SPEAKER_02 0:00

When it comes to the poor class, the people that are affected the most are women and children.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

The world was happening without people being able to read.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

This generation is depending on people giving them the answers than to find it for themselves. Well, Dad, I just see you on your phone. Why can't I be on my phone?

SPEAKER_03 0:18

Your parents are your past and your future at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

If we stop reading entirely, it's almost like we use less and less of our brains. We're getting busy, but we're not necessarily productive. You're just distracted and just doing things.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

And if I can always train myself to avoid discomfort, I'm training myself to be less than human.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

But before reading was a thing, storytelling was a thing.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

She's evil, she's insane, she's a victim, she's a m. It's like pick one.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

We want to hold on to the good old days. Who's still doing good?

SPEAKER_00 1:08

A lot of these polarizing news stories come out and they reveal, you know, very deeper truths in us that we don't spend enough time sitting with because they're too complex, so we want to rush to a judgment.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

As a society, it's like, are we creating the future that people don't want to be a part of?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

As we continue to evolve, the human side of us starts to recognize oh, but we're all really exactly the same.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

Utterly, utterly fantastic day. Yeah. Every memory got a meaning. Every meaning got a myth. Memoirs to millions. Good morning, good evening, wherever you are in the world. We have some beautiful people today to have a conversation with. And they're gonna be the memories of millions around the table discussion with the incredible Dr. Ranisha, uh Joshua, and Adeze. And today's theme is around trust in the creator. That means trust in yourself as the person who has thought and then does something real with it. Before we keep a topic, we ask one thing. Does this help the listener trust their own creator? And um, we have a few topics. We have four topics on the dock on the docket today. We're gonna talk about number one is the role of a wife. Number two, is it a relationship? The basics are missing. Number three, kids can't read. And number four, the Lindsay Clancy trial. We're gonna talk about that today. So stick around and let's get into the conversation. So the first thing on the docket is the role of a wife. But before we get into that, Josh, if you don't mind, open up, let's tell the audience a little bit about you so the folks that haven't heard you before get to understand a little bit about you.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Yeah, no, thank you. Thank you, Asher. Such a uh blessing to be on with these beautiful people, as you uh mentioned. A little bit about myself, former executive for a big telecommunications company. So experience in managing people, large teams, leading various uh dynamics and perspectives. Um, I also am an executive coach, so left the corporate world to hold space for folks that need space to unfold and um confront some truths about themselves that may be comfortable or uncomfortable. I also love to uh hold hospitality space in the way of a MC and DJ. So I uh spin music, help people celebrate their forever. I watch a lot of people coincidentally become wives every weekend uh as I uh as I spin the tunes for them. Yeah, and then I'm building something as a passion project that I am a bit of a curator and creative using music to help people disconnect and reconnect with the humans in front of them called the listening room. So a little bit about myself. I am a husband and I have three little people, so I am a father as well, and uh wear many hats in uh my personal life as well. So, anyway, a little bit about me, brother.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

All right, a little bit, just keep it a little bit, right? We're gonna spread it out across the conversation. Let's go to Adeze. Adeze is my incredible Nigerian sister. So go ahead, talk, talk to us.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Oh my goodness. Thank you for that, Joshua, because I always forget my past career. So I'm a mechanical engineer by train. I worked in the oil and gas industry for 20 years. I can't believe it. And I did literally everything because I'm very curious. I always take care of so I did engineering design, construction, operations, and of course worked in senior leadership as well. And kind of like Joshua, before I left, and now that I'm here, I also hold space for women in STEM because I know what my experience was like being the only or one of a few. And then if you now add the other layer, because my organization is African women in STEM. So being a black woman too also makes it very challenging. Um, we deal with that at work, and you also have to deal with expectations from your family and your culture, which are like on another level. Okay, succeed at all costs. Okay, let's figure that out. So that's what I do with my organization. So basically, helping women go from experts to impactful leaders and doing it through the power of relationships because we need each other really. I also have other passions and interests, like Jeffrey said. So I'm also a TEDx coach. I did my I give my TEDx talk and I absolutely love it. And I want to convince every single person I know to do a TEDx talk. I'm doing it a lot for free, and now I do coach as well on that. And I'm a mom, you know. I have a husband that is amazing because again, my mind goes at a thousand miles an hour, and he's just like, whatever, let's just do it. And I have two kids that oh my goodness, they can be honest because they're not like me when I was growing up, so they'll ask all the questions, and I'm like, okay. I have to lean into their curiosity as well. So I'm excited to be here.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Powerful. Oh, you guys are meeting, you're meeting an incredible team here. And we got Dr. Renisha. Talk to us, lady.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

I'm also excited to be here. You know, I feel like when you're from the US, you don't really say where you're from, but I'm gonna rep my Guyanese people, my family from Guyana, so rep up to it. You know, I just like to say that. But um, I am a single mother of two, I can't call them small people, but they're not really adults, although they think they're grown. I'm a social work by profession. This allows me to have a private practice reset and restart. So you see me rep in my practice. I hope my mission is to uh heal broken homes and doing that by way of just being creative and creating safe spaces for people to have authentic conversations about relationships and how to heal from brokenness. And then I'm also a teacher, so I teach at university, um, helping build other agents of change to do this beautiful work. And then I'm here just kind of jumping into spaces such as the virtual world and however we can kind of get information to the ears of our people will do that. So that's a little bit about me.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

This episode is sponsored by Live Chinamas the Marketplace, the own for artists who own their stories and their business, your book, your merch, your audience. One storefront, you keep 80%, you own your customer list, you build a relationship, real relationship with the readers. If that sounds like the way you want to run your business, visit lifechangingwisdom.com. Perfect. Well, no, you guys met the team. The team is real and the team is here. Uh, we're gonna be consistent about this. So that we're gonna jump into the first topic on the docket here. It's about the role of a wife. And a clip that kicked off this argument about what a wife's supposed to do today. This is the opinion, not a fact. Nothing is we're gonna pretty much take the fact and tell the truth here about. But the question is, what should a what should the role of a wife be today? We're talking about marriage and we're talking about just being a spouse or somebody or a husband in a family. So when we talk about what the role of a of a wife, Josh, what you what do you think that's supposed to be? What's the role of a wife?

