But really, like if I listen to my body and it's all in my shoulders and my jaw, I'm angry. And that's important distinction because then you know what the emotion is and you can address it, right? If you're just trying to address anxiety, but in reality you have anger underneath that, then you're not resolving the anger situation.

SPEAKER_05 24:55

Well, maybe, maybe this this is my read on my own body.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:59

It's like when I get anxious, I feel it in my legs.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_05 25:03

Yes, my my legs start either like they start, they're getting they start moving. Don't let me notice I'm moving my legs.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 25:10

And that that tells me I should go for a walk.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:15

I need to go, I need to step away from what I'm doing, and then you go for a walk. It gets some like it gets some perspective. Because I could do very long walks most days, just to think, and process stuff, because I'm always trying to crack the code on something I'm thinking about. But I noticed that. And it only happens, I would say, after I left the army, that's when I start noticing where my anxiety shows up. Because before that I didn't really pay attention to, I just know I'm always in this crazy, busy, busy, busy life, right? But now that I have a lot of time, I can tell what I'm like when I'm feeling that it shows up in my legs.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

And does it show up anywhere else as well? Or like what's the sensation that you feel in your legs? I'm just curious.

SPEAKER_05 25:49

Yeah, I feel a little tingling and I feel my legs start, you know, when somebody like legs start doing that. Like, I notice my legs start doing that, and I'm like, well, I can't stop that. So I gotta like, I need to go for a walk because something is really, really going on here.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Yeah, so kind of like this like restless energy, it sounds like.

SPEAKER_05 26:07

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Yeah, I would be curious if you like kind of tuned in next time you feel anxious and notice if you feel any subtler sensations. Because this, like, you know, leg moving one is obviously very present and it'll call your attention. It's very loud. But are there any subtler sensations elsewhere? Like I would kind of scan your body from top to bottom, and I would just be curious to see like what else is going on here, what other sensations might my body be feeling?

SPEAKER_05 26:48

It's interesting. No, I mean, I've been starting, I start paying attention to because I do have this, I have a lot of tension in my shoulders too. Because I mean, maybe my posture probably, but but I do a lot of brain work. So even time when I talk to my therapist sometimes, like my mind is chaos, meaning that it has my mind is very my brain is very fertile. Meaning that a lot of ideas come to Ash. I actually have a lot of ideas, right? Ideas, crazy ideas, that's a lot of ideas. So sometimes I gotta figure out how do I process them at a speed of where I'm thinking them and how do I get them out of my my my system. And that's the reason why I love AI, because now I can talk my ideas into whatever cloud, my my my favorite AI is cloud, right? So now I can I can let it out without sitting here with it um and trying to get objectify it in my own mind. It's very difficult. So when I put it out and I can see it, then I can okay, I could turn off these other places that it keeps irritating me in myself, like my shoulder, my neck, all those places, right? That I feel so yeah. But the jaw piece, I don't, I don't yeah, it's mostly shoulders, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yeah, and the shoulders, like once you word vomit to AI, do your shoulders kind of relax? Do you feel better?

SPEAKER_05 28:03

Yes, I feel better because now I can analyze the data that's was in my head that I could organize now. So it helps a lot.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Interesting, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Yeah, I think that's great, like noticing, and maybe there's some anger around having so much in your head and like you know, not knowing what to do with it.

SPEAKER_05 28:27

Yeah. Could be because sometimes these problems are so difficult.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 28:32

Get you like, give you tense up. Okay, you ready to get to another one?

SPEAKER_03 28:37

Yeah, let's go to another one.

SPEAKER_05 28:39

Okay. All right, here's the other one, number four here. I'll notice. Listen to your body when something feeds off instead of talking yourself out of it. On the flip side, if you override your gut too often, you stop hearing it, it's warning. We were just there.

SPEAKER_02 28:55

Yeah, I think this one's similar. When I lived in Colorado, I was constantly pushing my feelings down and my emotions down and not acknowledging them. And I was sick a lot. And I was like had a lot of just like pains, you know, it'd be like, oh my stomach, my leg, my shoulders, my back, like everything. You know, it was like if once I healed from one thing, it was another thing. And they weren't massive, you know, it wasn't like, oh, I have to go to the hospital. It was just kind of like kind of an annoyance, right? And looking back, like I haven't really been sick since I got COVID, long COVID, and then, you know, and then I started amplifying this work with my body and listening to my emotions and doing things about them, you know, like honoring them, processing them, moving them through my body. And I have like really not been sick. I've been I've been sick like one time, and that's a whole different story. But I think I think there was like, what if we look at that as signals? Like my body was trying to tell me something, and I just was not listening. And so it just continued to show up in physical ways.

