SPEAKER_04 0:00

I am um five subway sandwiches tall. You can be grieving and find a sliver of humor.

SPEAKER_07 0:08

We think our lives look like that rock, ordinary, but how we were made is the interesting part.

SPEAKER_04 0:14

He says, Mo Krem. And I said, excuse me? Then I'm teaching them how to breathe through their cloaka, which is a multi-purpose hole in a turtle's butt.

SPEAKER_07 0:25

And I start recognizing these patterns and different things, like seeing things that people might not notice.

SPEAKER_04 0:30

I type in her name and I'm like, come on, please tell me if I find her, she is fat and ugly and broke. Like, please, God. People are either an example or a warning.

SPEAKER_07 0:43

How do you pick up on these things when you see them? Being a humorist means taking risks. Being a humorist who walks on stage as someone else is a risk few speakers will take. Wear a credential that isn't yours, and you get caught. Jenny Lachlin wears one on purpose, and the audience thanks her for it. She has been introduced as an animal breathing expert, a representative from the Chancellor's office, the new hire a team was waiting to meet. The audience leans in, take notes, nod along. Then the twist lands, and a serious meeting turns into one people talk about on the way home. Her official title is The Undercover Speaker, a corporate comedian from Arizona who plays the expert long enough to earn your attention, then spend it helping people stop taking life so seriously and stop beating themselves up. It started with a problem networking event full of 30-second commercials. People forgot each other's before the coffee got cold, so Jenny experimented and she found the line she has built a career on. People don't remember information, they remember what surprises them. She graduated high school with one award, Best Laugh. She taught PE, where the kids kept asking if she was a student. She has won the Toastmaster humor speech contest twice. She'll tell you humor is a learned skill, and she learned it next to her father, Hall of Fame speaker Joe Weldon. Today, she brings that skill to Signa Arizona State University and the Master Fire Department. Welcome to the Lock Into the Memories Millions Podcast. Utterly, utterly fantastic day. Yeah. Every memory got a meaning. Every meaning got a mystery. Memoirs to millions. Welcome. We're here today because we get to have a conversation around humor. And our guest today is somebody that I think is a very funny person. We're going to discover how she used humor in conversation, in speeches, and just a regular life. And I'm going to I want to open with this concept of a rock. So you say pick up a rock, a plain gray stone, the kind you stepped over on a walk. Now find out how it was made, the heat, the pressure, and the years it took. The rock stays plain, the process doesn't. Our stories work the same way. We think our lives look like that rock, ordinary, but how we were made is the interesting part. We turn that process into a story somebody feels, somebody can feel is a skill set, the syntax, the diction, and the right words in the right order, so it lands deep or lands funny. Today we we get to run an experiment with someone I have been learning from and who you are going to learn from over the next few minutes in this conversation. And she's also a mentor along with her dad in my life. Jen, welcome.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Thank you, Asher, and welcome to your listener here.

SPEAKER_07 3:57

Yes. I was listening to a podcast this morning, and um his name is John Hobryant. But he said this combination of words that I want to open with, and I like the way he puts it because I think he's gonna tie into exactly how you kind of put things out of people. But it says, talk without being offensive and listen without being defensive, and always leave your adversaries with their dignity, because if you don't, they will spend their whole life making your life miserable. So when you think about humor and how you use it in different things in life, when you hear those words, what comes to mind for you?

SPEAKER_04 4:30

Well, I first originally thought of you know, know your audience. And I think this this is a common question, right? As you're listening, you might be thinking, Yeah, I've tried humor, and then people get all upset, right? They get offended. Or how do you even do it so that you know people don't feel attacked? And so I guess the the suggestion I have and always have recommended is, you know, if you make fun of yourself, in fact, before this recording, I'm sure you're probably wondering, like, is she always that splotchy? I don't know what's going on with the lighting and everything. I was like, looks like I've got Rosacea. And we were kind of making fun of, and Asher said, Well, you know, we're just gonna maybe it's your shirt. And I said, Maybe, maybe we should just encourage you to listen to the audio. So hopefully you're keep listening to the audio. But but that's really the first step is in being funny or having more humor in your life, is can you laugh at yourself? And it's not always easy, right? And so if you can laugh at yourself and the things that you can't change in your life, I am short, which I you know is great doing virtual. You can never tell how short people are. Asher's always so good looking in his hat and everything, he looks so cool. Uh, watch Asher, are you like five foot two in real life? No, no. Are you? Are you Asher?

SPEAKER_07 5:57

I'm five nine.

SPEAKER_04 5:59

Yeah, yeah. I am uh five subway sandwiches tall, if you can figure that out. And and so being short is something I don't like, you know? I mean it's like I never have, and nothing I can do about it. And yet, so if and a lot of people tease me about it, right? Because I mean it's it's so obvious. And and I've learned to kind of right laugh at it and make fun of it. And I when I make fun of my own height, I've never had anyone come up to me and say, you know, you know, I was really offended when you when you mentioned that you're short, you know, that really hurt my feelings. So you know, so so that's one little suggestion is you know, self-deprecating humor, as we know, is always safe. So I'll I'll stop there and see what do you what do you think about that?