SPEAKER_00 7:48

You went to me first, brother.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

I went to you first. Yeah. We gotta plant the flag and then we gotta see oh he blows where he blows.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Okay, so I struggle with the word role a little bit. Because I think marriage means that, you know, it isn't this this license to do whatever the hell you want to do. Um, there's obviously responsibilities and things that need to get done. But I think the term when we say what's the role of a wife, you know, my first question would be according to who? Right, because is that according to the husband, the mom, what you grew up in, and you unknowingly picked up what you think the role of a wife is that might have been suitable for that, what you saw in your home, if you're, you know, two-parent home, or what you saw somebody else do. You know, is this the role according to the church or what you've been viewing on TikTok, right? So there's a there's multiple ways that are informing what the role of a wife is. And this is the thing. We don't slow down enough to get clear on well, what role are you talking about, and according to who. We start to absorb assumptions about the role of people, but specifically a wife. We start to build a life on that without the other person's consent that we're aligned on what the role of a wife is. You know, for just to push a little further, I think that, you know, as people, oftentimes we want the role of the person that we love or a wife or whatever it is to fit into a performance of what we have in our head that may not necessarily match where that person is for themselves. It might include all the traditions, it may include none of them. But having the conversation consciously about okay, what role are you playing? Because that adjusts. I knew even my wife and I. It started off one way with a lot of garbage we brought in from well, I saw my wife do this. I mean, I saw my mom do this for my dad. Well, I saw my mom do this for my dad, and now we're we're we're running off the script and it's misaligned because we're not talking about it, we're assuming everybody knows what a wife is, and we start listing traditions in Disney movies and what we see on sitcoms like the Cosby's and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and all these things. And it's funny because I think Martin challenged that a little bit, right? You start to see someone live what I call I grew up in the church, so they were shacking. And then, you know, that was a no, no. But my dad loved the show. Anyway, I'm getting a little bit off topic actually, but that's what I got. That's what I got so far. That's what I got so far.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Okay, okay. I like this. I won't I won't give my my my statement yet, but I'll wait for the ladies to drop in. But I like what you said according to who, and then when we think about user's manual, right? User manual is built for a user or users, right? But it has to be built for the user. So then we think about the role, right? We're talking about role. We gotta figure out we gotta define it's something that we have to define, but who defined it? I like according to who defined that. So then a day say, you've been a spouse, a wife. How would you answer that question?

SPEAKER_02 10:41

I have so many things to say about it because just for context, I'm very women-centric and girl-centric, and I've been that way since I was little. Because I used to read a lot, and I read a lot of English novels, and they had all these novels they were written around the time of, I don't know what was happening in England at the time, but there was so much poverty. And when it comes to the poor class, the people that are affected the most are women and children. They have no say, they cannot work, they can't take care of themselves, they can't defend themselves. So I've always wanted to change that. And as I grew up, it that this whole thing didn't change. I realized that in my culture there are things that women just go through simply because they're women. Because again, back to what Joshua said, according to who somebody came and decided several years down and that I'm realizing that some of those things actually came with Christianity and colonization, because some of our cultures in Africa, the women were freer before they came with colonization, and they were just kind of tightened things up. But I'm gonna go with what Joshua said about Disney movies because I just saw something on Instagram this week, and it just reminded me, I don't know if you guys remember, there was this clip that went viral during COVID where a mom was basically saying that she doesn't like what they did to Osler in the movie Little Mermaid because come on, you know. And that was the first time I actually thought about it. Was like, if you really think about it, I mean she has a point. Okay, what did what really did Osla do? We we just uh introduced the movie and see her as this evil, wicked witch and bad, and we don't even bother to think about the fact that maybe she feels that her brother cut her off, maybe she felt that she got a shot end of the stick, and then when you're sad, you kind of lash out. But then this week again on Instagram, I saw this where you're talking about the fact to your point where they actually condition women, and they did this so well. What the lady said is that if I wanted to make women do so and so, here's what I'll do. And she basically described all Disney movies, but I was like, Well, I don't have to do it, do that because Disney has been doing this since the beginning of time. So basically, they tell you, I mean, Belle, you married a monster. It's okay if the guy is as ugly as whatever, it's a guy. All right, sleeping beauty, what did you do? I don't know. You just learned that you woke up and a guy found you. Wonderful, I won a prize. It's almost like you just have to be and get chosen, be and get chosen. And all the women that were independent, either financially or it had their own mindset. I'm also gonna bring up the one about Little Memory where they talk about you have to sacrifice back towards the role of a woman. So she has to sacrifice everything for this one man. But the women that were independent spoke spoke their minds, and all of that were branded as women. So you see why I say why I have a lot of issues, I don't even know where to start, but it's according to who really, you know, but unfortunately, for the longest time, my thing on this is that I think we just figured out our women are very strong. And because again, back to someone keeps saying, if you spend so much time trying to control someone or talking about the person and claiming that they have no power and they have nothing, do you really believe that? Because if you believe that, you will let them be, they will just destroy themselves by themselves, you know. So I feel like this whole role of women thing is just because people realize how powerful women were over time and have spent millennia and probably millions of years trying to define a role to contain.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

Alright, so here's my thoughts, and then we go to Dr. Ranisha here. So at the when I think when I when we think about role, I want to go with role first, and then we talk about women. So, role is pretty much a specialization and expertise, right? A skill set. So then when you think about who's gonna do what role based on your skill set, based on the expertise, based on the unique ability, who's gonna do what role? So then two persons gotta decide if we come together as partners, as two people, if I if I met you in the middle of the jungle and I said, hey man, we gotta get out of here, and you're like, hey bro, I know the fight, and like, bro, but I only got one eye, somebody gotta, somebody gotta start leading, right? And I'm I'm gonna pick who has the vision, who can see further, who can help me fend my way out of this jungle. But so it's all about the role. Based on the skill set, based on the specialization. So when you say that woman is skill, skill at what thing, and man is skill at what thing. So we decide what role it's gonna be, what role you're gonna play. And once you once you agree on the role, then you play your role. And then there's a conflict, we decipher what's going on with us playing a role. Now, as far as being a woman, I can tell you to be a woman. I'm a man, and I'm a man. You can tell me you'll be a man, you're a woman. But then we gotta come to an agreement here. So, Dr. Winnie, when you think about the role of a woman, what comes to mind for you?

