SPEAKER_01 0:00

You don't learn about yourself and you don't learn how to become a better version of yourself until you are in a relationship. Because that relationship, the other person is going to reflect back to you the things that you need to pay attention to that you need to improve within yourself. But you're only gonna know that when you're in that situation, not in isolation. When you're trying to do projects, when you're trying to do something, especially when it's something you haven't done before and you're in isolation, you're trying to do it by yourself, you don't have somebody else to bounce those ideas off of, right? You're trying to figure it on your own. Can you do it? Yeah, it's gonna take longer though, and you know, you don't know what you don't know. And so I think there's so much power when you're in a group, when you're in a situation where there's guidance or there's other people helping you see the blind spots. Oh, I didn't realize that. Oh, I I didn't know that, right? That's why I always value when I run ideas, you know, around it's definitely somebody that I think would be a the right audience. Like if they're not your audience, don't get their opinion because it's not as valid.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Today's guest is Jen Fontanilla. Back for another conversation. This time, it's about a project we're working on. The ontology project. Jen has been a graphic designer for over two decades. We talked about what she's stubborn about, and today we're unpacking what ontology actually means. Ontology is the study of a thing deeply, a book built by more than one person, telling the truth about who they are and what they stand for. Welcome back, Jen Fontanella to the Memories Tavillions Podcast. Jen is back on the pod. Well, we we have a lot to talk about today, Jen, because I mean I uh my brain been running like you know 20 miles an hour. So I gotta put it, I gotta put the bars in your court a little bit to see what's gonna play out for this conversation. But we need to talk about a project we're working on. So if you guys are wanna stick around and this week you can can learn about that project, it's called the ontology project. If you understand what ontology is, ontology simply means the study of a thing like deeply about something. So you can put yourself as an ontology, and we can study about you, you can study about you, and then at the end of that, we create what we call the anthology with an A. And that's like a multiple authored book. So we're gonna talk about that, the journey of that, that project that we're working on. And if you want to stick around for that, you get to hear about that. But before we get into that, there are some questions I've never asked Jen yet. And I want to ask those questions up front. Because I wanna know, Jen. I wanna know. Maybe the folks wanna know too. But anyway, how are you feeling today?

SPEAKER_01 2:41

I'm feeling fabulous. Thank you. It's always fun to be here with you. So thank you for having me again.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Of course, of course. You great energy. You did they ever lived in the Philippines for any part of your life, or are you just always been in Europe?

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Purely California. I'm never leaving. I love it too much here.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool. So here's my first question. There was a time when you were 10 and 12 years old. I know you weren't born a grown person, right? Like Bob Molly says, every person you meet was once a baby in their life. So Jen was a baby at one point, guys. I just want you to know that. But between age 10 and 12, where were you in the world? What was you doing? What was happening for you? Like what was going on for Jen and the world outside of her?

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Oh my goodness, immediately my brain goes back to junior eye. And that's so I went to a private Catholic school. And the way that it works over here, and I and I'm in the Los Angeles, Orange County area in California. And the way that it works is the school goes from first grade. At the time they didn't have kindergarten, and they added it after I had graduated or left that school, but it goes from first to eighth. So there isn't this structure where you go first through sixth, and then you go to a junior high, seven and eight, and then you go to high school. So you're pretty much with the same kids for a long period of time. And during that 10 to 12 year range, I remember it being tough. I I remember having that feeling of the girl click. You're starting, you're at that age where you're starting to wonder, like, who's your friend? And I remember so clearly, oh my gosh, it's so crazy. You're taking me back to this memory where I don't know if it's just that age or what, or is it just my unique experience? But all I can remember was you were in this, well, me, I was in a situation where I kept wondering, like, okay, is this girl really my friend? Is so-and-so really my friend? Or are they talking, you know? And then I remember learning the word backstabbing. And then you come to find out that those friends were talking behind your back, and you know, back in the day with rotary phones, and the you know, the phone was plugged to a cord and you had to stand by the wall while you talk to your friends. Like, you know, you would you would try to call your friends, and then you found out that they were talking to the other person. And and especially when it was these groups where there was like an odd amount of people. So let's say there's three girls or you know, five girls or whatnot, then it's it's it's it became this yucky competition thing. Like, oh, well, how come so-and-so hung out and they went to the mall this weekend, and then you're finding out like on Monday through hearsay that they all hung out and you didn't get invited, right? Things like that. And I I I laugh and I look back, and you know, I think to some degree we still experience that as adults. You know, how come I wasn't invited to the event or how come I wasn't invited to the VIP thing, all right? Or the or the dinner. But going back to that age, I I immediately think of those years and they were tough because it's I think for me that that was like a fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh at that age range. And it was not fun. I remember always feeling left out, and I felt like, gosh, are they really my friend? And it's it's a weird time to be growing up and a weird time to have to assess truth versus lies, who's talking behind your back. Um, so yeah, I mean, where I was was in the same, I'm in the same area. I pretty much have I've never really left the area except for when I went to college, but that's what was happening. You know, it's it's that confused state where you're really questioning who your friends are.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

I I one word stood out at me. You say backstabbing, and that's an interesting word because the other side is front stabbing. And I don't know if you experienced front stabbing before, but I'd rather be front stabbing than backstab. Most people be direct with me, let me know what's up, right? But oftentimes at that age, we're very sneaky. So have you experienced the front stabbing and you do you prefer being backstab or front stab? I'm gonna go to your first.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Not you know, the only time I can think of when that has happened is maybe if I was arguing with uh with a boyfriend or something like that, where they just call you out and and it's it's just cutting deep. You know, they're just whether it was true or not, and you know, you're they were angry or something, and then they said something and it just cut deep. So I guess that's probably the the most I've experienced front stabbing. And other than that, you know, if somebody did say something that was critical, usually it was in a constructive way. So I could take that and improve, especially if it was like, hey, you know what? I think you did a great job here, but but you know, I I you know, as a suggestion, if you're open to it, I think you could do this. It might it could make it you know work a little better. But then again, that I don't really consider front stabbing. So most of the critique I've gotten or front stabbing has been like in a situation where I was arguing with uh, you know, uh an ex or something like that. But would I rather prefer front stabbing? Yeah, I think most of us would, because at least it's happening in real time. At least you can choose how you're going to react or respond. And then you at least can know up front the information and then assess, like, okay, how do I, how do I want to take this and use this? As opposed to being backstabbed, it's like the worst. Oh my gosh, it's the worst. That's like especially when you're finding out last, right? When you find out, like, what everybody's been saying this, and then you start going down these questions, or like, well, who's been saying this? Well, who else said? Well, who else said? Well, who else knows? And and then it just starts to put you in this tizzy where you're you're now you now you gotta watch your back, right? You now you're looking around like who knows? And especially if it wasn't true, and now it's going into the the realm of rumors, right? Because now you gotta do damage control. Not only do you gotta figure out who started all this crap, then you gotta figure out, okay, what was said, what wasn't said, then you gotta figure out like, well, then who is the perpetrator? Now it's just like all this extra energy, all this extra crap that you gotta go through to figure out, like, who do I need to go to to find out, like, you know, what's up? Why did you have to say all this stuff? Why did you have to go around and say that what did I do to you? Like, why couldn't you go directly to me? And going back to the original question, like, we don't even have that insight at 10 or 12. Like, some adults still don't have that insight how to handle those situations. So, yeah, I mean, if for sure you want to know up front, it's say say it to my face. I'd rather it be said to me up front, then I can just deal with it head on instead of wasting all my time, you know, going down a rabbit hole and trying to hunt down the source. I you know, and I'm not about wasting time. I I don't like that.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