SPEAKER_05 30:19

It is very interesting here that your thoughts can make you sick.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

I think sometimes sometimes they're real viruses, but sometimes it can just be your thoughts and your body trying to warn you about something or tell you something.

SPEAKER_05 30:35

Yeah, because we we we do have unhealthy thinking, unhealthy thoughts that shows up and it just because it makes you feel something like for example if you keep thinking about somebody that for some reason just drive you crazy. Right? And most of the day you're sitting around being bitter or that by that person just disliking that person, just replaying all of the bad things that do that they're done to you or they said to you, and for some reason your body's like, I am tired of processing that poison. Can we stop thinking about that? Can we start can we go talk to the person, express it, do something, get it out, but don't internalize it, because it's like it's the internal explosion, and your body starts getting sick. And I've experienced that myself. Where I was I would yeah, I mean, because I've been in a couple relationships, but but in one particular relationship, um, this person, I don't want to say their name, but this person does frustrate the hell out of me. And I have to deal with this person for a long period of my life because we have an attachment. And I just every time I think about that person, I'm like, man, like I don't want to hear your voice, I just want to talk to you. But it started making me feel like weaker on my on my in my surface. I'm like, I don't want to be able to and I've noticed that. I'm like, let me stop processing, let me not think about this person because whatever is in my head, I need to get rid of that. So people do that to you, and whatever that reason is, you gotta come to terms with it. But yeah, I've experienced that myself. What about you?

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Yeah, I think I I don't know if I have one specific example. I think it was kind of just all of the things happening, ignoring my body signals and just you know, being a lot sicker and a lot weaker and a lot more tired. I used to take so many naps. I would take like a three-hour nap in the middle of the day. Very unproductive, very difficult.

SPEAKER_05 32:39

Oh well, you your brain is on is on overload. Okay, let's try another one. I want to see if I got get some some other thoughts from you here. Okay, here's one. Be honest about what feels true for you instead of being who other people or others are comfortable with. On the flip side, if you keep shaping yourself around other people, you can start to forget who you are. Have that experience happened to you in your past.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Yeah, that's true. It's very similar to the chameleon conversation. I think maybe, you know, it's just anytime someone is like, Do you want to do this? And I say, Yeah, sure, but I don't really want to do it, you know, and I end up in situations that then I'm kind of resentful and bitter about. I'm like, oh, why did I go to this thing? Hmm, this is this is a tough one to like really think about, you know? Because I think conceptually I'm like, yeah, sometimes I do, I am just agreeable just to like be who people are more comfortable with.

SPEAKER_05 33:51

Why do you do it?

SPEAKER_02 33:52

In the past, I think it's kind of like a I'm not confident in myself, I'm not trusting myself, I'm not loving myself to think that like I'm enough as I am. Like maybe one example is just like a very simple thing with my identity and my hair, like wearing my naturally curly hair. I never used to do that. And and then even when I did, I started to feel a little bit more comfortable wearing my natural hair, but I still would like put it up, you know, if I was going to work or something, I would tie it back in a ponytail or a bun. So I wasn't streaming it constantly, but I was still not just like letting it be, you know, down and out. And I think what was the fear?

SPEAKER_05 34:39

What was the fear?

SPEAKER_02 34:40

I don't even think I had put like, I don't think I had articulated it. I think it was just kind of this thing of like, I'm gonna stand out too much. And that was also when I lived in Colorado. So yeah, I would have stood out.

SPEAKER_05 34:55

Um back to visibility and alignment.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

Back to visibility and alignment, yeah. And I think I so I guess the fear underneath that is like, am I good enough to stand out? If I stand out and people see me, you know, what will they think?

SPEAKER_03 35:12

Kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Or like, will I be accepted if I show up differently than everybody else? Maybe that's the fear underneath it.

SPEAKER_05 35:22

Isn't that what you want to be unique?

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Well, you know, I think that's something we say we all want. Do we do we want that? You know, I think when I you know, that's it, it's an interesting point. I think we say we want to be unique, and and then you find someone else's life and you're like, ooh, but I like what they're doing. I want to do what they're doing, you know, and then you kind of want to like copy them. Like you said, my path is not your path to follow. But I think until we come into this place of like really loving and accepting ourselves, we want to go to someone else's path and we don't want to be unique.

