SPEAKER_01 0:00

We spend very little time harnessing the power of your voice for you. A lot of times we adapt a fear-based value system, and here comes religion as the perfect garment to put on to make you feel safe. Hey, here's the instructions. This is the Bible. Don't lean on to your own understanding. Come out in community and let us tell you what the word of God says. And now get hooked up to these communities within this larger community so you don't lean on to your own understanding so you don't lose sight, right? And so you very earlier told, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't listen to yourself. You need somebody to do that for you for good or bad. But if the outcome is to help you feel safe and not take risks and not lean on your own faith within you, you'll find yourself doing and being available and overfunctioning for the greater community. And you lose sight of who you are in the midst of the community.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Today's guest is Joshua Fields, known to some as Jay Fields, founder of the Listening Room. Between the ages 10 and 12, Joshua's whole week revolved around church, Sunday school, night service, Monday prayers, Tuesday's Bible study, choir rehearsal on Saturday, every day accounted for. He didn't know it yet, but he was training, learning how to hold a room, how to move a crowd with nothing but his voice, watching his father, a minister, do the same thing from the pulpit. Years later, that same instinct became something else entirely. A room where a stranger from Brazil, who would never heard the album playing barely spoke English, turned his phone off and said, his mind started traveling somewhere beyond the screen. A 20-year-old who felt anxious the moment he was asked to put his phone away and stayed with it anyway, because something on the other side of that discomfort was worth reaching. Today we're talking about what you refused to interrupt and what that says about what you actually love. Welcome, Joshua Fields to the Memories of Millions Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

That's what they call you, right? Yeah, that's one of the that's one of the uh the names that the the streets know me by.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

The streets. Hey, listen, listen. We we better chat it up. And I have this theme that I set up because I'm gonna run through a bunch of questions with you and get some some of your thoughts and uh and ideas. Um, it's about what you refuse to interrupt. But you can tell what someone loves by what they refuse to interrupt. I love a theme that you've been working on too, by the way. It's about the listening thing. And we're gonna be to talk about that because here's the thing that I discover about the listening thing. I'm gonna start with a story first and then we're gonna jump into everything. But you know what? I realize that listening to books versus reading books, I listen better because I'm less distracted when I when I watch versus when I listen, when I listen versus when I watch. So I know that I learn better when I when I listen. And you can ambush me when I'm watching something and get my mind chasing the rabbits. But when I'm listening, I learn better. So I realize that listening is the way to go for me. You can I can focus, I can focus very good when I'm listening. So we're gonna talk about listening too in a way because I know that's something that you're passionate about. But when you think about listening something versus watching it, what pops in your head when you think about that? Listening versus watching.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

You know, I I think that, well, I'm I know that we listen, you know, there's different layers to listening, right? There's listening to understand, there's intuitive listening. You know, I think even as as coaches, even that being a part of our background, how you decide to hold space for someone with your heart and your mind are very different. And when you're seeing something, there's an opportunity to use what you're seeing to look for and hear what's not necessarily coming at you that's distracting. So specifically, when specifically, as I think about that, if I give it just a concrete example, when you create the conditions to listen, the experience lands much deeper for you when you can minimize things pulling your attention away. If you can just lock in and be connected with the person in front of you, meaning, like, my phone is off. So I'm reading this book called Stolen Focus. And it gives some of the um the scientific data behind creating the conditions that help people absorb information. And one of those things is they had did this study, they found the call, the average college student, 19 to 21, their attention span is only 19 seconds. Age-wise. Well, the the average attention span for an office employee is three minutes. When you're in your flow and you've you know you've removed all the distractions and you're locked into the thing that you're working on, and you reach this flow state. The book says if you were distracted or pulled out of your flow state, it would take you another 23 minutes just to get back to being locked in in your flow state, right? And again, all this has to do with whether you're watching something or listening to something with your ears, depending on what your outcome or your intent is for what you're trying to get out of the experience. And if it's truly to walk away with transformation, which ultimately is why we lend our ear and give our attention to a thing, is I'm looking for this thing to transform where I think I want to be, where I and then where I'm headed. But this experience, this vehicle allows me to tap into the thing that's gonna transform my mind, my mind, my heart, my body, my soul, whatever it is, whatever level, but I have to create the conditions around me to be able to truly surrender to that experience. So a long-winded answer to your question, but these are the things that I start thinking about uh when we start talking about whether we're watching something or just or hearing something with our ears, it takes focus, uninterrupted focus at that to truly reap the benefits of what it is that you're trying to be transformed by.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Man, I love that answer by the way. And I think what I'm gonna do is we're gonna come back to that. Okay. But before before we get into that, I'm gonna I'm gonna go back to my I like two questions I normally ask when people come on my podcast here, because I want to get the idea, I want to get the story behind it. And question number one is between age 10 to 12, where were you in the world? What was happening for you in the world, and what was happening inside of you in that space of time for you. So if you take us back when you're well 10 to 12 years old, I'm not sure if you you thought thought about that much, but I would love to know what was happening for you.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