I'm glad you're enjoying the podcast. Before we continue, I have a gift for you. Since 2016, I have read and listened to over 900 books so far. It's gonna be a thousand. And I organized them into a library and I handpicked the top 100 books I recommend to my clients, my friends, and the people in my community. Books on storytelling, language, and personal growth, and building something from your own life. If you're watching this podcast and you're looking for your next great read, this library is your gift. It is free. Go to AsherAlbertWright.com and check out the One Thousand Book Challenge. This is my gift to you. Now back to the conversation, which brings you to my second question. It could be further back or most recent, but what is the kindest thing someone has done for you recently?

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Oh gosh, that's that's a hard one. Uh, because they they usually are these random acts of kindness, you know. And but the one that stood out uh the most wasn't very recent, but it was about, you know, it was a few years ago. And I remember I was going through a really tough time. And one of my really good friends, she's like a sister to me, like she just zelled me money. She just zelled me money, no, no strings attached. And um actually, no, I take that back. There was another friend. There was another friend. It was actually a few months ago, and she was just like, you know, here, just just take this. She's like, don't, don't even worry about it. She's like, I don't even want it back. She's just like, just take this, enjoy yourself. And um, you know, sometimes, you know, especially in entrepreneurship, there's there's the timing of things, right? Especially when you're waiting for invoices to get paid and you're you're waiting for business to come. They're like, this is real talk, right? There's there's times when, you know, I have these conversations with friends and we're in the coaching, consulting, you know, business and whatnot. And it's this juggling of invoices, who's paying on time, chasing money, blah, blah, blah. And sometimes it doesn't align. And sometimes it everything just boom, like, you know, comes in as as planned. And at this time, it hadn't been, and it was just a time when just so much stuff in terms of expenses and and you know, everything going out was it was a lot. And then I was doing a conference and there was all these travel expenses, and I was just like, oh my God, I don't need, I don't, you know, it wasn't like I was gonna back out, but I remember this friend just stepping in and she's like, here, just just don't worry about it. I got you. She's like, You you don't even have to, you don't even have to give it back. And eventually I did, because I was like, oh no, no, no, no. I have to, it's just the timing of things because I really wanted to make sure I took care of it. And, you know, it it just it just humbles me when I think about how blessed I am. You know, when I journal every morning and I write what I'm grateful for, and I think about how blessed I am to have incredible friends and and people in my life that you just they they never cease to amaze me and surprise me with their with their love and their kindness. And then I had to remind myself, like, gosh, you know, there are there are people out there who feel so alone. There's so many people out there who feel like they have no one to go to. And then here I am so blessed and humbled by the the community that I have around me, you know, the people that um I have grown very, very close to. And of course, I'm there in return because I I never forget how it was or how it is when you are in those situations, like whether you need financial help, whether you just need emotional support, whether, and I have a you know, I have other friends too where they just they just leave me, you know. We all live on WhatsApp, especially Asher and I. We live on WhatsApp. And so, you know, that I have friends that leave me messages and and we're just venting. Because sometimes you just need that soundboard, you just need that person to be like, okay, I don't need you to really respond to this, but I just need to get this off my chest, and then they just feel better. Sometimes we don't even need a response. It's just, you know, thinking about what's the kindest thing. Sometimes the kindest thing that you can do for someone is just literally be there for them.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Those are some very positive, inspiring words, and the experience of it is the evidence of it, and we all want evidence of great experience. The part that even hit me too is the entrepreneur journey, because sometimes, you know, I'm studying like other companies, and I was looking at I call it the credit card for like anthropics or open air. I've noticed how much money these guys raise and borrow, like to build up their so line of credit, right? Billions of dollars, right? But but but when you're in business, not everybody gets to go find those line of credit for your business. Sometimes you gotta bootstrap. And when you're bootstrapping and the pay cycle doesn't happen the same, like two weeks and 30 days, a regular person, right? Your pay cycle is different. Sometimes all of it comes in one time, months goes, nothing comes in, and you rush in, right? So you gotta figure out how do you juggle that piece of it. So when he was talking about somebody stepping in, it's like, yeah, we gotta raise money, we gotta raise funding like these other big companies raised, they gotta raise fund funding for your project. We got ventures we're working on, right? Sometimes you don't have the money to cover it, you gotta look into somebody else's bank account. And when that person shows up and says, Hey man, I know you're bootstrapping, I know you're doing your thing, but I see you. I can cover you for the next day until your invoice shows up, right? I appreciate people like those. So I understand the feeling.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Absolutely. It is it's and we need those kind of people, and and uh equally, we need to be that person for other people as well, if you if you can do it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Here's my other question before we get into ontology conversation. The other question is I know a lot of us when we think about what is it that you're passionate about, but I don't like that question. I like this other one. What is it that you've been very stubborn about, Jen? Like you go back one, two, three decades, whatever. You just go over a time period of time. What is the thing that you've been you know you've been very stubborn about over a long period of time? I would love to know that.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Oh my goodness, I'm laughing because we kind of talked about it this earlier today um in WhatsApp. And um I have been horrible at getting to bed early. But the to preface that, the reason is because I procrastinate. Like, here's the oh gosh, this is like this is like confession time. I will get things done. I don't care what it takes. If it needs to get done, I will never let somebody hang and and be wondering like what happened to her or where is this thing? Like, I I always hit my deadlines. That's not my problem. But the problem is because I procrastinate, I end up staying up really late, I end up like, you know, waiting till the 11th hour, and I don't know what the freaking deal is. That's what I've been stubborn with, and that's what affects me sleeping early or on time. But it's like I I have been wondering about this for the last couple of months. I'm like, why do I do this? It's not hard. It's not like any work that I haven't done, but for some freaking reason I procrastinate. And then here's the dumb part. Once I get into it, I'm like so dialed in. I'm like in the zone. You know, you know, you know when you're in the zone, right? Especially when you're in Claude, right? You're just like in the zone and you're just going and going and prompting and prompting and then creating all kinds of cool stuff and making things and and it feels great. But then I wonder like, if I know that I can flow once I get into that zone, why do I have such a hard time just jumping in? Because then I don't know. I I get squirrel, I get distracted. But again, like I said, I get it done. It's just why have I been so stubborn with with the time blocking? And so I even this morning I was I was thinking about our questions. I was like, gosh, why do I do this? I need to just jump into it, whatever it is that needs to get done. And you know, it makes me think of that book. Is it how to eat a frog? I can't remember the book. There's a book that talks about, you know, just or you know, how to eat an elephant. It it's it that's about eating some kind of weird animal. I can't remember the title, but it's about doing that thing that you've been avoiding, doing that thing that you've been procrastinating about. And and my goodness, that that is the number one thing that I have been stubborn about for so long.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

Well, let's dig into that, if you don't mind. Your stubborn procrastination. Let's let's dig into that. How long has that been a trend in your life?