SPEAKER_07 6:53

No, that that that is um I remember when I was growing up too, we all got different things about us that people make fun of us, especially when we were young. And um, I remember when I was in, I think it was like fourth, fifth grade. I was short at the time as well, too. I think I probably was one of the few shortest in my class, if I'm thinking about it, as far as the male, the male, the guys. Um, it was a group of us that was kind of around the same height too. We used to make fun of each other. But people used to make fun of my nose. I remember this. Because there was, you know, this is say my I think I got like a I got a big nose or whatever. I used to make fun of it. But after a while, I got insensitive to it, so therefore I no longer feel offended about it. And because of that, I think it changed how I look at other things in my life that people make fun of. So I think, but but I think, but as far as the humor piece, I'm curious about like what do you get out of the humor? Like, what do you personally get from it while you do it?

SPEAKER_04 7:44

What do I get from it when when I can create humor for other people? Is that is that what you mean?

SPEAKER_07 7:50

Just just just being funny yourself. Like, yeah, what do you get from it?

SPEAKER_04 7:53

What do you Yeah, like what what are the benefits? Okay, well, that's a great question because a lot of people think that when you know, when you're with your friends and or family and you you have that you we've all had that time where you laugh so hard, right? Where you're just like it, it's almost like you're you're crying because you're laughing so hard. And how often have you when if you can think of a time when when you've ever done that? And then after you like can get yourself together, oftentimes people go, Oh my gosh, I needed that laugh, right? Or oh my gosh, that was the best. And people don't realize that even if you don't do those really amazing belly laugh to the point where you're crying, just more just like giggle, ha ha, laugh. There are so many benefits. There's so many benefits to laughter. And I'll rattle off some of them for you in case you don't know, but laughter strengthens your immune system. Laughter is a natural antidepressant, laughter helps you sleep better, laughter keeps you looking and feeling young. And so there's a lot of benefits there, and it's also one of the greatest, cheapest, it's completely free, right, tool for resilience, for stress. And I think a lot of times people think, you know, I'm I don't have anything to laugh about. I'm going through such a difficult time right now. And one of the things I like to teach people is you can be going through a very difficult time and find laughter. You know, you can be grieving and find a sliver of humor. Two things can be true at the same time. And sometimes just knowing that kind of gives us because we sometimes would feel bad. Like if you've ever been at a funeral or celebration of life, right? And something happens and you start laughing, and then you're like, oh my gosh, I feel like a terrible person, and I'm laughing. But really, it's so healthy. It's so good for us. And also when you're with somebody, you know, your friend or your family, and you something makes you laugh, and you're laughing together, that is such a strong form of connection. I think there's a quote somewhere that says, Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. So especially in this world we're in right now with so much AI and people are like craving human, real experiences. And it's, I think it's going to become even more. Have you ever been to a comedy club?

SPEAKER_07 10:28

I have. I have.

SPEAKER_04 10:29

Okay. So as you're listening, if you've ever been to a comedy club, the cool thing is you go in, everyone is a stranger, pretty much. You know, no one, everyone goes in maybe with their date or a friend. They know them, but that's about it. And everyone kind of goes in strangers. And then if the comic is good, which they usually are, you know, comedian is good, and they create this connection and all this laughter and all this positive energy. It's so weird. It's like you get up after the show as to leave and you feel almost like one, and yet these are all strangers, you know.

SPEAKER_07 11:05

I don't remember this quote exactly, but it says something like uh like humans are the only one that that enjoy laughter because we are the only one that needs it as far as a human species. So the animal doesn't need the humor to laughter, but we are the one that need it because we are the one that suffers so much. I would think.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

Um that's true. Yeah, you don't see dogs laughing, do you? It would be so cute if they did, though. Wouldn't that be adorable?

SPEAKER_07 11:33

Yeah, you know, so some something I enjoyed because I you had shared these slides before. I I use them in Toastmaster, was the one with the bunch of like you the layout, the different different different like the monkeys and the dogs and the cats and all these other different things that you you had shared it in uh in the in the coaching group. So I I tried it in Toastmaster, but I always always wonder how do you how do you pick up on these things when you see them? Because sometimes I just notice them, but I don't notice them until somebody point them out like you do. So you pick those up.