Yeah, so I was a church kid, so I was probably on my way to church or leaving church to get ready to go back the next day, right? And I Sunday school, church service on Sunday, back for night service Sunday night, Monday night prayer, Tuesday was Bible study, Wednesday was family prayer, Thursday was youth night, Friday, Friday night service, and then I'm at choir rehearsal on Saturday. This was my life from age before I could even remember, probably up to I was 18. And so I think about the lessons that I learned in the regimen, right? Regardless if I'm deeply connected to that belief system today or not, what I learned is a chance to get become uncomfortable standing in front of an audience, speaking on a topic, and learning how to get crowds to be galvanized by my words. I knew what to say, we knew the buzzwords. So I was really learning an operating system for Joshua to be Joshua, but it looked like, you know, being uncomfortable and learning how to develop my public speaking skills in a way that would create emotional, an emotional connection to the words that I was using. And this has played well for me throughout the rest of my life, whether I'm on podcasts, doing a keynote speech, hosting a listening room, being an MC or DJ in front of an audience or facilitating a workshop. I learned at that those ages between 210 and 12 how to move a crowd. My dad was a minister, so I got to watch him up close and personal use the emotional part of words to captivate an audience and get people to believe in something that was bigger than themselves. And so, anyway, that's what comes up for me when I hear uh that that question. That's where I was at. Yeah, I was at where you were at probably in the church service. That was probably in the church service somewhere. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

I'm glad you're enjoying the podcast. Before we continue, I have a gift for you. Since 2016, I have read and listened to over 900 books so far. It's gonna be a thousand. And I organized them into a library and handpicked the top 100 books I recommend to my clients, my friends, and the people in my community. Books on storytelling, language, and personal growth, and building something from your own life. If you're watching this podcast and you're looking for your next great read, this library is your gift. It is free. Go to AsherAlbertWright.com and check out the One Thought Book Challenge. This is my gift to you. Now back to the conversation. A lot of us grew up in the congregation, the evangelistic energy of our forebearers. And it made me think about this other question, and that's about what is the kindest thing someone has done for you either recently or over your lifetime? You can probably think of lifetime or recently, whichever you want to pick, but what is the kindest thing someone ever done for you?

SPEAKER_01 10:04

The first answer, the person that popped in my head was my wife. And specifically around the kindest thing that she does and will continue to do is listen to me. Yeah, without an agenda, without you know, and therapy has helped us have this open line of communication. Um, because oftentimes when people are listening, they're listening for is what you're saying, like, how does that, how's that relevant to me? Right? What you're hearing is that is it gonna harm me? Is it gonna hurt me? Is it gonna, you know, where am I at? We take a lot of things personal. And a lot of times, my wife and I've had to practice this, you know, if there are things that I want to experience or do, or you know, even how even this journey I'm on as a creative, right? Building these experiences, it takes somebody that understands you because they've lit not just hear you, they've listened to what you're trying to do with your life, your your life force, and they separate, making it about them. Well, how is this gonna is this gonna impact me? This is this, well, how what what does this mean for me? Not that that conversation is not there, but to have somebody give you the space because they've heard you, they understand you, they're much more willing to take a risk with you, accept you for where you are, because they're inquisitive and curious about what you're what who you are as a person. And we lose that a lot of times because we make a lot of things, and I'm gonna make a general assumption here, but oftentimes our buy-in level is well, how is that gonna affect me? We make it about ourselves before we let the other person just be seen and having a partner that understands this isn't about me, this is about what they are, and right and be able to return that favor, you get much more accomplished because the lines of communication make space for the container to expand beyond just, I'm just listening for the part that affects me. And if it doesn't, if and if I don't like what I'm hearing, I'm completely shut off to it. Now I've shut off to your idea and I'm shut this person off because I'm not interested in hearing what they have to say because whatever they're saying might not be what I want to hear. And so the kindest thing we can do is be clear, but you also have to have somebody willing to listen to you so you can be clear in your communication, so you can expand the relationship beyond. Well, I'm gonna play small here. I'm not gonna ask for that, I'm not gonna mention that because this made this and that made that. And so now we're living this very surface level relationship that doesn't have a lot of depth because we're too worried about stepping on each other's toes, not saying the right thing, you know, being rejected, right? These are really, these are really basic human fears. If I'm fully expressed to the people that I feel or I want to have safety with, will this alter our relationship? Will they turn me off? Will they cut me off? Will they not like me anymore? And so we spend a lot of our time, and again, nothing wrong with it, but we spend a lot of time checking for safety to be ourselves. And if we run up against a situation where we're not, we immediately retreat and play small. And you're not gonna find the people that love you on a deeper level or that want to support your business or whatever, if you're constantly playing small so you don't do damage or take up too much space, and you you withdraw, you avoid confrontation. And um, you know, in short, I just believe the more fully expressed you can be to the world, the easier it is for people to find you. And the people that find you can really anchor and lock in with you so you can move forward together without judgment and go do the amazing thing that you've been sent here to do because our time is limited, we don't have forever. So spend it being more of you than spending it being less of you in hopes that you'll be accepted and not rejected. So, anyway, that's that's yeah, the kindest thing my partner I've done has, my wife and I have done is allowed ourselves to be as fully expressed as we can be. Um, and that comes with being honest and transparent.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

If you're enjoying this podcast right now, I've launched a platform, MemoSemillions.com, where I help authors, former authors, or people that want to be authors, write their book, publish their book, format their book, edit their book. It's a whole one-stop shop for your book journey. So go there to memosemin.com and check it out and see you on the inside. And with that, says we're gonna play the maxim game. Okay. No, the the maxim game is where I would I would read off a good line, right? And I have the inversion of it, and I would love it go goes after storytelling. So I would love for you to pull out some stories in your history and your past, um, either stories or vision, one of the two, right? Just kind of wrap into this, into this maxim game. So I'm gonna I'm gonna read the first one here, and I would love to get your your your what whatever pops in your head, I want you to share that with us. And the first one is you can tell what someone loves by what they refuse to interrupt. An inversion of that is flip it over. Somewhere a friendship is still waiting on the call you decided not to take.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