SPEAKER_01 17:52

Oh, I think forever. I think forever. And I think it's also because it's also because there hasn't been the pain of something not being completed. Like I could understand if there was a consequence, right? Let's say I missed a deadline, I got fired, or I lost the project because I didn't come through. Like, I could understand if that was the case. That's not the case. Like, I always get it done. So there's no pain. There's no pain and consequence from it, except for me not getting sleep. So um, I don't know. I don't, I don't know why I keep doing it, but it's it's been that way for a long time. And then there'll be times when like I'm good about it, and then I'll fall back into the procrastination of you know, waiting to the last minute sometimes. And it doesn't happen all the time, but I've I've noticed a pattern and I thought I thought to myself, why do I do this? It's not like the thing that I'm doing, whatever the project is. It's never difficult. And especially nowadays with all the tools that we have, and then when you do it so well and you've done it for so many times, like you're just you're just an expert at it. So I always question, I'm like, I I don't know, I don't know why I do this. This is so weird.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Well, I'm gonna play a doctor for you right now.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Okay, go ahead, Doctor. I'm just gonna do that.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

I'm gonna do some diagnosis and prescription right here. Because speak speaking from a person that that that understand that feeling, I think there's a block of window where for some reason my creativity lives. So it's more close to the deadline than further away from the deadline. Further away from the deadline, not the creative juice is not there. I have to get close to the to the edge. Oh, juicy now. So then maybe you've been in that space because that's a space where you get more creative, is when you're close to the deadline. So you need the adrenaline to get your juice pump in, and the adrenaline comes at the edge.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Well, I think you're right. But this is not good for time blocking and planning. Because if I remember there were times when um when I was taking a lot of classes in design schools, this is years ago, like 20 somet 25 plus years ago. What and I remember we would have the project or whatever, they would give us the deadlines, right? And I'm thinking, like, all right, cool, I got this is like a month away, or depending on how big the the you know, the how big the assignment is, which is interesting because I think about how there was a quote I heard recently about like you're gonna, you don't need more time. You're you're you're going to complete the thing in the amount of time that you've been given. So if you're been if you've been given two weeks, like it's gonna take you two weeks, but you know you're not you're not gonna do it to your point. You're not gonna do it till maybe like you know, two days before. Like we all for those of us who went to college and high school, like you know, when that essay, that that essay that the teacher assigned to you, you know you didn't do it until two days or what the day before, right? You're scrambling, you're you're doing like 12-point times new Roman, and you're trying to fill up the page with you know your essay, a thousand words. And yeah, them teachers know that you're trying to do 14-point and you know, big font, like all the tricks, right? We all did it. And it's just so funny that we push it to the limit. But that's that's my boy, like because you know you're gonna get it done. And you know, hearing that and being reminded of what you just said, it it there were times going back to the design school story. I remember even though I got two weeks and I knew early on, like, okay, we're gonna have to do this magazine layout, whatever, whatever. And I remember I'd be thinking and thinking, like I would take a walk, thinking and thinking, like, I have no idea what I'm gonna design. And this is way before Google didn't even exist in the way it did now, you know. So I I would have to go to the library, photocopy magazines or photocopy books and cut it and and like try to paste it and collage it and make it something. And it wasn't easy the way it is today and not fast. We didn't have these digital tools. And then I would be like at a blank, I'd be like, I don't even know what. I'm making this is so ugly. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna fail this project. And then I would start getting into this weird, you know, that as the time is ticking, you're just like, oh my gosh, this is this thing is due to Friday. It's already like Wednesday night. And then something would happen, maybe Thursday morning, maybe when later Wednesday night, boom. I don't know, from wherever the creative gods, or I don't know what that the this brilliant idea would come out of nowhere. And sometimes it was like I was working out or I was, you know, and then I had learned later on it's when your brain is relaxed. This is why I think it's so powerful to meditate and visualize and pray and do those things where you're just sitting down and quieting yourself. That's when the inspiration sometimes comes in. And for me, that has happened many times. And then all of a sudden, you know, it's the 11th hour. I'm like, like you said, I got the adrenaline pumping, like the the idea is so freaking clear, and then I'm cranking it away. And of course, I got an A. I've been there so many times, but my question is is like, how do I avoid this? Can can I'm like, can it come earlier than the 11th hour? Like, why does it have to be so late? But um, but yeah, it has happened to me so many times over the over the years. And and you know, I've been a designer for more than two decades, and I can't tell you how many, and and even in other things that aren't necessarily design related, it's you know, it could be strategy, it could be you know coming up with a plan, it could be you know advising somebody on something, and then the this whole plan will just you know come to mind and be like, oh my gosh, that's the answer. And of course the thing is due like in a few hours, but it's really weird how our brain does that.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

You have been being raw real about what life is like for the majority of the folks on the planet, we experience this, and I think what something I've learned, which I mean, when you work for somebody, oftentimes deadline is important, but then if you can self-induce an earlier deadline on yourself, that's the trick, but it's not easy to do. No, because you can be like, I can put I can move my own deadline.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

Right. And like I said, especially when there's no real consequence or pain. I mean, yeah, it it makes it, it makes it too easy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

I often share this quote with other people or this saying it says there's two ways to motivate a mouse whiskers and cheese. Right? So you can be scared of the cat, are you chasing the cheese? Right. But sometimes the mouse gotta figure out what you're motivated by. Are you afraid of the cat whiskers or are you afraid of the cheese? So I would like to know. I mean, speaking of your procrastination, I don't know what if you're motivated by the whiskers or the cheese. Well, you would say what you say to that.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Well, the cheese for me would be money. I'm highly motivated by money. Highly like for all of you out there who can agree with me, y'all, you know I'm right. Highly motivated by money because I think about I think about what the money can bring. You know, it's it's sense of calmness, groundedness, you know, of course, your stuff's paid for. You know, you're able to eat, you're you're or you know, you want to take it to the next level, you know, you're able to travel, do fun things, right? You're not you're not scrimping and surviving. So that's that's my cheese. So the whiskers, the whiskers part, you know, for me, the whiskers is um, I would say it's always been of this fear of letting people down, especially if they paid me, especially if they're a client. You know, it's it's of course I don't want to let my friends down, but when we're talking about entrepreneurship business and you know, doing your work, it it has been this thing. I don't even know if I would call it a fear, but we'll just call it whiskers. And it's this feeling of like, I want to be dependable. I I want people to know that they can trust me, that I'm gonna deliver. I'm gonna deliver this on time. I'm gonna deliver, you know, you know, something that's high quality, top-notch. And to think, because you know, I've been on the other side where I have received subpar quality and it sucks, especially when you paid for it, right? And it's paid a lot for it. And you're just like, really? This is what you're giving, you give back to me. I never want that to be the reaction because I want somebody to feel good that they trusted me and then they got what they asked for. Uh, the other whisker too is regret. That I think is a huge one. You know, I think about those questions where like, you know, what would you do if you were on your deathbed and you're thinking about what you didn't do? You know, what you know, you hear those stories, and I think about regret. You know, am I am I gonna get to the end of my life and go like, man, I didn't do that, or I, you know, I was too afraid to take the shot, or you know, I didn't, I didn't finish XYZ. And I think regret is so much more scarier. It's so much more scarier than failing. It's so much more scarier to be at that point because, you know, at some point we're gonna run out of time. There'll there'll be a time where you're just like, this, this is it, you know, whether you're ill or you're just old or whatever the case may be, right? None of us is making it alive off this earth, right? We're all gonna go on to the next, the next life. And I don't want to look back and go, man, yeah, I never did that. Yeah, I never, you know, I never went to that place that I said I always wanted to visit, or, you know, I never I never called that friend, and you know, unfortunately they passed away before I ever got to reach out to them. So regret to me is probably the biggest whisker that I can think of.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