SPEAKER_04 12:00

Yeah, you know, that's a great question. And I that's another common question I get. I get, well, where do you find humor? Like, how do you even notice this stuff? I I don't like where do you find it? And and the easiest way to explain it is, you know, when if you bought a car, a new car in the last six to 12 months, okay? And which have you, Asher? Have you bought a new car in the last six to 12 months? No, okay. Well, let's just say, let's just pretend, right? You you if you're listening right now and you get a new car, let's just say it's a red Honda Civic, okay? I'm and you know this, we've all experienced this before you bought that red Honda Civic, uh, maybe two years before that, you weren't really noticing a lot of red Honda Civics. And all of a sudden you buy a red red Honda Civic, and what what happens? You're like, oh my gosh, there's so many. I can't believe everyone has a red Honda Civic. Like, you know, you just start to notice them. Now, did everybody go out and buy a new red Honda Civic? No, it's because it's important to you, it's on your mind. You're thinking about it. So now you're noticing it. If you're listening and you are and you've ever had a baby, the moment you become pregnant, all of a sudden, I remember this. It's like, oh my gosh, everyone's pregnant. She's pregnant, they're it's like it's like a pregnancy boom. No, it's really not a pregnancy boom. It's because you're pregnant, so now you're noticing because it's important to you. And the same thing is true with humor, you know, if you look for things that annoy you, like if you're married, I'm married, or if you're in a relationship, you know, the sound of chewing, that's annoying. And I will find it every single night, right? So if you look for things that annoy you in a relationship, right, you will you will find it. If if you look for things that stress you out, you know, you're driving and you're super stressed at the all the other cars, you're gonna keep noticing they're driving bad and they're driving bad. You'll find it. And the same thing with humor. If you say to your brain, like, literally, I wanna, I'm looking for things that just make me smile. You know, start with smile first, maybe not laugh, but just things that make me smile. And your brain will start seeing more of it. It's amazing. You'll start picking up just in your everyday life.

SPEAKER_07 14:24

Yeah, my follow-up with that. So, so when when did you first notice you were seeing something other people would miss when it comes to the humor itself? Like what what what age were you? When did that start it for you?

SPEAKER_04 14:34

You know, my parents had a really good sense of humor. We used to watch Saturday Live when we when I was little, which is kind of weird. I mean, I don't know that's like the most appropriate show when you're four years old, but so we we always had a they had a good sense of humor. And I think I just kind of uh appreciated and noticed it then. And oftentimes if you're listening and you're like you weren't a good student, this might be true to you. I was not a good student, and so if you were not a good student, you might remember, you know, kind of being a class clown or something like that. And that's kind of where your focus and energy went. And that's kind of how I was. I was, I wish I could say I was a great student. You know, great students are really focused on the learning, but if you if you were more of a going to the principal's office and stuff like that, maybe, maybe that's kind of you were already noticing those things even back then.

SPEAKER_07 15:32

Okay. And I don't consider myself funny, even though I try to be as much as I can. It's something like I have to deliberately trying to make a joke or trying to be funny, but it seems like it's just natural for you. And I'm curious if it was natural when you was younger, or you just come from the pressure of your surrounding.

SPEAKER_04 15:49

Okay, so I'm gonna disagree with you because I know you, I mean, we've known each other for a few years now. And you know, we go on these calls together, and as you're listening, Asher is you are always making jokes and adding laughter and humor, and and also you have a great laugh. You have a really good sense of humor. And I think that uh you're not giving yourself enough credit because you you're an easy, I think you're an easy laugh. Like you're just an easy laugh. And and people that are easily entertained and find things funny, and you got this great smile, you are a lot more than you think that you're giving yourself credit. And I think, you know, there's a lot of people that don't laugh, you know, they they literally don't find humor in anything. And that's like kind of sad. I mean, that's really sad. So I get the first step is if you're look it as you're listening, if you think, yeah, I'd like to be funnier or I'd like to laugh more, the assignment would just be just look for, you know, go on, you can go on YouTube, and there's a channel called Dry Bar. It's like complete clean comedy. You know, stop watching comedians and like find who you like. Just find a few different ones. Read books that are written by comedians that are funny. Kevin Hart has a really great book. It's older, but it's so funny. And, you know, just kind of like get more exposure to it. And then your brain starts seeing it, appreciating it more. And you can tell stories to add humor. You could do self-deprecating and just kind of try it out more like when you're at the grocery store, you're getting your hair cut, or you're at the gym, or you're just talking to a friend. Try your humor out on those people and just kind of like, you know, practice and and see how it goes. But you never, one little tip. People will always say, Oh my gosh, I gotta tell you this really funny story. And I don't think you should ever say that because even if it is funny, right now you're like giving them that heads up ahead of time. So just say, Oh, I gotta tell you that what happened to me at the grocery store. Yeah. Well, and if they don't laugh, they they're not like, Well, you told me that was gonna be funny, that wasn't really very funny.

SPEAKER_07 18:16

This episode is sponsored by Live Chinamas the Marketplace, the home for hard those who own their stories and their business, your book, your merch, your audience. One storefront, you keep 80%, you own your customer list, you build a relationship, real relationship with the readers. If that sounds like the way you want to run your business, visit lifechainwisdom.com. So I I want some tips. I want some more tips, and I noticed when you put your presentation, get or your speeches, like I listened to a couple of them on uh on um on the on the platform, and I'm like, how did Jen figure that out? Like, how do you come up with that idea? For example, when you were talking to, I forget what the group of lady you were talking to about, the F-A-R-T or some other stuff he was putting in your presentation. And I was like, how how do you thought about those kind of things? To make it kind of like funny to the audience, because it's it's still relevant, but but it was funny, I would present it to the audience.