What pops into my head on a personal level? Yeah. You know, I the first thing that comes up is um I had a uh my dad used to tease me about this. He was like, Man, all them friends you got, when you guys get older, you're not gonna stay connected like that. And it was like a band of us, there was like six or seven of us, and we all grew up together primarily from middle school on, and we spent, you know, a good part into well into our 30s connected. And for whatever reason, we're not that way anymore. And um, you know, I've heard things through other friends and like, well, so-and-so said this, and so-and-so thinks this about you. And I'm like, Well, I didn't even know I was a prop. Right, there's just been a huge lack of communication between us because we're not listening, we're not holding space to be seen or heard. We've taken maybe communication or even acts against each other personally, and um you know that's led to a lot of silence, a lot of avoidance of some difficult conversations that we probably need to have. And so when you say that, I think of we can say we're busy, we're this, we got that, family life and all that, but we make time for what we want to make time for. And if we have a story in our head that makes us feel like we got to be vulnerable, or maybe I gotta own something, or I'm not ready to confront the answer about why I haven't stayed in a relationship with someone because of I don't like the way it sounds when I say it out loud, and I don't want to be seen as weak, especially among men. We continue to just let that conversation linger in the balance. And then you look up and life has claimed one of us, or we've moved on, and we miss out on the opportunity to to build that relationship, or at least engage in a conversation where we both can feel understood and seen. And so um I think yeah, and you still love those, you still love those people, you want to see them win, and at the same time things do change, people do expand and outgrow each other, and sometimes that conversation and the outgrowing of each other goes unsaid. And people oftentimes will fill that unsaid part with negativity. Oh, they think they this, they think they're that, they didn't got so big or they didn't whatever. And we don't know, we're all typically fighting the same fight around what's our value, who what do we mean to people? And um, so anyway, I can go on and on about that, but that's what comes up for me.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

You know, it's interesting that you mentioned the outgrowing because you know, if if you imagine a car, right? A car has four tires on it, then they got a spare tire in the back. And every now and then you gotta switch out tires, right? So, like people in your life that eventually one of them tires is gonna run low, I gotta switch it out. And that might be your friend, like, hey man, you've came this far with me, but I gotta put on new tires. That means I gotta leave you behind or I gotta move out with move forward without you. But we only have so much room for the people we have to run with, right? You might be my spare tire, I'm gonna I'm gonna pull on you when I need you, but right now I know I got you. You in the back. But the four four tires that's that's keeping me going, or the four people I'm rolling with. So then we gotta we just gotta understand that not everybody gotta come with us at a certain season of my life. Like, hey, you you you you you're my tire for this season. Next season I need new tires. But don't feel a certain kind of way if I don't, if I decide to switch tires out, and people don't feel good about that. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 19:17

I think that again, if we can even get even above it to your point, you're meant to change and evolve, and you can't use the same set of tires that you began to drive your car in. It is the design for change to occur. Every season the leaves fall, cold weather shows up, certain animals hibernate, then the sun comes back out, newness arrives in the springtime, right? Then here comes the summer. There's four seasons. My point is there's four seasons for a reason, and they are not dependent upon if you like it or not. The design is meant to create change and rebirth. We would it would actually be very strange for a tree to maintain the same leaves all year long if it's meant to produce fruit. Well, it has to go through, it has to submit to the process of bringing forth life and renew itself to stay alive. And oftentimes as humans, change is scary. You we we typically value the relationships that have been in our lives for years, but there is also a consequence for that. If you are not adding newness, adding you know, new relationships, keeping fresh. You can fire you can find yourself in friend groups that you've known for years that keep you small because you might got some new thing that you people might see you now in this bigger, more dynamic way. But man, this is so-and-so from from middle school. This is you're doing what the hell? You're just whoever I have you trapped in my head as. And there's nothing wrong with that. But you also need to encounter people that see you where you are today, versus keeping you in a relationship where everybody that's around you remembers when you weren't who you are today. And that comes with, well, I can't see you in your fullness because I got you locked into a 21-year-old, 22-year-old person that is no longer, no longer alive. That person, that version of you is long gone. And oftentimes our parents also fall into this trap with us. You'll always be their son, you'll always be their daughter, and they'll always see you in a certain way. And so you need new inputs of connection and relationship that can see you where you are currently and allow you to expand in front of them. And so, if we're so attached to being held to relationships that hold us back or we feel safe with, even if they're not meant for our full expansion, you'll run into like, oh, I can't be, I can't really be myself here because they think I'm still. Like this, and I don't want to disappoint them, or I don't want to cause any wave, so I'll play small and I'll shrink. And we may do this unconsciously, not that you shouldn't do it or do it, but be aware of what you're doing so you know how much fully expressed you can be, which means you can feel a lightness in just navigating the world as what you have been meant to be for people, versus playing small so you can just be more you can be tolerated when you've fully outgrown who you are to certain people in your life, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Because there's a there's a phrase that says, Having faith in God is easy, having faith in yourself is hard. So when you hear those words, looking back at your journey, yeah, what story pops in your head for that?