If you're enjoying this podcast right now, I've launched a platform, memoirsamilians.com, where I help authors, former authors, or people that want to be authors, write their book, publish their book, format their book, edit their book. It's a whole one-stop shop for your book journey. So go there to memosamiliar.com and check it out and see you on the inside. And with that, we're gonna transition into Kentology Project.

unknown 28:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

And I have some stuff I've I've written up, and I want to read it to you and the folks that's listening. Because I was doing some research on books itself, because you know I'm in the book business, I'm in the writing business, the storytelling business. You've probably run into some of these statistics already in a post, a webinar, somebody's sales page. What you likely weren't told is that the data is incomplete. There's no clean global count of how many books exist. There's no recent survey on how many people want to write one. Some of the figures came from companies selling services to writers. Some have no traceable source at all. You could be handed just the impressive part, but you deserve to know where this is came from. So here's what you're gonna get for the next few minutes. And every number arrived with its source and its limits. This isn't an argument about that I'm gonna make for you, but it's the direction that I need to lay out in front of you. And the direction owes even more than the number disagree. So in 1440, Gutenberg built the printing press from then to the end of 2023, right when the ARC hit the scene, 583 years, humanity published roughly 160 million books, Jen, about 750 a day, day after day, for five and a half centuries. So hold on to that numbers. Now we in 2002, a survey found that 81% of American adults felt they had a book in them and that they should write it. If you've ever felt that you weren't the exception, you were the majority. And as far as the record shows, that question hasn't been asked seriously since 24 years ago. But we do know what people do. Speaking about procrastination, a poll of 2,000 Americans found more than half had a good idea for a book. 15% started one, six percent reached the middle. Out of a hundred people who say they have got a book in them, 85 don't write a word, 14 more stops before halfway. If you're if you're in the 85, you're not unusual, you're typical. And in 2025, the world published over four million titles in a single year, about 11,400 a day, roughly, 15 times the pace of the previous five centuries. The barrier that kept you out for 500 years is largely gone. This is a number you need to sit sit with for a bit. One writing platform tracked nearly 14,000 books on their system, 36% produced zero chapters, 41% stopped after exactly one. But the book that got past chapter two, roughly three in four got finished. Your bottleneck wasn't the writing, it wasn't a publisher, it was chapter two. And here's why it matters to you it isn't about your sales. When you publish, you're forced to do something a lot of people avoid. You organize your own story, you decide what happened, what it meant, and what order somebody else can follow. That changes you. It's hard to tell your story with clarity until you've understood it, and it's hard to understand it until you have put in put it in order. The book isn't a byproduct, your organized mind is the product. And when your story is in order, you speak with authority, not over other people, over yourself. So my last four questions is Do you have the desire? Have you taken the action? Have you published? And if you have, what changed in your life afterwards? If you're one of the 85 who hasn't written a word yet, that's not a character flaw. That's chapter two. And chances are you haven't had someone walk you through it. You can have that today with me and Jen. Alright, Jen. So those are some some some research I put together, and I would like to hear your thoughts on those. What are you thinking?

SPEAKER_01 32:00

I agree. I think there are a lot of people that I've run into over the years, and just for some context, um I'm an eight-time published author. So two of those were fully written books, and the other ones are anthologies. So I have experience with both anthologies as well as writing the entire thing. And I ran into so many people over the years, like, oh, I want to write a book, you know, oh, I'd love to write a book. I've oh, I've always wanted to write a book, right? I've I've heard all of the conversations and, you know, people sharing that they have a story to tell, or, you know, some have a clear idea of, like, oh, I would love to talk about how my grandfather was this influence in my life, and I did this and this. So some people are very clear, right? They they know exactly what they want to write. The other group of people are the people who, like, you know what, I'm not quite sure. I just know I have a story to tell. So, you know, if you're listening to this, there's a lot of people out there that either know what they want to write about or have no clue what they want to write about. But everybody knows that they want to share a story, their story, whatever that story is. Then the next step is well, I don't, I just don't know how, right? Everybody wants, they know they have the desire to, but then this is so alongside with the unfinished chapter two, it's the I don't, I don't know how to do this. And I'm gonna tell you all. When I did the anthology uh years ago, the first one I did was in 2014. And I wrote a chapter. And I remember the feeling I'm like, uh do what do I do? I just get, you know, get on, I think it was Microsoft Word at the time still. I have since left that, but at the time I think it was Microsoft Word, and then I'm writing my chapter and then I submit it. And it was just really interesting because if if you are fam, if if you're not familiar with the book pri the book process, it there's a lot of moving parts, lots of moving parts. And it's a it's very different when you have somebody guiding you and you're submitting a chapter and and there's work in that in involved in that part, and then it's a whole different animal. If you're you're not familiar with the publishing side of it and listing it and getting it on Amazon, and then you know, the graphics involved, and then the marketing of the book is a whole nother animal. Okay. It's a whole nother animal. So I totally get the statistics. And and the thing, again, as like we were talking about earlier, Asher, about the regret. I think about the people who have been sitting on an idea, sitting on that story, sitting on that. Oh, I wish, you know, I've been wanting to, you know, then why haven't you? Why, why aren't you? Because there are so many opportunities to do it. There are so many resources now. And now we're in the day and age where there's like so much everywhere with AI and Google and everything that analysis paralysis, right? Now it's there's just so much information out there. Trust me, you don't want to try to piecemeal all of it together. It's it's just too much. If you're gonna, you know, and oh, you know, I heard this great quote. I heard this great quote last week. I was watching this webinar, and this this guy he said, don't be cheap when you're trying to make money. Oh, I loved it because he and this was for a uh, I'll tell you what the webinar was about, just so you have some context. It was for business credit funding. Okay. So in order to get there, just as a sidebar, you have to fix your credit, right? All these things. And so I knew why he was saying this. I knew why he said this phrase, because I knew that he was gonna tell people that he's like, well, you need to fix your credit, and then you're gonna have to pay this service to to fix the credit, and you're gonna have to pay for your credit report and all these, you know, not the credit report, but like other things to get to to to get to a level where you can start getting that funding, right? And he said it because I knew, I knew, I knew that the chat was gonna have all these people, oh I don't have to pay for this, I have to pay for another thing. And it it kills me. It kills me because people want to do stuff, people want to improve their situation, people want to like, well, how do I make this better? But then the moment, the moment there's some investing involved in terms of it's gonna cost you something in order to do the first step to fix the situation, y'all the first to complain that why does it cost money? And so that's what I can do. So when he said that, I was like, I gotta borrow that phrase, like stop being cheap if you want to make money. And so I say that going back to the context of we're talking about there are people who are gonna say things like, Well, I'll just figure it out. I'm just gonna Google everything, I'm just gonna use Chat GPT and CLOD and AI, I'll just figure it all out. Can you do that? Yeah, but guess what? It's probably gonna take you 500 years too, because again, there's just too much information out there. And there isn't the human experience, there isn't the human touch of like somebody looking at the manuscript or somebody looking at the the stuff and and and giving you a reaction to what it is that you're producing. So I'm not saying don't use those tools. I'm not saying those aren't good resources, but you know, when you don't know what you're doing, it's it's like, you know, with you know, Asher and I love Claude, we're we live in Claude. And the the thing with with AI is like if you're if you don't know what you're prompting and you don't know what to ask, and it's like you're blind leading the blind, you're gonna get crappy output. And you're you because you don't know what to ask it. So if you have no idea how to write a book or how to put it together, it's gonna be a hot, it can be a hot mess. It it and and you there's no guidance. And so that's that's what I think about when I I think about what these stats and stuff. It's like sometimes there is the lack of knowledge, and I get that, but then sometimes I think the thing that stops people from completing the book is is you. You're the one getting in your own way because you're not allowing yourself to give yourself the permission and say, yes, you know what, screw it, I'm gonna finally do this.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