SPEAKER_04 19:14

Yeah. Well, so I've been doing this for quite some time. So the the first tip would be you have to give yourself some compassion and give yourself some grace. Because when you first start to use humor, if you're doing it in speaking or on podcasts or just talking one-on-one to people, you know, you're gonna stumble and fumble through it. It's it's like anything else. It's like reading, it's like writing. Using humor is a learned skill. All those amazing comedians, it's like hours and hours and years of doing the same jokes and they just keep refining it and practicing and getting feedback. It takes time. So, one first step is give yourself some compassion, give yourself some grace. It's not gonna go great right away. And second is, you know, to know your audience. So, for that particular one, when Asher was talking about the FR F-A-R-T, I was speaking pretending I was from a fictitious organization. And the name of the organization that I was representing was Foundation for Analytics Research and Trends. So it sounds pretty believable. But then the like the last slide after I kind of did my talk said Foundation Analytics Research and Trends, but then it had like the acronym and it was F-A-R-T, right? So, so I had asked the group, you know, what I really got to know the group, and then I came up with um, if you come up with fictitious stuff, then you're not really making fun of really anyone because it's doesn't even exist, right? Because I was actually gonna start with using a real organization that they that that particular audience is involved in. And then I thought, you know, that's probably not a good idea because then they're going to not want to laugh because they might feel like, oh, now we're laughing at our sponsor or whatever organization that we're actually connected to. So when you make something up, no one can really get upset, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 21:30

I play this, I play this thing called a maxim game on the podcast where I would read a couple of lines and then I would want to hear what story pops in your head, either humorous or not. So I have a couple of them prepared and I would like to get your thoughts on them when you hear them.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 21:45

Okay. See if you like the game. Okay, so the first one is says, Chase to laugh and the lesson tags along on the inversion of that. Some of the best findings show up in the experiment you run. For fun. Anything pops in here when you hear those words?

SPEAKER_04 22:03

So I spoke to a group on virtuals right after COVID. And this particular group was kind of what we would call a woo-woo group, right? They were like this a little bit more on the spiritual side, and they did also a lot of coaching. Great group, but they were not your typical corporate America team. Anyways, when I got hired to speak to this group, they originally said, Could you come on the call and add some humor? We got a lot of heavy, very emotional, just really heavy, heavy thinking and processing. And we need to kind of add a little levity to the call. So again, it was virtual. And so I got to know the group, did a little homework, and I came up with something that now I have been using for years after that. It was an experiment. And I now use that in other virtual team building corporate company calls. And it is such a hit. And what actually happened with that call is I told them, why don't you introduce me and say, you know, you all have been working so hard and you're probably feeling a little stressed, right? A little tired. You might need to feel like you need some energizing moments. So we actually have a world-renowned breathing expert. And she's coming on the call. Her name is Dr. Lisa Brouwer. She's, I mean, amazing. And I had all this fake BS credentials, right? And so they thought I was going to teach them some pretty amazing breath work, which they already were into. But this was a little bit more cutting edge, I called it, and not so mainstream. And so I taught them these animal breathing exercises, which of course were not even real. And it was like, what's a fierce animal? And they were all chiming in on the chat box. Oh, a bear, a lion, a shark. And I said, That's right, shark. So we're going to do your fierce breathing. And how you do this is you get your you get your shark fin up nice and high. Okay. And we're going to, and we're going to feel that in our gills. And as I backed up, you can see me expanding my gills. Well, they're kind of like looking, but they're doing it because I told the CEO, right? So that I literally have like 28 people, and they all have their elbow up, their shark fin up high. Then they did free breathing, and free breathing is like free willy. You know, if you've ever seen the movie Free Willy, it's a way. So we're going to do our blowhole breathing. And you do like an A-O-K with your hand, and we're going to and I'm teaching, they're doing it. They're all unmute. I want to unmute, unmute. I want to hear your your power the power coming out of your blowhole. And they're all doing it. I mean, you would not believe that people believe this. I was like, I cannot believe they're believing this. Then I'm teaching them how to breathe through their cloaca, which is a multi-purpose hole in a turtle's butt, and they're doing it, right? It was so fun and funny for just that group, and I would never do it again. Like you mentioned with the question, I thought it was just an experiment. And I thought, I wonder if I could do that with any other group. And sure enough, you wouldn't believe how many people fall for that. Yes. And then I reveal the truth at the end, right? And they're all like, oh my gosh. And I record it, and then I send the recording to them, and they all just are like laughing, like, I can't believe you got us to do that. And it's it's really fun. It's playful. The team then bonds, they're laughing, they're being silly, and the CEO or the leader doesn't have to be a clown. I I'm the clown on the call, and and it's harmless. It's just like good old-fashioned fun.

SPEAKER_07 26:04

I could feel my my neck starter. Like as I'm laughing, I could feel you can you laugh at you like your next start getting tired. It's like, oh my god. But I I could only imagine being it, being on the call and just listening and watching it, like, what do you is? Where is this going? What were you taking us?

SPEAKER_04 26:22

Yeah, and I've actually I'll never forget when I was talking about do you feel that? You know, and I kind of point to my ribs. Do you feel that in your gills opening up? And and people are like, Yes, I do. And I'm like, oh my God. And then I had a guy that said, wait, I thought the gills are more like right here. I was like, oh my god. I don't ever need nothing.

SPEAKER_07 26:52

No, I'm sure, I'm sure they went home and talk about that.