SPEAKER_01 15:26

So the answers so far, I feel, are the safest answers yet. I think who's defining it is key, but then what's the purpose of marriage is another aspect of it, right? I don't think the role of a wife is the only identity for a woman. I just think it's a role. I think women can play multiple roles. And I think when we start thinking historically, women have not been allowed to play more than one role. Sometimes it's like they're seen as just a wife, and that's it. But I think over time, women have been able to play multiple roles, right? They're they have a role in the work industry, they have a role in their community, they have a role at home, and those roles are not necessarily specifically defined, they're very unique. But when we're talking about what is the purpose of marriage, I think roles do come into play, right? And I think how you define those roles are unique to some of what Joshua said, right, in terms of either culture, religion, upbringing, personal experience. I don't think there's a wrong answer, but I think it really depends on what the purpose of marriage is. So I see marriage as a team. In that team, you are trying to build, right? And I think when you're thinking about family and legacy and how the functionality of that is, there are roles within that. Right. And so I think fundamentally as a wife, your role to your spouse is to be supportive and uplifting, and there's a level of respect for one another. And if that person is the leader, just like you respect leadership in other entities, I think there's a level of respect in that space as well. But I think women have to have a say in their in their marriage in order for there to be that mutuality of I trust you enough to be a leader, but I know that you trust me enough to give insight in terms of how to get there, where we're going. So that's my two cents, because I'm not married yet, but that's my perspective.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

I love your perspective on that one. That's very telling of how you think about things. But based on what the ladies have said today, Josh, I would love to hear your thoughts on all of this, and then we're gonna go to the next thing on the docket. And if unless unless somebody has got another thought on that.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Yeah, there's so many things here. What is standing out to me the loudest is you know, I'm not anti-role, I'm just anti-unexamined roles. We inherit a lot, the where we were born, what part of the world we were born in, what we've inherited, and we're all walking around with an autopilot script that we have not examined. And oftentimes we don't examine it until a rupture takes place, a pain is administered, a betrayal has come to light. And the whole time we've been programmed and we don't spend enough time listening and analyzing and getting clear on well, what program have I unconsciously just adapted because this is what I picked up just growing up in where I grew up. And then you in and not to get overly simplistic about it, but you know what happens when my wife is better at a thing than I am, but I was taught I'm supposed to be the thing, the leader, right? So now I'm adapting a role around protecting. I was in, you know, so my wife and I are in therapy as just a part of our uh relationship gymnastics. Our it's our gym, right? We go there to work it out. You know, we can't do it alone, right? And many times the role of a wife or a spouse, especially nowadays, has been this conglomeration of all the people at one time that helped different positions in your community, your tribe, your village. And now we've just put all those people and say, now you're the everything for me. You're supposed to do this, you're supposed to do that, you're supposed to do that. And then you start looking at the list. And it's we can play the game, you know, especially during the honeymoon period for a season. Then you start being like, Well, you used to do this and you don't do that anymore. Well, you used to do this. Why can't you why can't you keep that same energy? Why are you still not chasing and dating me? Well, my bandwidth now requires me to think through the finances, pick up the kids, so the creative energy that I have when I could just see you once a week and perform my best for two, three hours and then be on and give you a mind-blowing experience at the end of the night. Yeah, I can't do that living with you every day. The expectation is too much. Because you now I gotta now I gotta fill all these buckets of what it means to be a husband, what it means to be a wife, and see that conversation ends up becoming quiet. Now we're resentful because we were sold a dream about well, I thought, you know, well, my parents have been married for 50 years. Yeah, but you don't know about the 25-year relationship, half of the relationship. Somebody was seeing somebody outside the relationship just to maintain some sanity to come home and continue the performance. Oh, we can't talk about that because at one time that was just the norm. I had a person for this, I had a person. Now, I'm not, come on, welcome me now. I'm not I'm not advocating for anything. I'm just uh asking us to think a little bit about how we got here and why these roles are so important, yet they're given without context, they're given without agreement. We just start to adapt and assume, well, this is how a wife acts, this is how a husband acts. And you might not have any of the skill set to be able to do that consistently and sustainably over the duration of a marriage. And so, you know, these other things come into play, betrayal and this and all these other things, and we blame it on the person and we take it personally. We just have some unexamined roles that need to be um unearthed and some new agreements made as we continue to talk about what it means to be in partnership for the long time of the long term. That's about two cents, Asher.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

If you're enjoying this podcast right now, I've launched a platform, memoirsamillions.com, where I help authors, former authors, or people that want to be authors, write their book, publish their book, format their book, edit their book. It's a whole one-stop shop for your book journey. So go there to memo some minor.com and check it out and see you on the inside. Yes, speaking of unexamined role, we're gonna transition to the next topic on the on the docket here. So the next one is um, is it a relationship if the basics are missing? So the question is now is what are the basics a relationship has to have to be real? And I'm gonna transition to a daisy, but you can also follow up on what Josh said early if you have anything to say about that and then tie into that question itself.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

I mean, definitely Josh kind of hit the thing because we don't take time to examine what we're In and then giving it, you know, seeing the context around it and giving us the same opportunity to actually like develop naturally. We just kind of want to carry things from the past and just pump it in. Same thing to what you said about you know what really defines a relationship. Like, you know, the same things we talked about in the first thing affects this as well. People really don't sit down, especially when you know they meet each other for the first time, to talk about what the basics of the relationship should be and what it should be built upon. Because again, this is not generalization, this is not the same thing for everybody, but in general, most people are kind of looking for the other person. So you're looking for someone, you have something in your mind, the other person is looking for someone, they have something in mind. They've probably met a couple of people within white work out and they might now be the person that works out. It's almost you're so relieved that you don't want to mess it up. So you just tell yourself it's going to work simply because this is the best of all of them, you know. So because of that, we don't really get to take time to define, you know, what the foundation of the relationship should be, what the basics should be, what it should be on. I mean, people think in their mind, of course, trust is there. That's basic. But what does trust really mean? What does trust mean for you? What does trust mean for her? You could say, okay, people might have their different love languages that wanted to buy me gifts. The other person has like, I absolutely hate shopping. Does it have to be that a person has to meet your love language, for example? Or can you figure out a way to make it work? So I think we've gone for a long time as human beings, just almost being an autopilot and doing things the way they've always been done, just because whether you like it or not, you do absorb a lot of things as you grow up and you watch television and now there's social media and you see all these things and you form this thing in your head. But I think, especially if you find yourself in a relationship that you really want to become something, one of the first things you should do is not be afraid to actually define certain things for yourself and make sure you're on the same page because leaving it till later means that your expectations of a woman are not met, his expectations as a man is not met, and then there's some level of resentment, and then one day it's gonna blow up, and then you decide that all men are horrible or all women are horrible, or it's whatever it is, but it you would have just taken not being afraid to have those, you know, conversations that will uncover things just because you're so relieved that I don't have to search anymore. I think I've found the person, and let's not, you know, rock the boat.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Something triggered me today. Um listening to you guys talk. Have you ever found yourself searching for something you're you have or searching for something that's missing? Or looking for something that you have or looking for something that's missing. When you were searching out there for something, you're not searching for something you already have. If you have it, you won't be searching for it. You're searching for something that's missing. So when we're looking for that thing from somebody else in our life to partner up with us or to be part of our life, we're looking for things that's missing. But I think we should be looking for things that we have. That's just my take on it. But the nature of us is to find things that's missing that we want. So, Dr. Renisha, when you when you think about it, is it a relationship if the basics are missing? What comes to mind for you? What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 25:14