If you don't want to make money, don't be cheap. No, no, you're making a point. And I think you know, free don't get finished. That's my response to that. Free doesn't get finished. Because how many times you got you try to do something for free, and the consequence, we talk about procrastination and accountability. Most of the time, that's the reason why you pay for something or you pay for proximity to some somebody or something, because it will help you get to the finish line. There's some things I know I'm not gonna finish. Like I don't wake up every day thinking about that, so obviously I'm not gonna finish it because my brain is care doesn't care about it. But if that person that I'm gonna hire wake up every day thinking about that thing, just like working out, that guy wake up every day thinking about working out, thinking about the exercise. Of course, he's gonna tell me exactly what to do right. But I don't think about that stuff because I don't care. Same thing, whatever the profession is, they wake up every day thinking about that thing. Their brain is wired for that, they will help you get there. So I thought about even the folks that I've I've done a couple of those, you know, projects, pro bono, free, whatever. But I understand people pay for results and people pay for commitment and accountability isn't free. So the benefits of doing something with other people is simply this. You get to understand what it feels like. Because at the end of the day, you want your book, you want your project to meet and greet somebody, have a conversation with somebody. And if nobody's around helping you with it, how will you feel about when you finish it? Because the thing about when you finish up some any project, when you finish it, you want somebody to celebrate with you, somebody to enjoy it with, somebody to share it with, and that is even the biggest part. Not just doing it. Talking about whiskers and cheese. I mean, I want the cheese at the end. But but I I was talking to Mike when I got on my podcast and he was cracking a joke. He was saying, if you're gonna chase the cheese, if you're gonna be the most to chase the cheese, be the second mouse, not the first most. Because it said the first most don't get it, the first most don't get the cheese, the second most get the cheese. Because oftentimes the first most get hit by the trap.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

Yeah, we don't want that.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

But but but that goes back into sometimes you do it by yourself and you get caught in the trap and you're stuck. You might need a guide to make sure you avoid a trap. So you want to be the second mouse.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

So the lesson is don't get caught in the mouse trap.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Don't get caught in the mouse trap.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

And that write your book.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

This episode is sponsored by Live Chinese the Marketplace, the home for artists who own their stories and their business. Your book, your merch, your audience. One storefront, you keep 80%, you own your customer list. You build a relationship, real relationship with the readers. If that sounds like the way you want to run your business, visit lifechainwisdom.com. But I have a few benefits here. Let's talk about this one. Yeah. So so one of them is like the book you keep meaning to write stop nagging you. That's one thing that happens when you decide to do it, when you decide to partner up, um, be part of a community to do it. It's stop nagging you. Another one is you finally know what your life is about. We talk about ontology, the study of a thing, the study of you, the study of an experience, the study of something that you were stubborn about. You get to learn about that even more.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

Do you feel like it's the process of writing the book? Like, what makes you feel that all of a sudden I'm gonna know what my life is about?

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Uh-huh. So I like this question about what are you stubborn about? Because from that you can come up with a thesis, you can come up with something you stand for, you can plant your flag down. Because often that that's evidence you're like, but have you studied that thing long enough? Like, have you studied why you procrastinate so much? Have you studied why you don't like people telling you what to do so much? Are you study why you resist so much? Like, if you study those things, there's a lot of story and there's a reason, there's something in it deeply. For two or three decades, you've been stubborn about that one thing. It's a deep value in you. Are it something that you you resist because people are trying to change you? Like, no, I'm not changing that. I'm here for this. Now, exploring that might need skills, it needs questions. Oftentimes you haven't asked yourself those questions, therefore it needs to be axed by somebody else. And then you start, oh, that's why. Never thought about that. And you start organizing those stories, and eventually you meet other people that are stubborn about the same thing. Now we have a connection, and I have a reason and meaning behind why I'm stubborn, but maybe you haven't thought about why you're stubborn, but you share that story. So I'm like, oh, that's why I'm like that because we're the same. And you start meeting people that you're the same with, and now you can start creating community and connection. That makes you have more meaning in your life. Because now I'm here for a purpose, because I'm finding people that my purpose connects with, and that's what we're here. What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 42:46

Yeah, I think you know, this made me think of an expert dating relationship. I think she's a neuroscientist too. I can't remember. Her name's Esther Perell.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

I know who you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 42:58

Oh my gosh, I love her, right? Okay, so you know what I'm talking about, Esther. She's a mix, right?

SPEAKER_02 43:02

I think I read a few of her book, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