SPEAKER_04 26:56

Yeah, yeah, they did, right? And that's and and that's always the goal is, you know, like, I mean, most people, they're not having that much fun at work. You know, most bosses are like, we don't have time for fun. We we have to work. And yet, there are some companies, the really good organizations that know, hey, if I can get my employees and my team to have fun, even just for like 20 minutes, they're gonna be a lot more productive, they're gonna be a lot happier, uh, they're gonna be a lot, and they're gonna go home and they're gonna tell their their, they're gonna tell their friends, they're gonna tell their family. So there's there's a lot of benefit there.

SPEAKER_07 27:38

Is there any particular group of or group or organization that you find your science and art works best on? Or is anybody who would specialize like I would love to serve those kind of companies anymore?

SPEAKER_04 27:49

You know, I find that it's more of an instead of a niche market, I find that it's a niche problem.

SPEAKER_05 27:57

Niche.

SPEAKER_04 27:59

Yeah, it's like organ, like let's say they're having a conference, an annual conference or a meeting, and they have all these important technical speakers that are really sharing some very important information, but it can be dry, right? Maybe it's an accounting or CPA or fiduciary, you know, all kinds of there's dental and dental association conferences, and they have to have a certain amount of dentists present on, you know, different dental work and the business of dentistry. And, you know, it's very important and it's very helpful, but it it can be dry. And after a couple of days of that, it's like people are tired and they need some energy, and it's a great way to engage. So I do like to focus on, you know, if it if they're like, oh, we have all this fun planned, we're we're doing this fun thing and this fun thing, they probably don't need me, but most people aren't doing that. They're like, oh, fun. Oh, well, we let our people go out like for happy hour after the meeting. I'm like, that's not during the meeting, you need it during the meeting, you know.

SPEAKER_07 29:10

So so I would say, so you pretty much focus on boring conferences.

SPEAKER_04 29:13

Yeah, I like boring conferences boring conferences for it, you know, they just beat it up.

SPEAKER_07 29:27

If you're enjoying this podcast right now, I've launched a platform, memoirsuminions.com, where I help authors, former authors, or people that want to be authors, write their book, publish their book, format their book, edit their book. It's a whole one-stop shop for your book journey. So go there to memosemin.com and check it out and see you on the inside. So here's another one. It says, uh people believe a good story faster than a good fact. On in version of that, so put the facts inside the story and let it ride, let it ride in. What story pops in here when you hear that?

SPEAKER_04 30:02

Hmm. So I think my dad says, I'm probably gonna screw this up, but I think he says a quicker is worth a thousand stories, and a story is worth 10,000 pictures. Yeah, something like that, right? And let me think about this with facts. Well, I'm not so sure about facts. I don't usually use a lot. Well, I guess I do use statistics. I use fake BS statistics when I'm doing like an opening of my talk. I like to do a lot of fake BS statistics that sound believable at the beginning. But I mean, a story, it will win every single time. Let me share this one. I'm sure you've, as you're listening, you've probably been to the hospital or you've taken a loved one to the hospital, and you know that it's probably the worst place to be, right? It's not a cool place to hang out. And my dad, who Asher knows very well, 84-year-old, super healthy, as you know, Asher, so vibrant, full of life, working full time. About a year ago, he wakes up in the middle of the night, 2 a.m., his ankle is like on fire, just like no explanation, right? Just all of a sudden. And by the next morning, 7 a.m., the ankle is all swollen and super painful. So I take him to the hospital. And he was there, and there were all these different doctors working the case to solve this mystery leg pain that he had. And the first doctor that came in said, you know, okay, we've done all these tests, we've run all these scans, and based on that, he has sprained his ankle. And I was like, How do you sprain your ankle in the middle of the night? And why would you want all this pain? Okay. Then we had a second doctor on the case, and he walks in and he says, based on the scans and all the tests that we've run, this is a blood clot. This is extremely, extremely serious. It's very um, in fact, we're so concerned that if they're the pain and swelling gets any more, there is talk about amputating the leg. And I was like, Amputating the leg? Then there was a third doctor. Meanwhile, just so you know, he was in a very respectable hospital. This was not like some off the side of a highway hospital, right? And the third doctor walks in and he says, based on the scans and all the tests and the results, we don't really know what it is, but we've got we've got surgery scheduled tomorrow. We're gonna open up the leg and we're gonna dig around and see what we find. And you know, so you're gonna sedate an 84-year-old to dig around and see what you find. So, as you can imagine, as you probably would be feeling, this is now day six. He's been in the hospital like six days, and we are exhausted, we're frustrated, we're terrified, we're so worried. And all of a sudden, I walk into his hospital room and I see there's a fourth doctor. And the fourth doctor, I see him kind of putting on what looks to be like ointment on my dad's ankle. And I said, just so frustrated, I said, Listen, what do you think is the solution to this mystery leg pain? And he pauses and he looks at me and he says, Mo creme. And I said, Excuse me, and he said, Mo creme. Now he had an accent, okay, and what he was saying was more cream. Okay, and I go, more cream, like lotion, and he goes, Yeah. What you just did and I look over at my dad. Now, you know when you're in a like a you're in church or you were in school when you were little, or maybe you're at a funeral and it is like not appropriate at all to laugh. But because it's not appropriate and you're not really allowed to laugh, you can't stop laughing and you laugh even harder. Well, that's what happened. My dad and I look at each other because we literally went from amputating the leg to now we just need a little moprim. And so we are laughing so hard, right? Just like in tears. Now, in that moment, nothing had changed. Like the leg was still painful, it was still swollen. But I am telling you what, you can call me a liar, but I am telling you that by the next morning, the pain and the swelling had completely dissipated. We checked him out of the hospital the next morning because he was totally fine and they had no other, you know, solution. And it was at that moment when we realized sometimes all you need is just a little mo prem. Right. And that laughter might be truly the best medicine because there was no other explanation. And so I tell you that story because I could sit here and I could tell you, you know, statistics show that, you know, 73% of people who laugh more live longer, and you know, 39% of people who experience belly laugh are happier, blah, blah, blah. You know, but I hopefully you'll remember that story and you'll you'll remember it in a time where it was a painful time for our family. We were worried, but two things can be true at the same time. You can be going through a difficult time, and you can find some humor, and it can be sometimes the what gets you through it.