And these are all subjective aspects of things, right? But what comes to mind is it's a commitment to whatever the set conditions are, is my thought, right? And I think that brings up compatibility in terms of what people set as conditions, whether it's based on things that are missing, based on just somebody's physical attraction, whatever the set conditions are, it's whatever that's what you're committing to. I think if people are getting their needs met, if there's a level of respect, um, some type of attraction, quality, time, I think the biggest factor is because we live in such a culture where people are defining relationships so broadly, like you got situationships, you got all the way to marriage, right? And people are committed to these conditions. They're not necessarily always favorable, but they're committed to these conditions and they're in some type of relationship that they're loyal to or they're giving their time to. But I think when you're talking about healthy versus unhealthy, that gets subjective to individuals based on how their needs are getting met. So I think that's my only perspective because it's such a subjective term.

SPEAKER_03 26:21

All right. Well, we got we got it, we got everybody's thoughts on the on this thing here. We I know we're gonna be talking about this a lot more in the future, but just want to spark a little bit of of thought in your head. And we're gonna transition to the next the next idea here. It's the kids can't read. And I saw a video about this. Um, and you've probably seen it this one. I think a couple a couple different teachers in school were saying that, man, kids today just they they can't read. And it made me think about whether or not communication moving away from reading altogether. Like, is it something that we really need in the future? Is the future we're going into requires us to being able to read? Because remember, for a long period of time, people in the world was not able to read. So the world was evolved, the world was happening without people being able to read. That was part of the world for a long period of time, and people humans we thrive. The question is, because we have we've we're we know that most of the the history of the world is written, do you need to be able to read it? Because all we're talking about is is the past. We're studying the past, right? Your parents are your past and your future at the same time. So if you gotta study them same thing, what happened? You gotta study all these things. So now, how do you go back into does reading is a requirement for the future? And how do we feel about the kids today that can't read? So I'm gonna swing this to you, uh Daisy. I know you into you you're a STEM lady, so I want your thoughts on this one first. We can go to Dr. Renese and then we go to Joshua.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Yeah, I think I'm gonna approach it from a parent's perspective a little bit. Because when I saw that, I was like, oh my goodness, I see it happen. For example, my daughter, hope she doesn't see this. She could always read from when she was a baby. Like, if you read something to her once, she'll memorize it, and then she'll read the book like she knows the book. So we figured it out. So if you want her to read something new, we wouldn't. So, but she always read like two or three grades above her grade level. Now she's in middle school, the desire is not as much as it used to be. I want to say it's probably because somewhere along the line, she still loves to read. We go to the library, they'll borrow like 20 books or 40 bucks. Somewhere along the line, you know, social just having the device, which again, us being parents in this generation, if we don't have the same structure that our parents had, which is you I grew up with Nigeria, so maybe it's a bit different. You had support, you had assistance, you had someone that could watch your kids. Kids who are quite independent, they didn't need you all the time. Well, here is the it's different. So for most parents, you just kind of hand your kids the device. And I think what the device ended up doing over the years is just kind of made kids desire things that are fast. Reading is not fast. They want to swipe and swipe and swipe and swipe again. That's why my kids can't even watch TV. Because if they get bored, how do you swipe to the next thing? So reading actually actually slows them down, and and most kids right now they don't really know how to slow down. But do I think that reading is necessary? Yes, I do, because I I think I saw something recently where is it Anthropic is trying to hire people that can actually write and they're paying them multi-six figures because most people write with AI now, but they need people that can write original stuff. So if you did English literature or you love writing, that could be a really great job for you. Because the thing with AI is it collects data and it just kind of forms an opinion and everybody takes it, everybody begins to sound the same. I still think people should still be able to read. I know you can ask AI to read something for you, but it is necessary for creativity, I believe. So even if you're not reading it because the school system is set up to where you have to read stuff, I think if we stop reading entirely, it's almost like we use less and less of our brains. That's that's what I feel, really. And I can say that our our kids in this generation are not are not as creative as we were growing up because we just had to make things happen. So I feel like if we stop reading entirely, it's just going to take away creativity. And I just wonder what we're human beings would be if we're not able to create back to why we're having this conversation today.

unknown 30:22

Dr.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

Ranisha, what are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Knowledge is power. The good book says we perish for a lack of it. So I think relying on someone interpreting things for you can be dangerous, and I think it opens up the vulnerability of the lack of critical thinking. So even all the conversations we've had so far, we're asking good questions in terms of like who critiques this, who assessed this, who defines this. Well, it's easy for things to be defined for you if you're not critically thinking to come to your own decision and conclusion. And I think the world that we live in, there's a lot of information, but not all of it is truth. So you can create a lot of deception to individuals who don't research and look for things and find connections and all of the things. And I do I do think it impacts the way your brain works and the capacity to comprehend what you're reading because you we all can read the same book and have four different interpretations. And it doesn't mean that we're wrong, but it's going to mean something different to me than you. And that's the power of words, it's power of reading. So I think we take that away when you're only listening to what people are just telling you or saying. And so I think this generation is depending on people giving them the answers than to find it for themselves without being individuals who are taught to read the different books and come to a conclusion. I think that that takes away that skill that I think is needed when it comes to making decisions that are best for you, as opposed to someone just telling you what the outcome is. And I and I think the teachers are frustrated because it's hard to teach you a new skill if you don't have that capacity. Like it's a building block, right? I can't teach you the skill if you don't have the fundamental building block. So it all has a domino effect. I think there are gaps since COVID, right? But I don't think it's the only thing. I think how many parents read? Right. I think we I think people get caught up in like, we're getting busy, but we're not necessarily productive. You're just distracted and just doing things. But how often do you take the time to really pay attention to the small details? Right. How many people sit and do homework with their children? Right? They all got Chromebooks and little laptops, and it's like, oh, it was sent to me, I sent it to the teacher. You don't even get to see it. It went from the laptop straight to the teacher. Versus before you could look at the paper, you can mark it up. So I think there's a lot of aspects of technology that are impacting this process. And I don't think we can only blame the children. I always say who's teaching your child, right? A lot of teaching starts at home. You know, I know when I my little ones, I used to read to them, then they started reading to me, and that was a whole routine before bedtime. And as they get older, it's not so much. But I do think everybody has to take accountability for this lack of literature and reading. That's my sense.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