Oh love or watching her on podcast interviews, but she said something interesting where there's a lot of people out there that think that when they're in a, you know, the the in before they can get into a relationship that they they have to fix everything and everything has to be perfect. Or I I and I get there is a part of there's some things that, you know, if there's some trauma or whatnot, you you I think you do need to work on that, right? There's things that you do need to work on yourself. But this idea of that you have to completely be, you know, fixed or healed. She said something that that I was like, wow, I never looked at it that way. And she said, you don't learn about yourself and and you don't learn how to become a better version of yourself until you are in a relationship. Because that thing is going, that relationship, the other person is going to reflect the things, reflect back to you the things that you need to pay attention to that you need to improve within yourself. But you're only gonna know that when you're In that situation, not in isolation. And so I'm bringing that back to what you just said because when you're trying to do projects, when you're trying to do something, especially when it's something you haven't done before and you're in isolation, you're trying to do it by yourself, you you don't have somebody else to bounce those ideas off of, right? You there's you're you're trying to figure it on your own. Can you do it? Yeah, it's it's gonna take longer though. And you don't, you know, you don't know what you don't know. And so I think there's so much power when you're in a group, when you're in a situation where there's guidance or there's other people helping you see the blind spots. Oh, I didn't, I didn't realize that. Oh, I I didn't know that, right? That's why I always value when I run ideas, you know, around other people. Or I'm like, hey, what do you think of this? You know, because sometimes, and I, you know, there's times when I thought, like, this, this, this thing is badass. Like, I it's this is hot, right? And then I I show it to somebody, like, I don't get it. And then I realize, like, oh, okay, it was just in my head, right? Or I I start to realize like I didn't explain it well, or maybe, maybe just in my little world, I'm thinking it's the next best thing. And but when I show it to somebody else, and granted, it's definitely somebody that I think would be a you know, the right audience. So here you can, yeah, you know, you have to be careful when you ask certain people, like if they're not your audience, don't get their opinion because it's it's not it's not as valid. And I'm like, oh, I didn't realize that. Like, oh, okay, cool. And then and then I'm grateful. I'm grateful. So it's kind of like the front stabbing stuff we were talking about earlier. I'm I'm grateful. Tell me, tell me all the stuff right now because it's valuable feedback, it helps me improve the idea. It helped, or it just tells me, like, okay, it wasn't as cool as I thought. Like, I'm not gonna do it anymore. But you know, going back to what you were talking about, it's just there's so much power in being in community, there's so much power in being in a in a container where you're all helping each other. And especially if, you know, well, like you said, you want to be the second mouse.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

But I I like what you said. This phrase needs to be written down somewhere. I don't get it. My coach often reminds us that my public speaking coach, he often says, You know what your problem is, Asher? You know too much. The person you're talking to doesn't have all your full context. So when you use the thing you're thinking about, you have all the context in your head, but when you show it, they don't get it. So we we we say words and you know, growth. Groat means a lot of things. It has your own dictionary for other people, right? Everybody owned their own dictionary for that. So you could mean different things, but I'm saying you gotta define things sometimes. But defining it shrink it down to something people can understand. So when you say I don't get it, I don't get it, it's like, yeah. In your head, you get it, but they don't get it because they don't have your context, and that's what people and communities for, because you know, give it like I don't get it. What do you mean by that? Then you gotta explain it, and like, oh, that's the language you use. The explaining language, it's the language of you because they get that one.

SPEAKER_01 46:57

Right. You made me think of something too right now. I run into this with experts and consultants that I've done work for, and some of them are just so brilliant, they know a lot, and their end user or their ideal client, I'm like, dude, you can't talk like that. Especially when they're in certain fields, like I don't know how I ended up with like a lot of attorney clients, uh financial uh well, I mean, I was in financial services for you know two decades. And so I know how to speak the jargon and the investment speak and all the terms, but when I do work for that particular type of industry, I'm like, you can't talk like that. You can't, you can't use those words. And to your point about knowing too much, that's that's something that you know, if you're a consultant or you know, somebody that's an expert in a certain field, especially if it's a technical field, one of the things that we need to remember that when when you're doing marketing and whether that's in your social media, in your post, and never mind the fact if you're writing a report or or you know a white paper, that's a totally different thing. But when you're talking to the general consumer out there, something that you need to remember is that you're the expert and the people you're talking to are not. So if you want to build a connection with them through your story, through the story in the book or whatever it is, you have to remember. I don't like the word dumb it down, but you have to remember that you can't speak as if you're talking to a colleague. And I see that mistake done often. And I'm like, I have to tell people like you can't say it this way. How can you say it so it's more of a conversation because people are not gonna connect to, you know, this expert talk. And no, it may seem like, oh, but I it's gonna sound like a no, but you're not getting the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you, if you're trying to build the, if you're trying to get this person as a client and you're trying to share your story, you need to build that connection first. And in order for you to do that, you have to do it in a relatable way.

SPEAKER_02 48:55

You know, the most relatable thing I've discovered is storytelling. And yeah, when we say storytelling, sometimes people don't get what it means. So three things you can identify when somebody's gonna tell a story. They say, I remember, or they say, This happened, they give a time, place, or a date. Or they say something like, Imagine this, right? So you're gonna put you in what happens for the the person that's listening? I'm in that story. When you use those words, where are you gonna take me? You're gonna take me a place, a scene, a whatever, right? But oftentimes we don't get that. We use concepts, we start explaining concepts, and sometimes people are like, Man, I'm not even ahead, I don't know all the context around that concept. So, storytelling, burn less mental calorie, and to to understand the art of that is the way to go for any level of people. If you start talking about a story, because I can see myself in that situation when you start putting me in there, and that changes the game. So here's another benefit your suffering gets a job. If you went through something and you experience it, it gets a job now because the world gets to understand what that suffering was like and the meaning you get from it. So if you went through something deeply, tragically, traumatically, or just vicariously through some what of some other means, you get to share that. And that becomes meaningful to somebody else. Because I've I've been there, I've experienced it, but I didn't know the make meaning of it. But now that you did for yours, mine make difference now. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 50:22

It reminds you of that phrase. I I think it's overused, but it makes sense. Turning your pain into purpose, right? And going back to this suffering gets a job idea. I think it gives people hope. I think it gives people this feeling and sense of like, oh, okay, I don't have to be embarrassed about that anymore. Or, oh, I can see how somebody shared something really traumatic or embarrassing or horrific that they went through. And yet it inspires somebody that reads it to go, oh wow, they were brave. They were able to share that. And then you have this sense of hope because you're looking at what where did they go after that? What steps did they take? What change, what transformation did they go through in order to be able to pick themselves up after that event? And that gives people hope. That gives people this feeling of like, wow, I can't believe all that stuff they went through. And and look at they're doing now. Or maybe they're like, and then I have seen it too, where it wasn't necessarily like, oh my gosh, you know, all this amazing stuff happened. Sometimes the chapter ends like, oh, you know what? I'm in this space now, and I'm still trying to take it day by day, and I'm still trying to figure things out, but now I feel happy, or now I'm able to wake up every day grateful, right? So there's gonna be different levels of how that happy ending turned out. But the point is, you are a witness to how these people are taking this suffering or this trauma or whatever had happened. And it makes other people go, like, wow, because I have, again, going back to the people that I had conversations with that say they want to write a book. A couple of other things that I have heard where people say things like, Yeah, you know, but I I don't want to talk about that part, or I'm afraid of talk about that, you know, or you know, I don't know if can I talk about that? And my answer has always been, it depends. It depends what you're comfortable with. You know, it depends on how healed you feel and how, you know, how are you ready to be open about that? But that's that's a personal decision. So that comes up very often where there is a segment of somebody's life, or maybe that is the part that they want to have some kind of inspirational story come out of, but there is that level of like, oh, I don't know if I should talk about this. And so this is a perfect example of why the suffering gets a job. There are so many examples of people who have turned that suffering into a story to inspire others to have bravery and hope as they move on in their own lives.