SPEAKER_07 35:58

That was an interesting story, and I it could be scary, but I could see how that showed up at the end where somebody's like, wait a minute, all of this, and it was that simple. The man wasn't lotioning himself, right?

SPEAKER_04 36:11

I got my sister a t-shirt. I had a, you know, went on Etsy and had a custom-made t-shirt that says mo creme. So now we're always, you know, we're still lack about that. Oh, you just need a little mo creme. It's fine.

SPEAKER_07 36:27

I have this other one, it might line up with what you just said or something, but it says truth said badly lands flat on the inversion of that. When the truth falls flat, the container failed, not the truth.

SPEAKER_04 36:38

I guess when I hear truth, I just think, you know, some people say, Oh, behind every joke is truth. And I guess there is truth to that, right? That sometimes, like sometimes people will be sarcastic with each other. They'll they'll make fun of someone, and then they'll go, no, no, no, I'm just joking. I'm I it wasn't a joke. I didn't really mean it. And and sometimes that can be hurtful because it doesn't always feel like it was a joke, right? If we've if you've ever been on the receiving end of that, you sometimes feel like, well, I don't really think that they were thinking that was a joke. I think that they really mean that. And now they're just saying, oh, I'm just joking. And and so I guess that goes back to when it comes to humor, just be kind of careful with because people are so easily offended nowadays, right? That to stick to, well, first of all, you can always make fun of like dogs and you know, babies and things like that that we're not making fun of men, women, racial, religion, like politics. I never, ever, ever, ever touch any of that. I just don't because it's like, you know what? I don't even say a political person's name in my talk because I just don't want anyone being triggered and then distracted and thinking of that. So I know a lot of people do and they like that, and they have audience that specifically tune in to them for that, but I just always feel like if you're gonna make fun of men, right, then you should make fun of women too. Or if you're if you're gonna make fun of old people, then you should probably make fun of young people too. I don't know if that helps with the truth, but I'm glad you're enjoying the podcast.

SPEAKER_07 38:26

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SPEAKER_00 39:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 39:17

Here goes another one. It says, um, the disguise of what lets people put the mask down on inversion, she put on a costume and the people watch watching took theirs off. What comes to mind when you hear that?

SPEAKER_04 39:31

Well, when I hear that last part, she put on a costume and the other people let theirs down. It does remind me of what I have noticed when, because I'm known as the undercover speaker, which means I come out as these pretend people at the very beginning. The MC or host introduces me as someone that I'm not. And so I'm kind of in not necessarily a mask or costume, but I'm somebody that I am not. And the reason I do that is because I am trying to get them to let their guard down. In fact, most times at the end of my talk, when people say, Oh my gosh, you know, we needed that laughter. Oh my gosh, that was so fun. And I say, What did you like best? And they said, you know, we're so we take our job so seriously, we take ourselves so seriously. And this allowed us to kind of like let that guard down and just have some fun. And so I think that when you can do that, and I, you know, you probably heard like listen to a podcast or read a book when somebody's really vulnerable and they share something about themselves that might be difficult, and what that does to the listener, right? They then trust them, they feel connected, then they're much more willing to, oh, well, maybe I'll share this about me because you just went first. And so I think that whether you're talking about a guard, a costume, a mask, you know, I guess anytime you can be more real with people, that will help invite them to do the same.

SPEAKER_07 41:15

I like that actually. I think it's interesting when you you're around people and you can pretend a certain person or a certain thing, and it allows them to stop judging themselves but start seeing what you try to message each other. Because I'm thinking it's like a messaging thing, like a it's like a medium, right? How do you put on these costumes and pretend to be this person so you can have other people share what they really want to share, what say what they really want to say. I can feel that a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 41:42