SPEAKER_05 36:05

You know, if you go going back to your visibility piece here, do you get picked that as a kid growing up? Picked out a lot.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

You know, it's funny because I really didn't. And I just was talking to my mom about this the other day because I was very shy. So I only had, you know, like a couple friends, and I kind of kept to those friends. So that's like, you know, perfect scenario for getting picks on. But I didn't. And my mom said my first grade teacher would tell her, like, nobody messes with Alana. I don't know why. They just like kind of know not to mess with her. And I didn't tell them this. I didn't even know. But yeah, I've I've never really struggled with people like picking on me. I think I've dealt with people to my face being like, what are you? No, you're not, you know, kind of arguing with me in that way. But not this kind of like thing that little kids do of like picking on you. I never really had that.

SPEAKER_05 37:05

Okay. So currently, what would you say Alana is right now? Who would you say Alana is right now?

SPEAKER_02 37:12

Currently, who would I say Alana is?

SPEAKER_00 37:14

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 37:16

Well, a life coach. Um and I am someone who has learned to like radically accept myself and is still learning to do that. Like, I think there's always more growth. So I can acknowledge how far I've come in like loving myself, accepting myself, feeling proud of myself. That's something I incorporate as like, oh, I'm proud of myself for doing this, or I'm proud of myself for going after this new opportunity. Um, I talk to myself a lot nicer. I was thinking the other day, like, who do you like the most that you can spend like a bunch of days with, you know, and not get sick of them? And I was like, me. The answer is me. You know, and this is coming from someone who didn't like to be alone before. Like I felt uncomfortable being alone. I was like, I need a buddy, I need a buddy to go to the grocery store, I need a buddy to go on a hike. If you can't hike, I'm not gonna go because I don't want to go by myself. So this is a big shift for me. So I would say I'm someone who's like confident, getting more and more confident every day, you know, and continuing to like grow and expand my own capacity for what I want to create. And I'm a very lucky person because I read that book.

SPEAKER_05 38:53

Okay, let's let's go let's go external.

SPEAKER_02 38:57

Wait, I have a oh, wait, okay, what's external?

SPEAKER_05 38:59

Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

I was just gonna add that I also have a dog, and so my dog is very much part of my personality, and I have like a strong group of friends and family. So I'm definitely someone who values connections and relationships and dogs.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

My dog specifically.

SPEAKER_05 39:20

Your dog, your dog specifically. Okay, let's go external. Okay, so if you if you had a kid, for example, if you had a kid right now, say it's a grown kid, maybe it's like whatever age, maybe it's 15 or 16, whatever. We're gonna pick that number. And that kid is lost. Okay. For some way, the kid ran away, and you're gonna get uh police officers, a couple of your neighbors, a couple of your friends to help you go find the kid. But they don't know what your kid looks like. So you gotta describe your kid to them. That means probably gotta tell people the characteristics, features, so forth and so on. But no, this kid would be like your ideal client, right? But you gotta but you're gonna describe that kid to the person, you can help you find it. So now if you had a breakdown to somebody's listening right now, like, hey, my kid is this person, help me find my kid. How will you describe your kid?

SPEAKER_02 40:09

Are you trying to get me to describe myself?

SPEAKER_05 40:11

No, I'm just getting describe your ideal client.

SPEAKER_02 40:15

I would say right now, I think because I'm I'm about a year and a half into my business, I still have a broad range of who I work with. And I think that'll probably narrow down naturally as time goes on. Um, but I would say I work with both men and women, usually like Gen Z, millennial, and then a little bit of that generation, like kind of the older millennials, whatever's right above that. You're just eating over there snacking.

SPEAKER_05 40:45

I am, I am. I'm listening. Pardon me, pardon me for eating. Sometimes my lip my mother get a little dry when I talk, so I gotta have my fruits freshly available. Freshly available.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

You're funny. Okay, so so yeah, I would say men or women, and there's not as much of like a look or uh a specific characteristic about them, but it's really like where their mind is at and what they want in their life. So I'm looking for someone who is, you know, they're they're at like the survival level, you know, but they want more than that. Maybe they're they their life looks good on paper, but it doesn't feel fulfilling or it doesn't feel that good. Like I was, um, I'll stick to the stick, stay focused. Um yeah, your life looks good, but maybe it doesn't feel that good. You feel like something's missing, you're feeling stuck, you want to create this bigger life for yourself. You know you can have more, you know you can show up as the person you want to be, but you're just not doing that. And you're also wanting to make a change. So wanting to make a change, knowing that you don't have to know what exactly you want, but just knowing you want something different.

SPEAKER_05 42:12

So, right now, let me ask about your clients. You got current so many clients. You do you have a favorite client that you you won't say the person's name, but you have a favorite client?

SPEAKER_02 42:19

No, I love all my clients.

SPEAKER_05 42:22

Come on.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

No, I do. I really do.