SPEAKER_02 52:53

I see this, you know, I like I like the word appreciate, because the word appreciate kind of if you if you apply it to the stock market or goal or anything, right? When you say something appreciate, I mean the value goes up. So now you have this suffering, this thing in your life, and in order for the value to go up, it has to be meaningful to somebody else, especially you. But how do you increase the value of an experience you have? How do you mine your memories for more meaning and appreciate the value of it? And that's what happens when you sit down and write your story. You increase the value of it because you organize it, you structure it in a certain way. People are like, Wow. Now I want to do the same thing for mine. Because when you when your story is organized inside of you, that means when you tell it's organized outside of you. And that that requires work. So here's another benefit. You get to build a relationship with with the people your story reaches. How valuable is that? Somebody get to know you because there's nobody you can't love once you learned your story. And guess what? We are looking for love. And if somebody gets to learn about your story, more love. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 53:58

I I have experienced this firsthand. Uh it's one of the most rewarding things as an author, and especially the the last book that I wrote, uh, The Creative Code. And I had a few people that that literally reached out and you know either supported it on social media or you know, privately messaged me. And you know, when when I will share this, you know, when you write, when you write anything, and especially it, and it's a different experience when I wrote the entire thing, but you you put out, you know, you're pouring out your heart and and and all the things. I'm a very open book, so I I I I say everything. And uh yeah, I I it's just easier for me to just say everything. So a lot of my suffering has a job. Everybody, every suffering is employed, so it's all good. And so when I put out this book, you know, I had people message me and just like, oh my gosh, this really helped me. Oh my gosh, you know, in the what I was gonna say is you don't know, you know, you you you think it's good, you know. There's like there's that feeling that getting like, okay, I think this is good, I'm not sure. I'm just gonna put it out there, right? And then there's this feeling of like, okay, I hope, I hope this is gonna be a good talk. You know, you just, you know, you can see you you can have people read it and then they're like, yeah, it's really good. And you're like, okay, but there there is the the war market, and then there's the strangers on Amazon, right? So whole different ballgame. So you're kind of wondering, is it really good? Until you get the feedback from from people and you start to read reviews if you're if you're getting reviews like on Amazon or Goodreads or whatnot, you start to see the impact. And when you get messages of people telling you, like, oh my gosh, this helped me better understand how to do XYZ, or like, you know what, this this gave me a lot of hope. Or, you know, I I was about to give up on doing this until until I read that chapter about that. And that really helped me reevaluate my choices and what I was gonna do. And when you get that, you're you're so happy. You know, you you appreciate, you know, talking about appreciation, you appreciate, you give yourself a pat on the back and you're just like, yeah, I'm glad I stuck it out. Yeah, I'm glad I said yes to this. It's not even just for the accolades and for you to pat yourself on the back to say, like, yes, I did it. What's what's even bigger than that is like thinking about the people that come back and say, this made a difference. This made an impact. Me just reading what you've said. That's huge. Knowing that you, from your words, from your story, from your suffering, from your experience, turning it into a story, turning it into lessons, turning it into this is how transformation can take place. And then being able to witness what kind of change it does in other people's lives, that is huge. I mean, that is such a rewarding feeling when you get to witness people having change in their own lives because of the work that you put out there.

SPEAKER_02 56:58

I hope you're enjoying this video so far. I have a new platform, the Logical Live Channel Wisdom Marketplace, and it's a place where authors can publish their book. If you're an author right now, you can publish your book, and you get to understand who you're who the people that buy your book. That means a customer, you get the information now, you can build a business around them. So go check out live changewisdom.com if you want to learn more about that. You know, recently I was uh I was listening to Sam Altman talked about when they first started Open Air, right? And he was sharing about it was him and these some of the co-founders, they went to this one of the co-founders' apartment, and they was like, We don't know what we're gonna do. All of us here, we don't know what we're gonna do. And then he tell the story of okay, they got a whiteboard. When they look at the whiteboard, it's like, okay, well, what are we gonna do? It was like he was like, I don't know what we're gonna do. But then what the group did, they sat down and said, Well, we researchers, let's write some papers. And they all sat down and each write different papers, and then they start combining ideas, and the ideas start forming, and from that comes open AI, Chat GPT, whatever. But I thought about when I first wrote my first book, I was like, should I write, go to the college, or let the professor be my grade my papers, or should I let the marketplace be my grader? I was like, I'm taking a risk on the marketplace. They're gonna grade me. If they like it, they're good if you don't like it, it's good. I'd rather be front style than backstab, but I want to know. Right? So, but we know that most of the institutions that we have we have admired, they're all built on books. Some written text about something that we reference. Now, the same thing, you have the same the same capability to write something for your own reference, to write a book, build your life on a booktube, right? The same thing. We get to do it. Back in the day it was very hard, but now it's got much easier. So I say organize yourself, start writing some papers, start coming with some ideas, because you never know you can find something that just as great as ChatGPT, just from organizing with the right people. But you need to be your own people. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 58:52

You know, what I imagine when you were telling the story about these people sitting around, it made me think about, you know, this is the power of accountability groups, right? Or or co-working sessions. I'm I'm actually in a few of them. And, you know, there's times where I I'm like, I don't know if I should go, but every time I've gone, they've always been, you know, really rewarding because it's this, it's this, I don't know what it is. It's like this interesting collective power, right? You're you're all sitting there and nobody, and this is the funniest thing because you when you think about it, if you break it down in the simplest form, you're all hopping on Zoom, you're turning the cameras off, nobody's talking to each other, nobody's writing to each other in the chat, but everybody's working, right? And you're just whatever it is, typing, writing, you know, you're you're doing your work. And you know, I'm thinking about this group of people that you're talking about when they were forming open AI, the ideas that were generated at that time. So I'm thinking of like, you know, look at the power of that. You know, let's say you're somebody that I've never written a book. Well, imagine if we had like these co-working sessions. Because a lot of times here's another thing. I'm I'm trying to think of all the things I've run into over the years when people tell me that, oh, I want to write a book. They're like, I don't know. The what, you know, another question is like, well, where do I start? And a lot of times the the the uh advice is, oh, just start writing. Just start writing. I'm like, it's so vague, right? And but imagine the power of combining that task with the power of a co-working session, and you just know together we're suffering together. We're we're giving our suffering a job in our own right, in our own way, and we're all we're all moving together. We're all moving towards this goal of having this completed project, right? This this book. And so just being in this, it's I think it's just this collective energy. This this collective energy of just being together, just like, hey, you know what? We're we all got our own story, we're we're gonna do it. I'm I'm dedicating this time to this project. You know, we're talking about time blocking and not procrastinating, and you know, I think it's powerful because you never know what kind of ideas are going to be generated in that hour that you're all together.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:04