I created something called you can do this, as you're listening. You can do this with your team, you can do this with your family, your friends. I really recommend you do it on Zoom and not in person. And here's why. I call it the mistake break. A mistake break, and I usually do it for exactly 37 minutes. It's just totally weird, right? I say, you're gonna come to the call, we're gonna do a 37-minute mistake break. And they go, Well, what's a mistake break? And I say, you have three options. You're gonna come to the call and you can share a personal or professional mistake that you have made that you think somebody on that call could benefit from hearing. You know, you'll save them some kind of time, stress, embarrassment, shame, guilt. If you don't want to share a mistake, that's fine. You have another option. Option two is you come to the mistake break and you just sit back and you listen to everyone else share their mistake. Because that's how you can learn, right? We know that a smart person learns from their mistakes, a wise person learns from other people's mistakes. Or there is a third option. If nobody wants to share a mistake, no problem. I have made enough mistakes in my own life to carry us through the 37 minutes. And what happens, you're, if you do this, you're gonna find this really interesting. You you get those ground rules, okay, and cameras have to be on, no black screens. That's not easy to share a mistake to someone who's not even on camera. And you say, okay, I'm gonna share a mistake. And and and you can share a sometimes. I share really silly, lighthearted mistakes. Sometimes I share some pretty big emotional mistakes. You get to choose. And usually at the beginning of the call, I go, is there anyone that has a mistake they want to share? Just go in the chat box and and say yes. And usually at the beginning, no one is saying yes. You know, everyone's really quiet. I say, okay, that's fine. If you if you change your mind, just go in the chat box and let us know. And I always have a host helping me. You know, Isabella's gonna keep an eye on the chat box to let us know who's gonna go next. And you know, everyone has about two minutes or less. We don't want it to go really long. And so I share a mistake and everyone's pretty quiet. And then I share another mistake, and then all of a sudden we start seeing the chat box. Oh, I just thought of something. Something. Oh, I I I have a mistake. I oh I got one. And it's like a domino effect. And not everyone shares, but a lot of people share. And it's because, I truly think it's because you go first. They feel like, oh, okay, you know, maybe I got this mistake that I'm kind of beaten myself up over. And now everyone's giving compassion and grace to you, and you seem like it's helping. Maybe, maybe I'll share my mistake. And people are like, oh my gosh, I've done that, or I could see myself doing that. Or they just start, you know, if you can laugh at your mistake, you can laugh at anything. That's one other way to kind of let that mask down and create some connection.

SPEAKER_07 44:46

But it isn't that what we all do when we sit down and have a conversation most days. It's sheer things that didn't go right, things that we made mistakes about. But it's uh it seems like it's difficult to do it in public. That's why I'd be like, I don't want to be the first one to go. But once everybody started normalizing it, I was like, okay, well, I can put mine out now. But I feel like that's what we do when we have conversation, anyways. Talk about the things that didn't went right.

SPEAKER_04 45:09

And and a lot of times people like leaders will say, Well, I don't think that's really appropriate. You know, I'm the boss, I don't really want to share my mistakes from when I was in marketing to my marketing director. Or and I'm like, No, that is actually you learn from it. And now you're they're gonna respect you, they're gonna trust you, you're building connection. You know, you obviously you want to be smart on your mistakes. You're not gonna get on there and talk about your marital mistakes. It's your right, and that's your problem. I guess you could, you know, I don't know, but there's a little discernment with what what things you're gonna share, but it's pretty fun, it's pretty cool. And so I I like that.

SPEAKER_07 45:54

I like that term, the mistake break. Take a break, share your mistake. I like that. Yeah, I'm gonna test that out. Okay, I don't know much about you, Jen. I think I do, but I don't I don't think I don't know much about you. So I'm gonna go back um between age 10 to 12, what was happening in your world, where were you, where were you in the world, what was happening for you, if you don't mind sharing that.

SPEAKER_04 46:13

So I grew up in Scocksdale, Arizona, and grew up in the 70s, 80s. And if you are listening and you grew up during that time, you probably remember that it the parenting was very different than it is now. Like you were just left to your own devices, right? You were just parents had no idea where you were, what you were doing. And compared to now, I'm a I'm a parent of a 22-year-old. But if you're a parent, you know it's so different now, right? We a lot of parents have their kids' location and we know what they're doing, and we're tracking them and text me when you get there, and text me who's there when you get there, and text me when you're coming home, and text me, you know, and you've probably seen these funny memes. There's some funny ones like that. Was back in the 70s and 80s, and nowadays it's just or excuse me, that's how life is now as a parent. And back in the 70s and 80s, you know, then there's the meme, and it just shows the little, it shows the mom just smoking a cigarette and she's like, bye, you know, if she didn't know where you were going. Uh, not that my mom smoked cigarettes, but pretty much, you know, my sister, I got an older sister, she's six years older, and we were just kind of roaming, doing our thing, you know, and mom and dad were busy working, and uh I had a great childhood. I'm very, I'm very grateful. I know, well, there's a lot of people that have had challenging childhoods. And I'm very grateful that I had really amazing parents. And so I guess sometimes when I sounds kind of weird, but if you've had a really great childhood, I don't know if you if you're listening and you in that boat, if you had a great childhood, sometimes you can feel almost guilty when you meet people, you meet so many people that really had a very challenging uh a lot of trauma, and you can almost feel guilty. And I kind of realized, you know, my job, I think, is if you've had a great childhood with great parents, it's it's it's your obligation to spread love and kindness to people because that's what I was very fortunate to have. And so that's all I can think of is, you know, when I kind of feel guilt is not the right word, but I guess that is kind of how I feel, you know, like, oh my gosh, it just feels so bad that this is not always the case. So my job is I think, okay, as an adult, can I be a little nicer to people and kind and and and appreciate that?