SPEAKER_05 42:25

I'm really you love you you love all of them, but do you have any of them that you're like, I would like 10 more of these kind of clients because it's so the I would honestly like 10 more of each of them. Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

I know they're all wonderful. Um and you know, I think there's a theme, and the theme is probably around like stepping into their authentic selves and going after the things they want, choosing themselves first instead of making decisions based on what everyone else is doing or what everyone else thinks they should do. Getting out of like these situations where they feel stuck or just foggy or not clear, and they are ready to create something more intentionally that they can actually feel happy about and excited about and like fulfilled by.

SPEAKER_05 43:14

You know, I speak, I I wrote this down this morning too. Life will charge you a lot for what you don't know more than what you know. Does it spark anything for you?

SPEAKER_02 43:25

Let's have some more context behind the quote. Where was it? Who was it by?

SPEAKER_05 43:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:28

Where'd you read it?

SPEAKER_05 43:29

Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry about who's by. It just came to my mind I was thinking this morning. But the reason why it's a quote by Asher.

SPEAKER_02 43:37

Or is it a quote or is it a quote by Claude?

SPEAKER_05 43:40

Oh no, no, no, no. That's uh that's some of these thoughts. I'm listening, I hear things like, oh, this idea pops in my head. But the reason why it pops in my head, because I realize that when you're thinking about charging people, right? When you're charging somebody for service, you're really charging for what they don't know. Because if they know it, they wouldn't be here asking you to do it for them. So I realize that a lot of the price to put on things. We're paying for what we don't know.

SPEAKER_02 44:01

Well, here's an interesting shift of perspective on that. Because I think that they're not paying me to do it for them. That's definitely not the type of coaching that I offer. And it's not like mentorship or direction of like, okay, do A, B, and C and then D E and F. It's not that. It's very unique to their situation and what they bring to the table. And I'm more guiding them into coming back to their own internal wisdom. So they do have the answers. They just maybe don't know how to get the answers and connect with their body in a way that allows them to like know themselves. So yeah, it's like coming back to trusting yourself, trusting, yes, I do have the answers. I can figure this out. And I, as the coach, am there to support them in that process, to use the tools to help them get back into their body, to work with the subconscious mind, to see the patterns that are kind of happening beneath the surface that they don't realize that keep repeating, pointing out the blind spots, asking the questions that make them think about things in a different light. You know, you might be running a script over and over and over again in your head, and you need someone to ask a specific question to get you kind of like a pattern interrupt to get you out of that script.

SPEAKER_05 45:30

This episode is sponsored by Live Channel Marketplace, the own for hearters who own their stories and their business. Your book, your merch, your audience. One storefront, you keep 80%, you own your customer list, you build a relationship, real relationship with the readers. If that sounds like the way you want to run your business, visit lifechainwisdom.com. Okay, here's my follow-up question. Are you a spiritual person?

SPEAKER_02 45:59

You know, I'm becoming more spiritual.

SPEAKER_05 46:02

What caused that? Don't say luck.

SPEAKER_03 46:05

I wasn't going to. Luck.

SPEAKER_02 46:13

No, I'm just kidding. Um okay. I would say the deep internal work, the meditation, and the journaling I've been doing, so like reconnecting with myself, I feel like has allowed me to connect with my soul. And I don't think I was very connected with that before. People would say soul, and I was like, okay, what? Like, what are you talking about? You know, I don't even know what that is. So I think now I'm finally getting this concept of like, oh, there's us, we all have a soul, and what that is, like kind of our true selves, our essence, who we really are, our spirit, you know. I think people use those words kind of interchangeably sometimes. But yeah, I would say getting to know myself more and doing that like deep reflection through my journaling and my meditation practice.

SPEAKER_05 47:08

And sometimes I think people have different colors where they start really tapping into the more spiritual side. Right. But what I've been l noticing is like when you when you go through a really, really hard, hard period of your life, like life punching the face, and you're like, wait a minute, why my face keep being the punching bag, right? And when life hits you a certain way, then you you end up having psychological misalignment. They feel like you're off your axis. And then oftentimes from that place, uh, people reach for spirituality. They reach for there's there's gotta be more. When I say spiritual, there's gotta be more to me that I'm not seeing, that I'm missing, why I keep running into these things, feeling this kind of way, and something that caused them to be more spiritual. Often more spiritual means that you're more internal about you.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

Yeah, yeah. And I do think that's kind of a very common story for people. That's not what happened to me when I was going through like a hard time and I was like feeling like, oh, life is just bashing me in the head, it's one thing after another, you know? And I felt I dealt with a lot of like mental health um situations. And I did not reach for spirituality then. It was only once I started like healing and was like kind of reaching for more expansion that I came into spirituality. So I think that's just a different another way to look at it. Um but I think both are however you find it, I think is the right way for you.