SPEAKER_01 22:53

The first thing my buddy Jeremy uh mono, he was my uh really good friend of mine. We we often would tell each other this people much rather be the hero in someone else's story than the hero in their own story. You know, God is a complicated, I'm gonna, I'm gonna don't don't crucify me for this. But God, God can be a complicated concept because some of the belief in something outside of yourself, not that you should not believe in something outside of yourself, but I also want you to connect it back to yourself. It is a way for you to, in many ways, not hold yourself accountable to your own growth and development. Well, it's God's plan. Well, it didn't go right. Well, the devil, you know, the devil messed it up, right? So the devil got in the way. No matter if you're doing something, quote unquote, good or bad, there's always a reason not to take responsibility for it if you say, Well, just wasn't meant to be. God didn't want it to happen. Well, maybe your discipline got in your way. Maybe your lack of having courageous conversations is getting in your way. So we'll look for a God to move a mountain, but he asks you to have the faith of a mustard seed if we're gonna play this out. Because the faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain. It didn't say Mount Everest, it didn't specify how big the mountain was. It was your faith, meaning faith in your ability, because you're complete. There's nothing missing. But if I tell me, if I tell myself something's missing, I don't have what I don't have what it takes to make it. If something gets in the way, it's the devil. If I can't get it done right, my lack, my I have a lack of faith in God, right? And so we keep giving ourselves all these outs to be doing nothing. The empowering message is your faith moves the mountain. So if the mountain isn't moving, what's going on with your faith in you? Well, then you got to sit with that. Well, what's getting in my way? Because now we're getting into what's causing you not to achieve the things that you may want to achieve. And ultimately, if we get down to it, you're not listening to yourself. You're distracted by a projection or what someone told you you could be. And so now I serve the, oh, they got a bigger title than mine, and they know more about my life than I do. So let me just listen to them, let me overserve them, let me get this promotion, let me, you know, do whatever I need to do to be seen and heard and received. So I do all these performative measures to get there. And ultimately, if you listen more to yourself about what you need for you, and you weren't as insecure about that, faith is the substance of things hopeful and the evidence of things not seen. And we very rarely give ourselves the credit we need to go execute what we need done for us. God, tell me who I am. Church members, tell me who I am. Who am I? Because it's a little riskier for you to step out there even in the midst of uncertainty and step out there anyway and take the risk. So I look at, you know, Kanye West is a very polarizing figure. But man, is he if he doesn't inspire you? I don't care. I'm not getting in all the antics and the craziness, right? But just on a level of like delusional belief in self, oh, the guy's the guy's top tier, right? And he'll he'll quote faith in God and all the things, but at the end of the day, he knows he's the vehicle to get to his destination.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

So, you know, sometimes I I try to find people to have the faith and the spiritual and the religious conversation with because I'm a firm believer. You know, there's a saying that you need to be in charge, but not in control, right? It's two different things. Like being in control, meaning that I gotta grip on everything, like you gotta control the how, and oftentimes that's that doesn't that it doesn't work that way. You don't control the how, but I'm in charge of my decision making. Yeah, my choice making. I'm in charge. I'm saying this is what I'm in charge of. So sometimes people, because they don't feel like they're in control, they they find a way not to be in charge. Well, I'm in charge of my life, bro. Right? So I'm in charge of me. So going back to the even the question and that question of who am I? Like, who are you? People ask that question, and it's very hard. I love the answer that the barber gives. I am who I am, right? Because in that space of I am who I am, that I say I am, whatever that is, I know that I do not know who I am, meaning that I can be anything if I decided to be. Because when you know something, there's a limitation that you attach to it, right? When you know something is a limitation. So when somebody says the question of who I am isn't a question, you God asks himself, right? If I'm God, I wouldn't ask myself that question because that's a limited question. Right? Who am I? Who are you? Oh, I'm I'm this thing, I'm I'm a battle. Well, that's about that's limited. Why would God want to be, you know what I'm saying? So that's what I think when I think about some of these questions, right? Yeah. So then I go back to what is Asher? I am who I am. Whatever I say am to you, right? Because what I what I am to me doesn't mean the same thing to you, right? What you are to what you think you are doesn't mean the same thing to me. So you can never define me because I'm undefined. That means I can be anything and do anything. So going back to the same question, having faith in God is easy. Having faith in yourself is the hard part. Because if God is in you, then having faith in yourself should be easy too. Yeah. But it's hard.

unknown 28:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

What pops in your head?

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Yeah. If God be for you, who can be against you, right? I some of these scriptures come up from my childhood. And um, you know, there's there's this what other what all what else comes up for me is organized religion and your personal relationship with God, which ultimately is a personal relationship with you because you are connected to the creator. We spend very little time harnessing the power of your voice for you. A lot of times we adapt a fear-based value system, and here comes religion as the perfect garment to put on to make you feel safe. Hey, here's the instructions. This is the Bible. Don't lean on to your own understanding. Come out in community and let us tell you what the word of God says. And now get hooked up to these communities within this larger community so you don't lean on to your own understanding so you don't lose sight, right? And so you very earlier told, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't listen to yourself. You need somebody to do that for you, for good or bad. But if the outcome is to help you feel safe and not take risk and not lean on your own faith within you, you'll find yourself doing and being available and overfunctioning for the greater community. And you lose sight of who you are in the midst of the community. Again, nothing wrong with it. If the outcome is to help you feel like fear and shame or guilt or these things that are part of the human experience, religion attempts to answer that to make people feel like, hey, don't worry about if you don't get it in this lifetime. If you just believe these things, we're gonna get you're gonna get in the buy and buy. And I'm not here to knock the faith journey or the faith community, but there is a very interesting part of that experience that doesn't integrate your voice, what you want to experience, the light that you need to shine that attracts people, right? When we get outside of, is it okay to be me? Is it okay to step out here and take a risk? Right? But the creatives, the entrepreneurs, people that are like, wait a minute, there's there's a call inside of me that's gonna come beyond just everything gonna be neatly packaged because I say I believe in a higher power. Yeah, and you're gonna have to work to be able to create this life or this thing that's in you, and it's not just gonna come on a flowery bed of ease. You have to take a risk to be more of who you are for you, so people have an opportunity to find you and also reject you because you're not for everybody. What profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Well, if you're everything to everybody and everybody speaks well of you, and there's no strife, you're not polarizing, you know, you start to question how genuine the person is. Who are you doing this for? Is it just to be received so you can reduce your fear and anxiety around being rejected, which is oftentimes the experience that we face by trying to be ourselves publicly, right? And so my point in all this is that as you develop the muscle to be more integrated for you, the people that are meant to find the you, you set people free to be more of themselves. And then we can start to really connect on a more deeper, intimate level because we spend less time performing what it means to be who we are, and more time connecting to people that already are on that same frequency and wavelength, and be willing to let those connections go and make room for new connections to help amplify who you're meant to be and who you're and who and the gifts that you are meant to have for uh how you serve others.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