That is powerful. I have another benefit here, my last one before you roll out. You go from someone who says they're write a book to someone who wrote one. That's another benefit. Because you know, I I go back to the we I think we talked about it a lot a couple of times before. We talk about the the reward of finishing something. It changes a lot in your mindset, right? Sometimes the finish line flips a switch in your mind when you get past it. And when you're behind the finish line, for some reason it has something over you. So it's all about can I get beyond that finish line to see what it activates inside of me? So my my uh one of my goals is to write 86 books about my 86th birthday, right? Massive, massive goal. And I remember when I first said it, because I started off, I was like, what do you want to do before you get leave Planet Air Dasher? Hmm. When do you want to leave Planet Earl Asher? I was like, if I don't really, really pick a date. 85, I'm my 85th birthday, let me go there. And I was at, I think I was at maybe I was like 40 at the time when I did it or something. I was like, I got like 46 years left. What I want to do with my 46 years. Oh man, I'm gonna write a lot of books. I just wanna enjoy the process of writing books. So I started off, you know. I'm I'm on my seventh book now, but but I I started the journey, I'm like, wait a minute. Based on me setting that big ass goal, I knew I couldn't do it by myself, Jen. It has to be involved people, and that changes how I start looking for solutions, looking for other people to work with. And now it's been a it's been an amazing thing. This is like, okay, I love the writing journey, I'm organizing my ideas, I meet a lot of people. Um I love stories because something about story that changes you when you hear it. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:40

The word that came to my brain when you were initially talking about this statement about people saying they'll write a book to someone who wrote one is integrity. And I think keeping our word to ourself is so powerful. And I learned that from my mentor, her name is Kiz and I love her to death. And she taught me this concept where having integrity and keeping your word to yourself is so powerful. What I mean by that is how many times have you told yourself, I'm gonna go do that? I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna go to Machu Picchu one day, I I I'm going to write that, you know, I'm I'm gonna put out that program. And in this case, we're talking about I'm gonna write that book. But every year goes by, you haven't done any of those things. You keep saying that you want to do it, you want to do it, and then, you know, God forbid, we're talking about, let's say you get to 86 and now we're here, it's you there no way in hell you're gonna climb down stairs and batchu peach you. So now we have regret, right? And and that's what I'm talking about. So integrity is keeping your word to yourself. So if you keep saying you're gonna do something and you still haven't done it, this is the scary part. You start creating these neural grooves in your brain. You start training your brain to think, like, oh, here we go again. Uh, she's saying she wants to write that book, and uh, we know she ain't gonna do it. She's she's not gonna do it. So now every time there's this thing, it's it's it's also this energetic thing of this empty, broken promise. Now you start to kind of get used to saying these, and this is also conscious, right? This is like the the mindset stuff, and it's like you don't realize that every time you keep making these promises or these things that you say you want to do and you don't fulfill them, you're training your brain to get used to you not fulfilling them. And that's what I'm talking about, you not keeping your word to yourself and breaking that integrity. I swear, after when I heard this, I was like, oh my gosh, I do not want to do that. I do not want to do that. I want my brain to go, like, oh yeah, here we go. We're gonna do another fun thing. And I think it's also all about changing the perspective on things. Like it may be scary, it may be this unknown territory, it may be something you have no freaking idea how you're gonna do it. But instead of focusing on that stuff, why not focus on, I don't know, this is these are the words that I usually tell myself, I don't know how I'm gonna do it. I don't know how it's gonna happen, but it's gonna happen. And then I let the chips fall where they go. I end up finding the people. I need to hire the right people, whatever I find the right mentor, the guide, whatever program, whatever the heck it is, because I am not cheap when it comes to making money. I will, I will spend the money. I will spend the money and and it gets done. And then I feel good because if we, if you, you know, if you were listening earlier, the benefits of being able not only to complete the project, not only does it help me stay in integrity with myself and keeping my word to myself because I said I was gonna do this and it got done, bigger than just myself. Think about all the people that your book or whatever it is that you're putting out there into the world, think about all the people that you're impacting. And how dare us not put something out because we're scared. We're denying the right of those other people to experience our story, our story. Suffering that's been repurposed, and you never know. You never know from you withholding it in without writing the book. If you don't, if you don't put it out there, think about that life that got missed because they they they weren't able to change it because they didn't hear your story.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:16

That was beautifully said. And there's a place to to me and Jen is gonna build this project. And if you're interested, we just want to know if you're interested. You can go to memors to millions.com slash J E N Jen. There's a form that we we use right now that we can collect in um those that are interesting. We only want those that are interesting. And if you're interested, we reach out and let us know, and we're gonna reach back out and let you know. But I love this because me and Jen got good energy. Here's another thing, right? This is what I love about alignment. What I love about alignment is when you find people, I'm gonna I'm gonna put alignment with abundance. Alignment and abundance, right? When you find people that's aligned, there's so much you can get down. When you think about abundance, my definition of abundance is I got this from I think Salem Ishmael, he's on a uh Mujad podcast. I like this guy. But he says abundance is the absence of constraint, right? The absence of the bottleneck, the absence of that resistance. When that moves out the way, what happens? Everything moves freely. So abundance means that what you want, you can get it, what you need, you can have it. There's nothing standing in your way. That's abundance. It doesn't mean that you're gonna have a bunch of things sitting around and wasteful. No, that's not abundance. Abundance means if I want it, I can get it. Right? If I have if I don't want all the all the money in the world, I just want access to it. That's abundance, right? The thing you want, you can get it. So now when you meet people that have the energy of abundance, the capability to remove the constraint, so much can happen because everything flows too freely. There's no clogging of the pipe. Water is coming through, gushing. When you want it, turn it on, it comes. Turn it off, it goes, right? That's control and that's abundance. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:50

I think it's so important to pay attention to what is in your life that's creating those blockages, whether it's literal or figurative. So maybe there's some things that, you know, fit in your physical space that's creating the whatever. Maybe it's it's maybe your work area is a mess, right? That's a block. That's a physical block. Like it's it's it's literally messing with your creativity. So clear that away. Or if it's metaphorically, there could be relationships that you need to sever or keep, you know, I I jokingly say this there. Sometimes some of us have people in our lives that we just need to love from afar, especially if they're relatives, right? Like you just have to love from afar because you can't get rid of some of them, right? But you can put some distance because some people just have negative attitudes, negative energy. So, you know, to me, I'm I'm looking at it from the standpoint of these blocks that are gonna get in your way of, you know, whether it's your creativity or getting in the way of your progress, or even just getting in the way of you just saying yes to yourself, right? So we we need to kind of purge and look at where are the different things in our lives and in the different parts of our lives that we need to clear these blocks because the sooner and the faster you can do that, the more that, like, you know, after was saying, like the water just flows. It things do flow. It's it's an energetic thing. You hear me say it all the time, but I I live by this stuff. Like there is a flow of energy that that happens when you start to do these things, the ideas come faster, you get faster downloads. I mean, if I meditate and pray, like I get immediate answers. It's it's wild. And then things just kind of flow, and then because there's a congruency and alignment and abundance happening at the same time. So if you're wondering, like, I feel stuck, how come nothing's happening? I'm telling you, it's probably because there are some blocks that you need to pay attention to and get rid of.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:46

With that, this is a great chat, Jen.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:48

Of course.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:50

My biggest takeaway is the girl, the girl loves cheese, but she respect the whiskers.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:57

My biggest takeaway is be the second mouse. And give and give all your suffering a job. Employ, employ all your sufferings.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:09

I love it. I love it. All right, folks, this was a great chat. Again, don't forget to subscribe and share, and I'll see you on the other side.