SPEAKER_05 48:41

What is your favorite thing to do on your off time, by the way? Don't say snowboarding.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

Why?

SPEAKER_05 48:51

You live in California. You live in California.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

I know my favorite thing to do on my off time right now is honestly hanging out with my dog outside and my friends. If I can do those three at the same time, it's the best.

SPEAKER_05 49:07

That's very simple. A simple life is an awesome life. Let's get back to our list. Let me get a few more. I want to get your thoughts on before we get to the wrap-up area here.

SPEAKER_00 49:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 49:18

Here's one make decisions based on what feels true for you, not just on what other people will approve of you. I like this. The flip side is build your life around other people's expectations, and you may end up successful on the outside and deeply unfulfilled on the inside. That it does that trigger anything for you right now. You want to share any stories or not?

SPEAKER_02 49:43

I think I hear that a lot with like my clients and people that I talk to who are considering coaching. Is like they, you know, maybe their parents want them to go to medical school, and they're like, this is just not for me. I just know it. I think that's a common story. For me, there was a point in time I had bought a condo with my ex at the time. And I mean, sorry, we were together, we were dating, we bought a condo, and then we were going to renovate it. And I was kind of like, okay, I did all these things. I have the job that has the retirement plan, you know, I have a steady paycheck, I have a savings account, I have a partner who I've been with for a while. I have now a home, you know, I purchased something, and I was like, but I'm still not enjoying things. So I think I kind of was doing the script or the path that people say get a partner, you know, get a house, get married, have kids. We just hadn't gone to those second two yet, which is good. Um but uh yeah, I was like, I'm just not enjoying things. I'm not happy, I'm not fulfilled, I know there could be something more. And I started feeling this like pull of like, gosh, there's gotta be something more to life. And I started thinking, if I just kind of keep living this way, doing like the safe route, I'm gonna start having regrets. Like I already do have regrets. I just read my old journal entry, so that's why I know this song. It was like in 2022.

SPEAKER_05 51:25

You're a writer. Like let's say, are you a reader or a writer? Are you booked?

SPEAKER_02 51:30

Oh, um, I read a lot. I think I am somewhat of a writer.

SPEAKER_05 51:36

Somewhat of a writer.

SPEAKER_02 51:38

Working to be more of a writer.

SPEAKER_05 51:40

Working to be more of a writer. Okay. I think you're a great writer. I think you're underselling yourself.

SPEAKER_03 51:46

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_05 51:47

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I read I read the stuff. You sent it back to me. I was like, this girl can write, she got ideas. Okay. Here's another one. Follow what feeds the lines for you, not just what keeps other people comfortable. Did we just read that one? No, that wasn't wrong.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

That one sounds familiar. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 52:02

Yeah. Okay. And the flip side of that is if your choice are shaped by other people's opinion, don't be surprised when your life stopped feeding like your own. I think give me a story.

SPEAKER_02 52:13

Okay, yeah, a story came to mind right away. So I lived in Vail for nine years, as you know. And when I was leaving, when I was thinking about moving out of Vale, everyone was like, What? You know, I especially when I decided I'm moving to LA, people would say, Oh man, why do you have to do that? And I'm like, I'm choosing to do that. You know, and they just thought that was the weirdest thing. And people who live in Vale, it's a beautiful place. It's like a vacation. You know, that's a common thing people say, like, my life is your vacation. There's a lot of pride in that. And Vale is very beautiful. There's lots of things to do, there's lots of outdoor activities, tons of adventures. And I enjoyed all that. And it wasn't like what I needed, or I needed more than that, I guess I would say. Because I still love all that stuff, but I needed more than that. So if I just listen to other people's opinions, I mean, just like to be candid about the race thing. If I listen to other white people's opinions about Baal, they're like, this is the best place on earth. This is so wonderful. Why would you ever want to leave here? Like, this is you have everything. If I listen to that, you know, and I did listen to that for a while, it wasn't feeling like my own life. Like they were really happy. And I was seeing that these um things around us were making them happy, but it wasn't making me happy. So I think I really had to listen to my own gut and my own. I had to stop asking people for their opinions and like stop listening to the opinions that were unsolicited. Because once I decided I'm moving to LA, here's why. Almost everybody was like, ew, why would you do that? Ew, LA sucks. And I was like, okay, why are you telling me that? But LA is actually such a good fit for me. And I never would have known that if I only listened to like these other people and made choices based on what they thought was best.