This episode is sponsored by Live Chinamas the Marketplace, the own for artists who own their stories and their business, your book, your merch, your audience. One storefront, you keep 80%, you own your customer list, you build a relationship, real relationship with the readers. If that sounds like the way you want to run your business, visit lifechangingwisdom.com. All right, we're gonna we're gonna transition because I want to ask you about the listening room concept you've been working on, as well as. But before I ask that, I want to I want to tap into this question first about what is it that you are teaching people today, or what's it what is it that you are teaching yourself today when it comes to listening?

SPEAKER_01 32:54

The the biggest lesson is so people often the listening room isn't it is an experience where we use music as the vehicle to help people have deeper, quieter, less distracted conversations with themselves. Now, how we do this is between the music and the prompts that people get in their journals, there's questions that help conjure up thoughts for you to sit with yourself. So the biggest lesson that I've learned is creating the conditions to make that possible. I'm not gonna transform you. I don't have an answer for you, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I am gonna invite people through the listening room. The experience of that is creating the conditions for people to be able to do that for themselves because that's who needs to do it. So I'm gonna ask you to turn your phone off during album playback. I'm gonna ask you that you've heard this album, but I'm gonna ask you to sit with it in silence without doing a bunch of like, hey, it's a party, hey, who's that? You know, we're here to let the music be the vehicle that drives you back here. And so when you submit to an experience that asks you not to perform, to remove and minimize the distractions, all what's left is you and your voice, which is so rare to be able to tap into because you are powerful and complete and enough. The problem is that we have so many distractions that interrupt our thoughts between our mind, body, and soul. We don't spend enough time pulling our own power out of the basement, pulling our own gifting, our own insights from our lived experience up to the light to be consciously considered. Because I got a three-year-old, I got a nine-year-old, I got to get somebody's basketball practice. I don't want to be a bad parent. I want to do differently within how my parents raised me. So I got to be everything to my kids, and you know, I got to make sure that they're in the private schools and they have this and they we got money for that, and we got to go on family vacations. And man, I gotta be excel at my job. I gotta do all these things, all this overfunctioning. Nothing wrong with it. But how do you quietly rebel against a society that's constantly telling you, yeah, still not good enough? Well, you know, so-and-so's doing that. Are your kids doing that? If they're not, they might get left behind. So let me go over function and overwork to try to accomplish this story in my head. That's not real, by the way. But if I believe it to be, I exchange my authenticity, I exchange my vulnerability for performance to be able to continue this show to make sure everybody thinks I'm okay. Look at me, look at what I'm doing, look at what we're achieving, look at where we vacation. And we just spend very little time with ourselves. And so what makes the listening room also powerful is I'm caught, I'm bringing people in to be with self in a community. So when the listening is done, use your journal or not, you've consciously considered your thoughts or not. We have a guided reflection where now everybody that has for the last hour have been with this album, have journaled, have thought, have had this quiet conversation. Now we get to hear from each other. What's come? Oh, damn, you too? Oh man, I don't have to worry about the show. I just get to connect with a human that's on that same wavelength as me. And this doesn't have anything to do with the money you earn, the degrees you have. Just on a human level, I'm overfunctioning for love. You too, huh? Yeah. I just want to be me. I just, you know, there's this, there's this idea I want to have, and I want to bring it to the world. And well, I want to do this. Well, let's connect on that. So we remove the barriers and the things that interrupt human connection. But first, I invite people to connect to themselves. And that process takes some time because there's an urge to want to check your phone and to scroll and to get the thing done and to send the email, whatever it is. But when you come to the listening room, you're saying I can abandon all these distractions just for a moment. Because they're gonna be waiting on you when you get out of there, trust me. But for a moment, I've rebelled against what it means to be distracted, not only from the people in front of me, but being present with myself. I'm going to consciously decide to submit to an experience that allows me to tap in to me and my voice. The music is just the vehicle to get me there. Welcome to the listening room.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

Okay, I hear it. And I like it by the way. I was thinking about the concept of just quiet listening, making the space for people uh to come back to their ears, their hearts, their mind, and find somebody that because I think what's I'm assuming what happened in the process is when when after after the experience happened, you can tell me if I'm off or not, but I'm gonna guess before you tell me, right? Is that I'm sitting here and you agree with how I feel, but mine don't agree with how I think. But when I share how I feel like, oh, I was feeling the same thing, but I might not thought about it the same way you did. So what is the experience that people are having once they sit down quietly, receive the info, receive the beat, the rhythm, and then start sharing? What are you what what what's what's popping up for you for you guys?