I am glad you're enjoying the podcast. Before we continue, I have a gift for you. Since 2016, I have read and listened to over 900 books so far. It's gonna be a thousand. And I organized them into a library and handpicked the top 100 books I recommend to my clients, my friends, and the people in my community. Books on storytelling, language, and personal growth, and building something from your own life. If you're watching this podcast and you're looking for your next great read, this library is your gift. It is free. Go to AsherAlbertWright.com and check out the One Thousand Book Challenge. This is my gift to you. Now back to the conversation. So for the folks that are listening, I am not against reading. But uh, but uh but I do want to take a counterposition here a little bit. Because when I was listening to the teacher, was their frustration saying the kids can't read. So remember, in 1440, that's when Gutenberg invented the printing press, right? And from that time period, we've been doing a lot of printing of text. So then the marketplace got exploded with printing stuff, right? Even the glasses got in business because now when people start reading, they realize, wait a minute, I was partially blind to know how to get glasses. Because we didn't know that because we wasn't reading. So you you realize your vision was blurred, but reading made you aware of that, right? Not just in words, but also in vision, right? But it made me think about the teachers are frustrated because the tools they're using, they can't use it on the kids, which is teach them how to read. But before reading was a thing, storytelling was a thing. I used to just listen to things. Like you don't have to put me in the text for me to understand it. Because prior to the written text was somebody that wrote the text. But it's still an interpretation process the whole way. But can I look at a thing and interpret it my way of just looking at it without reading it? We go back to critical thinking. Is reading the only way you can critically think? I don't think so. It's a way though, and it's very useful over the years, but most of what we have today is written, but now we can record it. There's other ways. So the tools are evolving, it's not just reading only. So the tools are evolving, so that means kids can learn other than just reading. If I'm if reading is getting too boring, can you give me a new tool for me to get the information the same way? So that's another thought to it. But I'm a fan of reading because I think there's so much out there in reading that we need to go ahead and and and get stuff up. But I'm just thinking about it. If the tools that you're you're taught to use to teach your kids no longer work, can you create a new tool? Can you find a new tool to teach them the same outcome just as much as reading was in the text? Josh, I saw you bumping up with it. What you got? What are you thinking about?

SPEAKER_00 35:44

So so many valid points. I think the part that stands out to me is you know, we've got more access to information ever in our life than we know what to do with and do with responsibly. You know, there's at some point there was a technological breakthrough that included taking the oral tradition and hammering it out on a on a tablet. Are the tablet skill, tablet inscription skills gone for a lot of folks? Probably, right? Because there's been an invention that's replaced that. I don't, it's not necessarily can kids read. There's always going to be some human invention that's going to try to replicate or enhance or make something more efficient in our live reality. But the part, and this is again, I know we ain't really got into this, but this is this is one of the reasons why there's been so much success with my experience called the listening room, is it forces people to remove the distractions to sit down and sit with something that may be uncomfortable, or you might be aligned with it. But we're so programmed now, especially our children. Oh, I'm so busy, I don't have enough time to sit with you and do your homework. So when you see me on my phone, true story, I'm working, I'm making money for the house. Well, dad, I just see you on your phone. Why can't I be on my phone? Now, as an elder millennial, I think we have the benefit, especially if you've gone through some type of formal education, not that you've had had to, or you've gotten your degree on the street and you have a level of street smarts. What's missing when we curate an environment for you to just fall in love with being stimulated? And oh, that was exciting for 20 seconds, off to the next thing. I'm constantly searching for things that remove discomfort in exchange for things that fascinate me. That's why the views are awesome because they reflect to us, oh, somebody found a lot of sugar. And what I was saying, it was emotionally stimulating, and it gets all the nothing wrong with it, because we're all looking for the views, maybe. But what the to me, what the what it mirrors back is we're addicted to making sure that whatever our idle time is being used, whatever I'm consuming, just makes me feel good about being human. Feel good about like how many feel-good things and dopamine rushes can I get to ignore or sitting with a text, a song, music that makes me uncomfortable, or I might not necessarily agree. So then I don't have to develop any critical thinking skills because the only thing I'm looking for is more sugar to consume, right? And then it takes over the way I think, and then I don't really have to rely on, oh, I'm uncomfortable. Let me make an impulsive decision to make myself feel better and not feel uncomfortable. And that may look like hours and hours of scrolling, calling it research because I'm a creative and I need it for more things that make me feel good and avoid maybe some of the deeper things in me that I'm not critically thinking about anymore. And that's as an elder millennial. I can only imagine what our children are growing up in when their whole existence is about. Oh, doesn't apply to me. Don't need to listen to it. Oh, this applies to me. I like the way this makes me feel. So everything becomes this chase around making us feel better. And so reading or not reading, that's a great entryway to a conversation about how are we spending time sitting with ourselves and being uncomfortable? Because that's a part of being human too. A part of our power comes from uncomfortable situations. And if I can always train myself to avoid discomfort, I'm training myself to be less than human.

SPEAKER_03 39:17

And with that said, we we have we have tapped into a lot of things. Dr. Renice, you got your fingers over your mouth. I'm you know, I'm gonna come to you next.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

The doc gotta talk. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Just a quick comment. You know, what as I think about it, I'm like, is it sad though that I can hear the words but never know how to spell it? Because it, you know what I mean? At the end of the day, even if we're talking about technology, you know, progressing, is that still a sad case that I can hear the words, but I never know how to even sell it. I mean, spell it or print like somebody can write it and you're s what you're saying. I mean, outside of us transcribing everything, if you can't read, so you can hear the words. But technically you would never know how to spell it. You would never know how to identify it in a book. And that's what I mean by fundamentals. So I agree with all of the things in terms of the different avenues to teach. I still think it goes back to the fundamentals in terms of like you would I would hate for my children to know how to hear it, like you know, I I but I don't really know what it means. I really don't know how to even spell it. So that's my two cents. I'm I'm done, I promise.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

Yes, and two two more seconds, because we think that there has not that it doesn't, but right now we've attached to what you're saying a value to being able to recognize words because that means something, that means access to something. But at one time in our human history, people were illiterate. Not that we need to be, not I'm not saying that that's right or wrong, but we're moving through a point in our tech technological advancements where we're losing things, but we're also it's being we're also being given things that may not fit where we've been. And it's about well, how do I look at a body of information? Because there's so many robots everywhere that can summarize things and give me the two cents that I need to make an informed decision. That's going to interrupt our reality more and more. So then if that's what's coming, what do we need to prepare for in terms of how we consume data versus, well, I know how to read it and I know what not that we don't need this skill, but I think the larger question is what do we do with a world where everything is readily accessible, much like the movement from you know, people thought libraries are going out of business when the internet came out, you know, because it's gonna be able to, I think there's gonna be a a pressure test around is this BS or is this really applicable to empowering the human experience? And we have to be taught how to do that. And that looks like words and you know, being able to recognize that. But to me, the deeper part is how do we use these technological advances and be critically intelligent about how they're applicable, that is coming faster than I think where we are now is like, well, we we just need kids to be able to do basic reading and writing. And there's yeah, please, yeah, yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 41:59