SPEAKER_05 54:20

I'm feeling I'm sensing that you were tropical girl, but been hiding it.

SPEAKER_02 54:24

A tropical girl.

SPEAKER_05 54:25

I like the tropics. I'm thinking you might like the tropics.

SPEAKER_02 54:28

Honestly, yes, yes. My mom's family's Jamaican, also.

SPEAKER_05 54:31

So well, I'm glad you're in the sunny sunny side of uh the West Coast, enjoying the shades of the beautiful side of the West Coast.

SPEAKER_02 54:44

Um yes, but I did move for the diversity and the warmth and the water and the different vibe, different pace, more culture.

SPEAKER_05 54:53

Yeah, more culture. More culture. A sister was missing more culture. I know. Let me ask you this then. You've been in Vale, because I I I'm a I'm a lover of Vale, by the way. Vail is a it's awesome. What was some of your favorite things that you love to do there when you were saying that? Tell me about Vale, that experience before you decided to move.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

Yeah, so that's I mean, because there was a lot of hard parts, but there was also a lot of good parts. And I did a lot of really cool stuff. I did a lot of stuff that made me be like, oh, I'm so cool. Well, you know, like I would go mountain biking regularly. I worked at a nonprofit that was supporting get more, getting more girls, especially Latina girls, which is another population in Vale, out on mountain biking to find empowerment through biking. And it's called the cycle effect. I'll shout them out. Um so I mountain biked a lot, and I, you know, especially in the fall, you have like the golden aspen leaves. It's so beautiful. Like all the trails are beautiful. You have clean Colorado air, you know, like a blue sky. So that's just like picturesque. I hiked a lot. I went on like a thing in Colorado is to hike 14ers, so mountains that are over 14,000 feet. And you just are so high up, you have such an incredible view of the things around you. And just I think being that high up, the combination of the hiking and exerting yourself and being like, I didn't think I could do it, but I did it, and now I'm at the top and I'm tired, but I'm happy, and it's beautiful. I think having those experiences was really, really special. I went camping a lot, so like lots of nights seeing the stars and shooting stars. I love shooting stars, and snowboarding, obviously, which is how we met.

SPEAKER_05 56:59

You're pretty nice on the board, by the way, so you know.

SPEAKER_02 57:02

Thank you. Yeah, so snowboarding, I mean, I literally lived across the street from the Vale Mountain. So I would just hop on the bus, go to Vale, snowboard for a few hours, and then go to work. And so that's like kind of a cool lifestyle, you know. And I was a snowboard instructor for a time. That was fun. And um, you know, I had a bunch of friends who are snowboarders, and we would all like go out and ride together and find the best powder stashes. So those were all really fun things. Oh, and I would take my dog split boarding. So we would like kind of go up the hill with our split board, and then we'd I'd ride down and Skylar would run down after me. That was one of my favorite things to do.

SPEAKER_05 57:48

Ooh. Yeah. And split boarding.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Mm-hmm. And then the last thing is um, I would go like stand-up paddleboarding on the rivers. So a little bit of white water, stand-up paddleboarding, some some small rapids, and Skylar would be on the front of my board. And it was just such a fun day in the sun. And just like a little bit of thrill, a little bit of adventure. So yeah, I had a lot more outdoor adventure activities in Colorado. There's like always something to do. Um, so it's definitely things I still want to do, you know, whether that's on vacation or however I can do it, it just doesn't happen as frequently now.

SPEAKER_05 58:28

Okay, I got a few questions here. First one, how old are you?

SPEAKER_02 58:32

33.

SPEAKER_05 58:33

33. Would you say you've lived a very, very rich, awesome, beautiful life so far?

SPEAKER_02 58:39

I think there was a time where I wouldn't have said that. Now, in these past few years of like being more conscious, doing more internal work, being more present in my life, I'm like, yeah. The answer is yes. You know, like I've lived a rich and beautiful life. I can appreciate things from the past, and I'm being more present in each moment. So I'm really like savoring all the days. Um, but there was definitely a time, I'm not gonna lie, where I was like, I feel like I blinked and six years went by and I don't know what happened. And then there was a time where I was like, I feel like a a normal person who enjoys things like 20% of the time. And like this 20% of the time, Alana, I would I like her, but that's not very often. So at that time, no, I did not think I was living a rich and joyful life.

SPEAKER_05 59:45

But now I have what's that mindset shift that caused you to see the way you see it now?