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Once the experience has been experienced, oftentimes people describe it as a hug for their nervous system. One guest said they felt like they just left a spa. I've had another person say it felt like I was able to just exit my earth suit for a minute and transcend. This last gentleman, he was from Brazil, he was at my Maxwell listening room, hadn't heard the album, didn't speak English that well, but was there with a friend of his. And he goes, Because my phone was off, I wasn't limited by my experience by scrolling, right? Because when you scroll, you're held captive by the screen. If you can eliminate that and allow yourself to surrender, your mind gets to travel beyond the screen. And he said this in all his right again, hadn't listened to the album. This was a whole new way to listen to the music, but he was like, like my mind was just traveling. I was connecting to the beat and to the music and the lyrics. And, you know, from what he understood, it still was enough to just allow him a moment to transcend and be not only present in the room, but also escape and think beyond what was in front of him via a screen. And we just what and why this works is because the opposite is so distracting, there's notifications going off. I mean, we have to literally consciously decide, even for just a simple dinner, you can go to a restaurant and see. Yeah, what were you saying? And yep, yeah, hold on, hold on, Automan. So-and-so's they're coming. Hold on, let me let me see where they are. Oh, you just got a notification on Instagram, so you go check the Instagram DM or the group chat you're in. But wait a minute, we're at dinner though. But this is this is normal to walk up to a table and see people having dinner with so many spotty connection points. It's like, are we having dinner or not? And this is normal. Team meetings. Are we doing the work in community or not? But we're trying to do so many things to so many entities that we're connected to. The next notification is coming to take you away from being present from what's in front of you. And so, um, yeah, those are just some examples of some some testimonials and the way people that have been a part of this audience have described the experience, and it's been uh very special to witness.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

So, so I'm gonna jump on one more of these maximums and get your thoughts on it here. And it's gonna align what you're talking about so far too. It's a conversation kept going past the point where it would have been easy to check out on inversion side of it, and the earlier version of the evening quietly closed its door and went home without you. What story pops in your head when you hear those watched?

SPEAKER_01 41:10

The first, the first example that pops, just because it's fresh, it's attached to the listening room. It's a young kid, she's 20 years old, never listened to Outcast, let alone listened to Equimini by Outcast. And this is the album that we were listening to. He goes, The minute you asked me to turn my phone off, and I knew I had to turn my phone off, or at least put it aside, I got anxious. And I'm like, What's going on? Why am I getting anxious? He says, But I I stay with it. And I told him, I said, the fact that you were conscious enough to know that here comes my anxious body, here comes my anxious self. What is it trying to tell me? And you was like, Thank you for the signal, but I'm gonna sit with this regardless because there's something on the other side of this for me that I need to submit to, right? And so the experience became much more enjoyable because he did not judge what was happening to him. He let it come and then he let it go. And sometimes there's conversations that we need to have with ourselves, with a loved one, with someone that has meaning in our life, but we avoid it because for whatever story we're telling ourselves. But the story is just a part of the script. It doesn't mean that's the destination, it's just a part of what comes up when we're body gets triggered by a like a am I safe? Can I still listen to what I'm hearing? Because it might not necessarily be what I want to hear, what I what feels comfortable, but staying with the experience, whether it's a conversation or listening to an album or having a deeper conversation with yourself, it's far more beneficial to see your workout through. We know this on an exercise standpoint. It's far more beneficial for you to see your workout through, even if uncomfortable, then oops, uncomfortable. I'm out of here. Hey, I feel like going to the gym today. Okay. Well, if you're only waiting to go to the gym when you feel like it, you're gonna have some different types of results. But it's deciding that you are going to see the best thing for you to its end, regardless if it makes you anxious, uncomfortable. Because that's coming. Your decision to be conscious about it coming is the part that we have to lean into and see it through because there's amazing transformation and benefits for people that see themselves through the storm, to know that this isn't the only thing that's going to come that's going to try to take me off my path, whatever it may be. So that's what comes up for me when I when I hear that.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

I hope you're enjoying this video so far. I have a new platform that Logical Library is a marketplace. And it's a place where authors can publish their book. If you're an author right now, you can publish your book and you get to understand who you're who the people that buy your book. That means a customer. You get the information now, you can build a business around them. So go check out lifechangewisdom.com if you want to learn more about that. Let's jump in on another one before we start wrapping up here. This one says there is a version of something you walk away from early, and you still don't know what would have happened if you had finished it. On the inversion side of that, the project you finished instead grew up in the house. The unfinished one was supposed to live in. Anything pops in here when you hear those words?

SPEAKER_01 44:30

I think the uh the the first thing that comes up for me is um especially as a creative, we get inspired by a lot of different things. I mean, even now, I have not arrived. There's so many unfinished projects in the Joshua Fields house. And without judging it, sometimes this is just very appropriate for you to get to the thing that you want to renovate or you want to you want to finish building. Even the great pyramids in Egypt, they didn't automatically be like, oh yeah, that wasn't their first set of pyramids. You know, if you get down the Nile River and work your way from the south to the north, you can find versions that were attempts at creating something grand before you get up all the way up to Cairo. There's smaller versions, there's a little bit like unfinished, not quite as grand, but that's the process of life. But when you're conscious of your growth and development, you won't judge and give up on yourself because man, I did a thing and I didn't see it through. Well, hold on, slow down. You're in your creative flow right now. But if you judge it prematurely, well, bro, I planted the apple tree. Why didn't I eat apples right now? Because the tree has to germinate in the ground and roots have to take place, and then you gotta water it, then you gotta nurture it. But if you're expecting to eat the fruit the same day you plant the seed, I got news for you. You're gonna always be encountering unfinished projects, unfinished parts of yourself. We judge ourselves and we put an immense amount of pressure to produce something perfect with very minimal effort. It is the process of the effort, it is the process of starting, starting again, stopping that creates the beautiful tree that will come to fruition if you see it through. And I think that message it hits home for me because the listening room idea I have for years, there and I'm not the creator of the listing room. There's tons of listing rooms across the country, across the world. My version of it, the way I make my hamburger, got some different toppings on it. Now you can go to McDonald's, you can go to a gray steakhouse, you can go to In N Out, you can go wherever you want to go to have a burger. Burgers are being mass-produced, but your burger is unique to the experience that you want to people have when they experience what you're creating. Oh, so-and-so did it before me. Now I can't do it. No, you've given yourself an out because the way you will do it for you and your audience is much more meaningful if you see it through and not give up on what it is that you have to reveal to the world. So, anyway, I I think through we we can we can abandon ship prematurely because we've decided that what we've created isn't good enough for the world to see. And that may be true, but don't give up on it because you think you're not good enough to produce it. That is a fallacy and a story that will always stunt your growth.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