This is the thing we're advancing, however, because I'm just thinking of the legal ramifications of all this. So, right now, as the way the world is right now, for the force, at least for as far as we can see, if you can read, you can get AI to summarize things for you, you can tell you what it is and go away with it, and then you get into trouble. And the first thing they're gonna ask you is, Did you read? Did you agree to that? Yes, you agreed to it, but you didn't even read it. It probably wasn't even the right thing. So I still think until that changes, in spite of all the advancement, we still need to be able to read, at least in this our world. Because let's say you never have to get into trouble, that's fine. But the moment you do, you find out that the thing that will catch you or that'll be the biggest issue for you is the fact that you couldn't read or you couldn't make sense of the words, or you didn't, and because of that you didn't understand it, and now that's no excuse. You still get in trouble.

SPEAKER_03 42:51

I hope you're enjoying this video so far. I have a new platform that logical life change marketplace, and it's a place where authors can publish their book. If you're an author right now, you can publish your book, and you get to understand who you're the people that buy your book. That means a customer, you get the information now, you can build a business around them. So go check out lifechangewisdom.com if you want to learn more about that. This is interesting. I think all of this is this is how jobs are created, by the way. Because one modality, we move away from it and it becomes Egyptology. You gotta go to school to study it to understand it. So I'm I'm listening to Ades. I'm like, okay, did you read it? But that's why that's why a lawyer exists, because most people don't understand the text in the lawyer terms, right? So eventually we're gonna move away from certain things that becomes like studying Egyptology. You gotta go, it's it's like studying history now, it becomes a part of history. Reading might become a part of history, like only certain people study reading because everything else could be summarized by a robot, like we said, that gives us the thing. And if you don't understand, I can't read. Well, go find somebody that knows to read so they can help you figure it out. No, you gotta hire them. That's a job now, right? It's an historical job, but there's so much here. There's so much shit, but we gotta move along. We gotta move along. So and you can always tie this back into answering the next question. So the last topic on the docket here today is the Lindsay Clancy trial. So let me read the background here. A Massachusetts mother admitted killing her three children in 2023. Her defense is that she was not in her right mind. The case is really about mothers and mental health. The jury is deadlocked, and the judge told them to keep going as of September 1st. So and she grew up in Connecticut for some reason. I didn't know that. But the question I'm asking here for you guys, because Josh is the one that brought us in, uh brought us in and Dr. Renese, you brought this in too as well. Was what is the public actually arguing about here? Blame, sympathy, or judgment? And I would just like to kind of like dive into this because I'm quite sympathetic, empathetic in a little way with this, because I was looking past the person itself and looking at the situation. Why do so many women feel that way about this thing or this incident? And it got me thinking about maybe something is going on with motherhood that is so stressful, that is so exhausting, that is in a certain way that people feel a certain way about it. And then if I'm medicated as a mother, that's even put me even more on the edge because now I'm losing my mind. Maybe the kids are causing me to lose my mind, but this other medication caused me to lose my mind. And then being a wife, right? So all of these things are playing a role, but then going back to looking at this incident itself, what is it telling us about society right now? What's going on in the minds of people? So I'm gonna go with you, Adeze, since you just you spoke last and we go to Dr. Manish, we go to Joshua.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

Oh my goodness. Um, two things. I strongly believe that the reason we're having this conversation is you know, primarily because of COVID. Because I'm gonna say, you know, especially being from where I'm from, mental health is not something that we're really considered. So now we understand what mental health is. And then the other thing too is also going back to what we talked about earlier, what is the role of a woman? Say, I don't know if she's married, I don't know if she's a single mom, I didn't go into that details, but if assuming it was a two-parent family, it is a two-parent family. The woman, the role of a woman is to take care of the kids. And in some in some families, it's taken to the extreme where the man is completely hands-off. And if you think about things like if you have a a newborn and you don't even sleep, I started realizing that what they call mom brain is just months or even years of lack of sleep and it does affect. It's not like if you become a mom and your brain just whatever. No, it's because you were not you haven't been sleeping enough for months, sometimes even years. And that's that's a problem. But the thing is that when you complain about it, people are gonna tell you women have been having children since the beginning of time and they've made a work. What are you talking about? But if you think about, at least for me, looking back, you know, at yes, women have been having babies, but people used to live in communities where they still had their mothers, their grandmothers, their sisters. Somehow, you know, they're taking care of. Like when when I remember when uh my mom had my younger ones, my grandmom will come. Her mom died a long time ago, and my dad's mom will come, and at night the baby slept with my grandmother because she wanted my mom to sleep. But I didn't have that. You know, my mom came to visit for a couple of months, but most of us in this generation don't have that luxury of having someone that will take the baby so that we can sleep. So you can imagine if you're healthy and you're well, your mental health is on point, it still affects you. Imagine if you're already on the brink of something and then you're now having to add on to that lack of sleep, stress, worry about the case, because they're trying to keep humans alive. And nobody taught you how to do that. So for me now, I'm looking at this and I'm thinking a couple of years ago, if I had seen the same news, I would have been like, oh my goodness, how could you ever do that? But I'm a mom now and I've gone through the pandemic and I've experienced other things. So right now I feel really sad for those children, but I feel even worse for the woman because I'm also thinking she may have been crying out for help for a long time, but back to what is the role of a woman, she may not have been taken seriously simply because you should be able to do this. And now here's the result.

SPEAKER_03 48:06

You guys battle that out. Let me see what you got. What you what you're thinking over there?