SPEAKER_02 59:51

I think it really comes down to like seeing myself as a victim of my circumstances and like the world is happening to me versus I can co-create what I want with the world and the people around me, and that I can take more responsibility for the experiences that I have in my life. So if I don't like a situation, I can take responsibility to figure out a way to change it, you know, with with what's in my control. Obviously, I can't just flip a switch and change the political climate, but focusing on what's in my control, that gives me more peace, I guess, and more more choice, more autonomy. It doesn't feel like life is heavy. It feels like I'm flowing, I'm choosing things that feel good to me.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:47

I think that's what a lot of people want, Alana.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:50

Mm-hmm. And I will say, I did learn all that and gain these skills through coaching. So through my work with Tamara, the Hendricks Institute, and now this is like what I teach and support other people in. So teaching those tools and supporting them in this like process of totally shifting your mindset and experiencing your life in a different way.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:14

I'm going back to Vale.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:18

Could you imagine yourself doing a retreat with your amazing clients in Vale?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:23

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:24

Hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:26

I was just gonna be honest.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:28

Tell me why. Tell me why.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:30

I think I mean who knows what'll happen in the future, but like you said, I'm a tropical girl. So the first retreat I picture is in a tropical location.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:40

In a tropical location, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:43

Hmm. Tropical versus fall, spring, summer, winter in Vale. You couldn't see it happening?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:52

Tropical.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:53

Tropical. Say no more. Tropical it is. Let's go to Jamaica. Let's go, let's go to Costa Rica, let's go to Hawaii, let's go somewhere. All right, I got you. I got you.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:03

I'm just I'm just doing it. I'm looking to see, I'm I'm gonna see where your where your where your hearts, your heart's going. Yeah, tropical.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:09

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:10

No, why tropical? Why do you think you're gonna be able to manifest, elevate, whatever you do with your spirit and your energy in the tropical more than D.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:19

I think the sun is where I feel like the most alive. I just like I love the sun. It really you a solar woman?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:26

You a solar woman, you gotta get charge up.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:28

Maybe. I'm a fire sign, I'm an Aries. I don't know if that relates to the sun, but I it makes me feel like just light and warm and like, you know, physically and energetically. And it's what like is calling me right now. I think going back to Vale reminds me of this really stagnant, heavy time in my life. I actually went back to visit, and I'm not even kidding, as we were driving the road into Vale, like my chest just like sank, and I just felt this like this heavy feeling. And it stayed with me the whole weekend. You know, I think I I still had fun. I saw like my, you know, some friends and then went snowboarding, but that kind of like heaviness, it was an immediate shift. And even my voice changed. Like my voice started being more like, oh, and then we just have to like it was more flat, more like monotone. It was very interesting. So I'm not ready to go back to Vail for like, you know, I think eventually I can unhook that energetic source. I'm very lucky in that I have some friends who live in Japan, and it actually is cheaper to just fly to Japan than figure out places to stay in Vail, which is so expensive.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:52

Here's my challenge for you, if you don't mind.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:55

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:56

My challenge is I think you should write about that block of period all your life, that veil book.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:06

And process and figure out what kind of artistic storytelling you can pull out of that, because I feel like there's a lot of juice in there, a lot of sauce in there you can pull out of it. And maybe going back then, write about it and invert that experience to see what you can convert it, transform it into. It's a big block of period of your life that you have this feeling about.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:27

Yeah, it is. Yeah, what what would be the most interesting point as a reader?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:33

Reader? Here's my okay, I like the question. So inside of the the places that we that costs us the most to collect has the most price to pay to other people. So what I mean is I went to a computer in my life where it was so hard. And while I was in it, I had no idea what was going to work. Why is this all why all these things, right? These things doesn't make sense. I can't really I can't even map them what makes sense of them. But because I was in them. But now that I got the high inside 2020 and I'm a grown-up person now, and I have a whole lot of skills and tools, life gave me this big treasure trove. I collected it. Inexperience I collected it, but now I'm experienced now. And can I take that thing with the skills I have today and go back and get mean make some mean different meaning from it? And that is a powerful part of your life. Is taking that, make meaning from it. Because you're you're you're a grown-up person, you're educated, you got skills, you got no tools. Back then you didn't have the tools, but you've got the tools now. But what will you do with that experience now with the tools you have today? And that is what people are like, oh my god, how do you flip that? How do you make meaning of that, Alana? And now you have a system of how you did it. That becomes your that becomes your new signature.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:48

So it's kind of like you're you're saying process it and share the lessons with others.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:55

Yes, mom.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:58

Oh gosh. Um Yes. Yes. Yeah. And I think that's what I've been trying to start doing on a smaller scale, just with like my monthly newsletter and um my social media posts and sharing a little bit more of my story.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:20