All right, we we got a few. We got I got five right before I question, but before I jump into that, I got one more question for you because I think it's it's kind of it's kind of good to understand, you know, different people's motivation and stuff. And I think there's a saying that said, um, there's two ways to motivate a mouse, whiskers or cheese, right? Whiskers or cheese, um, either get motivated, motivated by the cat or the cheese. But I want to understand what what what are you motivated by, the whiskers or the cheese?

SPEAKER_01 48:06

The whiskers or the cheese. You know, if I'm being 100% real, I think there are times where both are a part of your system of motivation. You know, I think about Michael Jordan. How he would, in the last dance, a part of his competitive drive came from manufacturing enemies on the court. Or taking, oh, they gave Carl Malone the MVP. I was an MVP. You gave it to him, bet, say less. I'm about to, I'm about to drop 50 on him. Right. But he would manufacture, and it's a really powerful way to create a competitive edge within you. Like that might not have been true, may have been true or not, but he found ways to constantly motivate himself so he stayed at the top of his game. And then there's times when he just kind of laid back and played, yeah, this is this is about more of the team. I want to get everybody involved here. And so I think the uh I don't think you throw any of it away. I think there's times when you're motivated by the cheese and you're motivated by the whiskers, but you are in control, conscious control of what a motivation about what about how that motivation impacts you and what you decide to do with it. And so the larger question is, or the larger insight here is how conscious are you about the things that you use to motivate you and giving them proper boundaries so you don't burn yourself out trying to take everything personal, and you're not just so disconnected and high levels, like, yeah, I just want everybody to win. And you know, you, you, you know, you you got it. You got you know, you take the shot. You gotta know for yourself when when not I got this, I got it. I know you're gonna be pissed off, but I need to shoot this one. Oh, no, no, I'm good, baby. I'm good. You're open. Me, you've been hitting your jumper all day. Let me kick that ball to you, right? So there's just a different mentality that calls for different things. But the deeper you know yourself, you'll know when to make the appropriate conscious choices about what's motivating you and how beneficial that source of motivation is for you. Right. Because if you're constantly motivated by the cheese, you're gonna burn yourself out. You're gonna destroy your creative process because short-term strategy, but has long-term impact. And so you got to know how to consciously use that fire to motivate yourself appropriately. And again, this is all about how do I deepen my relationship with myself so the decisions I make are in true integration and alignment with how I live, how I show up in space. And that comes from taking risks, that comes from messing up a few times and receiving feedback and being rejected and being, you know, not everybody's favorite. At some point, you got to learn to be okay being you and let the consequences that come with that just be.

SPEAKER_00 50:47

All right, right before I question number one is a TV show or a film you'll phone yourself returning to lately.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

Man, I'm a fan of just watching the Oceans 11 series. And the reason for this is I love the fact that there's a team of people, and it's a little bit risque because they're they're technically thieves. But I I love a good uh heist movie. See a bunch of people trying to get something done that they ain't really supposed to be doing, and they get it done.

SPEAKER_00 51:17

So so what you're really saying that you like you like to see you like to see people break break the rules that that doesn't serve them.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

Oh man, you just yeah, brother, that hit hard. Yes, sir. Love to see that. Love that.

SPEAKER_00 51:31

Next one. Uh, three books you'd recommend to a friend right now.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

Yep, sex at dawn. The author's Christopher Ryan, sex at Dawn, great book. Civilized to death, amazing book by the same author, and uh Ego is the enemy by Ryan Holliday.

SPEAKER_00 51:47

I like those two. Number four, ear a product or tool you've been using that's been a game changer for you.

SPEAKER_01 51:53

Oh man, we we we can't get away from these robots, bro. Between ChatGPT or Claude, I'm enamored. And what I think this is what I think, I tell my buddy this all the time. We, you know, elder millennials, folks that are born in the early 80s, you know, mid-80s, we grew up with so much, we saw the change. We grew up without the technology. And now to be able to still have the creative and critical thinking that comes with not necessarily having all these tools available to you, I think we're in the best position to be able to rightfully use these tools so we can speed up our creative process, right? Have it pressure tested in a way. I just think that's just, you know, especially for that sweet spot of human, if the human experience, those that are in this generation, I think, man, if you with your crew, you know, with your critical thinking, I'm saying that again, with your critical thinking and be able to add a um a big data machine like these, uh like the chat GPTs of the world can really accelerate whatever idea that you want to bring into the world and uh help uh help just speed that process up. So I've been enamored with all these robots that are helping us refine and reveal who we are because ultimately we created the robot. And if you're critically thinking about how to use the robot to amplify yourself, I don't see nothing wrong with that. You know, that does not mean absent of human connection. I'm not talking about robots replacing human connection because we love to try to attempt to replace human connection. I don't care what it is, it ain't gonna work, but it ain't gonna work. But we have to know that, right? And we have to continue to find spaces, another plug for the listening room to invite you back to human experiences without distractions, so you can lock in and remind each other what it means to be connected to a human being, right? And so anyway, that's my two cents on that.