SPEAKER_01 48:10

This case has been hits it at several different places. As a mother myself, as a as a mental health provider, as someone who used to be a part of the psychiatric review board. Several pieces. So I I do agree with what Adese mentioned that it is very telling in a sense of a mother of three, it's time for her to go back to work. She works as a nurse, so that is a very demanding job. She's married. So all of the pieces fit in terms of it is very likely that her mental health was not in the best space, in addition to her suicide attempt. I'm a little confused as to how the media is spinning it in terms of, you know, maybe your husband did it, you know, you're just hearing all of these different things. And the reality of it is this is a common thing, like this not uncommon. The question comes into why is this case creating such a buzz? Right? Why is it so hard for them to come to a conclusion about how to sentence her? Right. And I asked that question because I think there's other individuals similar to what Adese said who who experienced this and do not have the same access to resources. So they didn't have a babysitter, they had to go back to work immediately. Um, they didn't have the same ability to, you know, get sleep or all the things. It doesn't make an excuse. This is a this is a real situation in terms of how someone can get that mentally, you know, impaired to make a decision as drastic as that. And I say that because it reminds me of a case that we had in, it was in New York. This is a African-American mother, her name was Erin Murdy, and she drowned her three kids and she had mental health, but it didn't come to this magnitude, and she was tried as a criminal and was and went to prison, right? Same situation. Three children, you know, her family was was crying out for help, she wasn't having the same access to resources, she had to go back to work, all the things, right? So this is not new. But I think the reason why this particular case is creating such a buzz is because of what she represents. I don't think people think that someone from this class, this race can do such a thing without a real reason. And then you have all these people who are coming to her support, and I'm not saying we shouldn't, but I don't think we give enough attention to the realities of what mental health impairments look like for single mothers and they're or for mothers, period. Let me not just say single mothers, but when you think about even the category of single motherhood, you got individuals going back to work. They're engaging in self-destructive behaviors, but they're still functioning. They might be abusing their kids here and there, and DCF is involved and all of these things, and we don't understand their mental health. And they're dealing with maybe domestic situations in their partnership or a lack of support, whatever it is, and they're showing up every day. And so I don't think we really understand the magnitude of the situation, and we're we're honing in on this one situation, like this is not this is not new. But for some reason, we're protecting this individual as though it's foreign because of who she is. And I don't think that's fear at large. So I just put that out there.

SPEAKER_00 51:23

Josh, what are your thoughts? I've had this conversation with my wife. There was a another case, not like this exactly, but I told my wife, this former wrestler who I think may have suffered from CTE, but I who knows. His name was Chris Benoit, and he murdered his whole family. I told her there's not an assumption, a bunch of men that would get together to raise a million dollars for him. Now he ended up taking his life, but if he was alive, the way we administer the double standard is interesting, right? Thinking about a man that could do the same and a woman doing the same thing. And she goes, Well, you know, there's hormones, postpartum, this is a real thing. There's always an explanation. Not that there doesn't need to be an explanation, because this is where I'm going. But how we look at how we I think when men see it, it triggers the well, what about what I I want an explanation about our behavior too. Why can't we get an explanation? It's usually, I mean, even this, she's not capable of that on her own. This husband was clearly involved. But he's a Gemini, and Gemini's this a Virgo would never right. It becomes these really interesting ways to explain away our humanity, male or female, woman or man. She's evil, she's insane, she's a victim, she's a murderer. It's like pick one. And it's not always that clean. Matter of fact, it's never that clean. So what makes it difficult for me is that we'll we'll try to find the things that she did intentionally to paint a picture about who she is because I want her to fit neatly in the monster box. Because if she's in the monster box, that means well, I'm not a monster. I would never do anything like that. She needs to pay the price for it, he needs to pay the price for it. So we look for things that are polarized, and this is why social media and media in general has built a following around how polarizing we can take a very complicated truth that involves she might be a monster, but she and she also might be a victim. And the victim sometimes does very monstrous things. Welcome to why we find villains so fascinating, because they're layered and they often are a mirror back to us. But when you get to we have three children that are gone, and we have a woman that was so whatever, she almost tried, she tried to take her life. And whether she was intentional about sending the husband out to run an errand to a store that was a little further, so she might have had a little bit more time to carry this whole thing out, it's more complex than she's put in whatever bucket you want to grab. It is layered, and for whatever reason, and I'm sure there's a history to that, we are uncomfortable accepting the layers that make us human. Because I think it's a direct affront to our ability to make quick decisions around survival, right? If we start getting really murky about, well, maybe the kids, maybe it's not that big. I've seen some things where they say, pretend the kids aren't real, just pretend they're porcelain dolls, and then let's walk through her mental state. It's like, well, hold on. Like, don't lighten the load of what actually transpired because it makes it uncomfortable that she could still have been a victim and a murderer and insane and still execute her children, and we still need to sit with damn, how did we get here? She had all the resources because we'll do that, we'll put the resources on a pedestal. Well, they were able to afford this, we're afford that, and then somehow that makes them less human. We're trying to replicate and right now, we've tried to outsource everything that used to be within our community, and you didn't have to pay for it. But we got judgments around multi-generational living and having living support from our family. It's in our society, we've created a very hyper-individualistic, you guys got to figure it out, right? The two come together as one. Now, the one go figure it out against all odds. It's you against the world. It's it's everywhere. So then we want people to rely on help when they're judged for relying on help. Oh, you don't got it like that? And don't bring the man, and this really triggers me as a man because that's often what our existence is. And then the minute we do something, oh, see, you're just not good enough. You didn't have this, you didn't have the resources, you weren't disciplined enough with your money and finances. And I can only imagine the same type of armor that women are are meant to carry with everything that's layered with what it means to be a wife, a mom, a spouse, a partner, and you gotta do it alone. And if you can't do it alone, something is wrong with you. It's tough to get to a clean answer because the answer isn't clean. And if I accept that this isn't a clean way to see the world and it's not black and white and it's full of gray, there's something triggering about that to us because we wanna be, we want to distance ourselves as much as possible from things that make us uncomfortable. And this clearly has made a lot of people uncomfortable. Not to make excuses for her. I still believe in accountability and seeking help and doing all you can to embrace your community. And there's something to be said about how fragile our existence is as humans because we're told to do it all, hold it all, make it happen, and it leaves us in a very vulnerable position that we just can't openly admit because that's admitting weakness. And for whatever reason, weakness is very uncomfortable for us as a society to sit with. I know it's not the clean answer, but it's not supposed to be clean.

SPEAKER_03 57:06

It isn't an answer. And I hopefully the folks that are listening to us today kind of have something to think about. Because I was even thinking about this entire thing because I was trying to remove the blame, because I was like, I'm not in the blame business, that's not my job right now. But for me to see what's ahead of all of this, right? Because the reason why you don't want to go into the future is because what's ahead you don't want to be part of. Like, I don't want to be part of that thing. I don't see all my navigate that future that I'm looking at ahead of. And I don't want my kids to go into that future, so therefore I'm gonna take them out, right? So we as a society is like, are we creating a future that people don't want to be part of? And how do we solve that? What is it that we can do right now to solve the resentment of the future? Because this is just a resentment of the future that you don't want to be part of it, and you'd rather take it take yourself out of the game than being part of the game. So Alexa, I turn back to you. Um closing thoughts here on all of this as you wrap up here. What are your what are your thinking overall in all of this based on everybody's opinion so far?