Here's the other part of it too. Because maybe some of that stuff you kind of it's like a boulder, right? It's not a pebble. You want to make it a pebble. That's a goal. But it's it's heavy. But now when you go back there and you you start pulling it apart, now when you start, when you find an experience, like something you want to talk about in your new practice now. Like, you know what? That story that I I experienced, I think it's gonna be a good justification for this. But now I gotta transform that story though. Because it's not transform, it's a boulder. It's a boulder, it's too heavy, nobody wants to carry it, not even yourself. That's why you parked it. But you make it a pebble, they're like, Alana, how do you do that? I want to do that with my my own boulder too. And that becomes how you start creating your system. And with that, my friend, we can wrap up with my last few questions here. My my my game, my little game I got. You ready for it? Yeah. Unless you unless you got other thoughts about what I just said just now.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:10

With the boulder, I guess I will say, through the coaching and through like somatic work and really getting in tune with your body, that's another way, you know, you can kind of take your boulder and make it smaller. And there's an exercise that, you know, like I've got been guided through it and now learned how to guide other people. But you're taking something, you're kind of shaping it with your hands, like whatever your issue is. So let's say it's like this whole veil situation. I'm shaping it with my hands. And as you're being guided through the process, I it's kind of like a meditation. I've seen people take that big thing, and then it's like a little ball, and then they just throw it over there. Or, you know, maybe it becomes like a squishy, you know, someone had one that they it became a squishy peep, you know, and it was like more malleable than they thought. And so your area of expertise is like storytelling and writing the books. And yeah, that just made me think of another way that I help people move their boulders, transform their boulders.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:21

Uh we all want we want we all want a pebble we can put in our pockets.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:25

Exactly. Or throw it throw it over there.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:28

Or throw it over there. I can toss it now. Yeah. Okay. Wrap-up questions.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:32

Okay, let's do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:33

Let's do it. All right. First one here. Oops, oops, oops. Let me get my screen right. A TV show or film you keep coming back to lately. Tell me about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:43

I've kind of stopped watching TV. Um and I don't watch a lot of movies, so that feels boring. I know. Oh, I did though, I did watch a movie on YouTube though, that another coach friend sent me, and it was like the Wayne Dyer movie. It's free on YouTube. I can't remember what it's called, but it was nice. It was about I I like a lot of Wayne Dyer's quotes, so Me too. That was a good movie.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:06

It's one of the few personal when I worked early when I started my new transformation life. I used to listen to a lot of his stuff. Yeah. Um, three books you would recommend to a friend.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:16

The Alchemist. I love that one. The Big Leap, which is by Gay Hendricks, who I've been talking about. And the third one, honestly, it's probably conscious luck. I'm gonna recommend that for you specifically because I want to know what you think about it.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:37

Okay, conscious luck. I would I'll add that I'll add it to my list. Okay. Uh-huh. What about a product or tool that's been a game changer for you lately?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:47

Product or tool, journaling. I've been writing the morning pages. I only read the first couple chapters of the artist's way, but one of the concepts is the morning pages, and you write like three pages, stream of consciousness. So I'd say that's a tool, not a technology tool, which is I'm sure how you were thinking of it.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:08

Um, nope, whatever works for you. Whatever works for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:12

So yeah, writing the three pages, stream of consciousness, that journaling tool.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:18

My last question. A community you'll be finding a lot of value in lately.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:26

I'm gonna shout out my friends from in LA because we have like this 12-person group chat, and it's really cute. We all share updates. Sometimes people will just check in, like, hey, how's everyone's Monday going? How's the week going? And we'll we'll do a bunch of stuff together. We all met through Soul Cycle, but it's not your typical soul cycle. It's like black community, diverse soul cycle. We work out together, we celebrate together, we celebrate everyone's birthdays, different like work accomplishments. And so there's just a lot of like lifting each other up and supporting each other and cheering each other on. And that's been really cool to be part of this like bigger group of people and navigate through, yeah, just being part of like a friend group and what that means to show up and then also to be supported in that way is really cool.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:20

Alana, thank you so much for showing up today, my friend, and sharing your wisdom. You got a lot of wisdom to share, so you know that. Thank you. And your story is powerful, and I think you're adding value to the world based on your new passion, the things you're focused on right now, as you continue to focus on that. Any last thoughts? What are your biggest takeaway from this conversation?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:43

Hmm, I've enjoyed our conversation. I always love talking with you, Asher. So it's a great um, great to reconnect. And thank you for giving me the space to share my story a bit more and asking questions that really got me thinking.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:00

All right. The lady liked to think, but she rather feel.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:04

We'll do both. Both are good.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:08

All right, all right. Would that make it an utterly, utterly fantastic week?