SPEAKER_00 53:43

And I'm I'm at a little bit bit here because I think I think the robots is gonna drive us even closer together because it's gonna eliminate a lot of the things that we hate anyway, but we had to do it for a job, right? Like you grew up in a society, people say, Hey man, I got this problem that a system creates, I know I gotta do that work, but I miss out on the human connection part. But now, if the system's been taking care of that stuff, now I have a lot more free time to do human connection stuff. So I think the robot's gonna drive us closer because, like, man, I'm I'm bored now. What are you gonna do? Find some people to hang out with. Oh, Jasper Free's got this listening room thing going on, people hanging out there. Let me go hang out. Oh, I'm in proximity now to people. In good proximity to people, guess what happened? Human connection again. More time to do it.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. Community, you have been finding, reevaluing. You know, for years I was afraid to put myself out there. Yeah, even to the point where I didn't even want to throw a birthday party because I didn't think anybody would come. The story in my head. Now I've had multiple, I mean, we're up to our 15th room, and it's a ticketed event, and I have brand partnerships, and I'm connecting with people all because I just decided that I wanted this experience to be witnessed by others. So taking the risk to put Joshua out there, this product that is, this experience that is, includes my church upbringing, my wedding, the venues that I have access to for my wedding business and you know, the flow of things. It's like all these parts of me get to just be on full display. And people coming out and investing in that experience has just been, oh man, it's just been beautiful. And so uh I'm really energized by my own experience that I created, not just for others, but I need it for me. I need it, I need it for me, and uh, it's been beautiful to to to meet people. Um, I've had, you know, just some I had just a wonderful massage and spa experience by somebody that was in my room that was like, hey, I want to come, your experience, you come try mine out. And then I'm meeting people that are just on the same frequency, but it started with me taking a risk to be like, hey, this is Joshua Fields. It's polished, it looks nice, but this is the unapologetic Joshua Fields experience. I just happen to call it the listening room. But this is how I listen to music. This is how I grew up listening to music. Now we start to add these wellness aspects, these, you know, deeper, you know, with the journal and you know, just receiving feedback and this, it just feels reciprocal. What I give, I get out, and it feeds me in a way that I in a way that coaching and DJing just haven't been for me. Um, this is this has been very special to produce and to have the world uh be a part of as I'm building it.

SPEAKER_00 56:27

Last question. You're Mart Rushdore, right? Three to five people that have been most influential in your life, and they cannot be your family members.

SPEAKER_01 56:36

I would go Jay-Z, I'd add Christopher Ryan to that, uh, the author that I mentioned earlier, my buddy Jacob Mitchell, another friend of mine, Jeremy Rubin. And to round out the fifth, I will add uh Common, the MC. Yeah, he was a large part of my uh well, hold on, Common, but there's also he was connected to a professor I had. There's another one more that's coming up for me, Ronald Hobson. He was a professor at uh at Howard. That um he just he what common's conversation led me to Howard University, specifically the song God, gaining one's own definition, which is a song on his One Day It'll All Makes Sense album, that really in my in my youth really helped break apart how much weight I put on the church as being the only vessel of information that I could receive from. It was like there's one line in the particular like Quran and the Bible, to me, they're all vital. And to me, that was like, wait, wait a minute, what? There's other spiritual books that I can get insight from, and he's just making space for the Quran and the Bible. For me at that time, that was just like, is that okay to do? Is that okay to think outside the box? And that sent me down a whole rabbit hole, brother. So um, yeah. So I think I had six on there, but you get it.

SPEAKER_00 57:56

You know, I'm I'm gonna close by saying this. It says only smart people read books. And the other part of that is so only smart people read books, stupid people just don't have the time. They're busy watching TV or whatever, right? But I think I heard Myron Goldman say that. But it's it's important because the reading of multiple texts shift your perspective on the angle that you look at life with. And oftentimes it says, I won't I can only read from this box? It's like, nah, bro, the world is too big and life is too large for me to be so focused on only one thing and don't have experience of other things. So, yeah. What is your biggest takeaway from uh this entire conversation if you have a share? Or biggest takeaway or giveaway?

SPEAKER_01 58:38

The biggest takeaway that I'm walking away with is an appreciation for someone that I look at. When I look at you, I feel like I'm looking in the mirror. You're always on the hunt to find the gems, the things that people need to connect on, right? Whether to me, you were just this beautiful example of like, I got an idea, let's go make it happen. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't, but that doesn't stop you from like you are literally not just the pursuit of happiness, you are the pursuit of greatness. And you're inspiring. And so I walk away with just being thankful that I get to look across someone that looks like me, that is driven, that is finding creative ways to be fully expressed. And um, it's refreshing. So that's probably the biggest thing that I walk away with is gratitude and appreciation to help support, be a part of whatever it is that you're trying to do, because I know it's not just about you. You're using your vehicles to get people in route back to themselves. You're complete, you're powerful. Go do it, figure out a way to go be the best version of you. And um, yeah, anyway, man, that's uh that's the thing that I walk away with.

SPEAKER_00 59:56

Bro, I appreciate the words, man. Yeah, I appreciate the word. The grind is real, but I appreciate it. Absolutely, absolutely, brothers. Absolutely. All right, folks. With that, make it an utterly, utterly fantastic day. And don't forget just to subscribe and like and share.