SPEAKER_02 58:00

I think uh for me, everything kind of boils down to the fact that we don't want to take time to really focus on what's going on. Because if you think about the fact about the role of a woman, we just hang on to things that are there, even though the world is changing and evolving and all of that, but we don't want that. We want to hold on to the good old days. Who said they were good? Somebody read a script from I think it was the 1600, and it was like the kids of nowadays are so spoiled, they they're this, they're that, they don't even so the person who read it was, I guess, when this was formed, we said 80, 70, it was from so many years ago. So if there was there's no good old days, but we we'd shy away from facing reality, and that's why we're worried about the role, and that's why you know this case is a is a big deal. And what's paining me is that we're going to make all this noise, but we're not gonna solve the problem because Doc said this is not new, it happens all the time. People are crying for help, but we don't want to do that because then if we say we have to do that, then we have to face all the other things that we're doing that don't make sense, but we'd rather just you know isolate this, explain the way the way we want, so that it's just the one thing that we push it away, and what happens or what's happening keeps happening. Or when I talk about kids not being able to read again. I remember when Joshua said something about how we're always on our phone, I felt triggered, okay? I was like, why are you talking to me? Come on, okay? Because my kid, it's like I used to be I used to be able to like on Friday keep my phone. I don't pick up my phone until Monday. And you know, my husband used to hear that because he'll call me like 15 times because I I focus on the kids and I focus on the house. But now I blame me, you know, be you know, having my own business. I was like, that's not an excuse. But you know, we are all looking for distraction somehow because the world is a bit too much. But I think that what will help us collectively with everything we talked about today is just to be comfortable, you know. Joshua has a way to do that. You can just listen to music in the listening room, but to be comfortable with sitting with ourselves and asking even the simplest of questions because it will reveal a lot of things, and we don't just go about life on autopilot, assuming things and trying to patch things up and hoping that they'll work.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:21

What we're talking about overall is a lot of these, you know, polarizing news stories come out and they reveal, you know, very deeper truths in us that we're we don't spend enough time sitting with because they're too complex. So we want to rush to a judgment. We want to rush to make the world clean. And it's not. Right. And so we bring a lot of our pre-programmed thoughts that have not been challenged, that have been inherited because we trust the person or the family member or the entity that we inherited these thoughts from, and we adapt them without question. And we apply that same logic to what we read or what we don't read, what we scroll through, what we don't scroll through, what sits with us that makes us feel good. The quick, the quick judgment that we get to to make us feel better about this woman that clearly was looking for help and also needs to be held accountable on some level for the actions that we're taking, right? And so, anyway, my point in all this is that we need to make more space to sit with the complexity of our human condition than trying to rush to a judgment to make ourselves feel better or better than someone else. I think as we're moving through this world, we're constantly looking for things that soothe us, that help us cope. And they're not always in our best interest. It is also in the pain that will push us through um some of these really fixed perspectives that don't do us any good.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:46

And Dr. Ranisha, two minutes. What are your what do you wrap-up thoughts here?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:50

Great session today. I I agree. I think we live in America, the big melting pot space, right? And unfortunately, our legal systems and and and education systems and systems at large don't know how to accommodate the the differences amongst people. And those differences include, you know, the perplexities of the hierarchy and who's more favored and who's right and who's wrong, and who's who makes the final say, right? In this melting pot of a space. And I think as we continue to evolve, the human side of us starts to recognize, oh, but we're all really exactly the same, right? Our our legal system don't respect that. But at the bottom line of it, we all are capable of exact acting the exact same way, having the exact same thoughts and feelings. But unfortunately, the systems that were created were created with very biased perceptions of who is more elite and who is better than whom. And I think the more that we involve the next generation, especially because they are mixing and mingling regardless of difference, because that's normal to them, the systems are not gonna be able to accommodate. Right. We're not living in a world where, you know, certain spaces where it's like that's the majority. Unfortunately, that's changing every day here. Um, and I think we're gonna have more challenges when it comes to who's defining how we live our everyday life, how we define relationships, how we know engage, what what's important, what's intimacy, all of the things are gonna be and need to be redefined because of the world that we're we're living in. So that's my two cents.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:28

That was like three cents. That was like three cents because it was yeah, yeah. She got a little extra on here.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:33

She got a little extra. Well, I appreciate all you coming here and sharing your thoughts. We continue this progress of having conversation about things that we find valuable and and uh useful. And as Doc was wrapping up about defining things, I thought about who's who's greater than the man, who's greater than the woman, who's greater than the king, right? Who's greater than the king? The kingmaker. Who's greater than the man? The man maker. Who's greater than the woman? The woman maker. So we're always thinking about what is the greater thing we we need to tap into, and the thing that is you're consuming is what's making you. So if you if you want to know who's greater than you, is who's making you. And that means if it's certain kind of emotions that you you fall trapped to that's making you, that emotion is greater than you. So for this lady that had this issue, certain things that was making her, it was greater than her, and she couldn't couldn't live with it, couldn't withstand it, couldn't carry it. So you gotta start looking at what's making you. And it doesn't have to be a God thing. I'm talking about the thing that you're consuming. That's making you. So who's the kingmaker? If I'm a king, who's greater than me? The person that made me. The king maker. So you gotta go look into that and figure out who's running your life and what's running your life. That's my wrap of thought. And guys, it's good to chat with you. We hope to do this a lot more often. Matter of fact, we will. Any any as any any closing thoughts? You got we got about one second, one second each, one second each. Anybody else in the last word before we wrap?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:00

Closing thoughts. We want to hear your thoughts. You know, just let us know what you got out of this session, really. Because a lot, most of the things we talked about today, we could we could easily have talked about them for the entire time. They just I I think they're just deeper than what we could give them in this short time that we have. So we really want to know um your thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:21

Yeah, I want to argue more. So get it. This was this was cool, but I think you know, we can get to it too. I wanna I want to disagree with Dr. Nickel sometimes. Yeah, we was cute with it. We was cute with this.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:34

Yeah, this this was this this was uh this was first primer, and uh, yeah, and you know, you know, it's interesting. Josh mentioned that because my brain is my brain loves to debate, and I was like, man, I I love to have people that challenge my thinking. Like, I might agree with how you feel, but most likely I don't I'm I disagree with all you think. So then we can go back and forth about that, right? So at least the agreement on the feeling pieces there if you can feel good about yourself. But I know most of the time I won't agree with what you think because I think differently. I know we all feel the same way sometimes, so but we all think the way sometimes. So, anyway, let us know your thoughts and what you want to chat about, and we see you guys on the next around the table conversation with the members of Millions uh committee here. With that, make it an utterly, utterly fantastic day.