SPEAKER_07 49:00

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SPEAKER_04 49:26

Well, as you're listening, did you ever try at that age to fit in with the cool kids? I'm gonna guess that at some point in your life, you were trying to get in with some group of girls or guys that were cool, right? And I, when I was 10, I was trying desperately to get in with Alice and Grace. She was so cool, she was so pretty, she was friends with all the cool girls, and I was trying so hard to be like them and be in their group. And I'll never forget, I finally get invited to Alice and Grace's birthday party. And her birthday is, I still remember, July 2nd. And yes, that is actually her real name. And she invited me. I was so excited. And back then, a spree was a very popular clothing brand, if you were old enough to remember that. I got her this esprit matching shirt and shorts. I wrapped it in a gift box, in an actual box, wrapped the birthday present. And my sister was 16, so she was able to drive me. So she drives me. And keep in mind, there's no phones back then, no cell phones. So she drives me to Allison Grace's house. It was a pool party. So I've got my towel and my swimsuit and the gift, and I'm so happy I'm finally in with the cool girls. And I get to the house, I ring the doorbell, and her mom, Allison Grace's mom, is like pulling up in the driveway and she rolls the win, her car window down and she's like, What are you doing, honey? And I said, I'm here for the party. And she goes, she kind of laughs and she says, It was yesterday. And what? And she said, Yeah, it was yesterday. And at this point, my sister, who drove me, already drove off. So there I am standing there at the door with this present, wanting to just baw my eyes out. And I'm like, well, could I come inside and and call my sister? Because, you know, I got to get picked up again. So, and what happened was once my so my sister picks me up and I go home and I remember looking, because back then you didn't get a text invite, you didn't get an email invite, you got like an actual card invitation to a birthday party. And I remember looking at the invitation, birthday card invite, and it said July 2nd. So like I was on the right date, and I to this day, I really think she like wrong date. So I would like have this mortified, I mean, I don't know, right? And um, so this is this is really bad. I'm gonna tell you how what a terrible human being I am, but I never forgot that I tried so hard to be part of that group and I was heartbroken. Now, fast forward, like what was that, 10? So fast forward, I don't know, 35, 40 years later. And I could never find Allison Grace on social media. I kept looking her up, kept looking her up because I like, you know, if you've had that experience, if you had a childhood memory where someone you were trying to get into that group or someone was bullying you, you you never really forget that person, right? You never really forget that feeling. And so I found I am on this website that's like a deep dive. You can do like detective work on people. And I this is a bad asteroid, I can't believe I'm admitting this. I type in her name and I'm like, come on, please, please tell me if I find her, please tell me she is fat and ugly and broke. Like, please, God, please, and sure enough, sure enough, I find her, and she is stunning, gorgeous, fit, and rich, and she married some hockey man hockey team manager living her best life. I'm like, come on. My husband, I said, Hey, I'd finally closed the loop on Callison Grace. I found her and I told her, told him, and he's like, Did you? Did you close the loop? Because that sounds like you just opened a whole can of like now you're going on a whole nother tangent. But anyway, so I don't know, as you're listening, if you ever have had someone that really, you know, hurt your feelings and broke your heart when you were young, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know, do a deep dive on them and hopefully they're not living their best life. You don't be mean to people, and now I'm admitting how mean I am.

SPEAKER_07 54:14

So so may so maybe maybe that's where the joke starts.

SPEAKER_04 54:19

Yeah, yeah, the joke's on move, right? But I I will tell you this. Here's the silver lining. You when you have something like that happen, if you've ever had any kind of bad memory from your childhood, and my bad memory was showing up and it wasn't the right date. So let me tell you, if over the last 35, 40 years, I have never gotten a date wrong. Like I'm always checking and checking again and like rechecking the invite, like I don't want to show up on the wrong date.

SPEAKER_07 54:48

Wow, no, Jenny, that that was very funny, by the way. That was some rich stuff. That was that was some rich stuff. Okay, so speaking of missing a date, what is the kindest thing someone ever done for you that you can remember?

SPEAKER_04 55:04

I want you guys that on another episode, and I love that question. And I actually think that it's such a little thing, and it's something that a lot of people do, and it's just if you see something, say something. And I know that's usually meaning it with a different meaning, right? If you see something, say something. But when I when I mean it, what I mean by this is have you ever had someone just a stranger compliment you? Like, oh my gosh, you got a great smile, Asher, or wow, I really like your cat. And I have noticed that when people like I have these sparkly shoes, and when somebody says, Oh, I love your sparkly shoes, or they give you a compliment, it is just like it's amazing what a little compliment, whether the person is a stranger or somebody you know, like that can make your day. And and so I feel like so many people, I so now I kind of try to remember that. Like, you know how sometimes you'll see someone, you'll go, oh gosh, they have such beautiful hair. And my daughter's like, well, go tell her. I'm like, well, I don't want to, she's like, go tell her. And it's amazing when you see some stranger out at lunch and you notice something, you like their wedding ring or you like their hair or their smile, just say it. I mean, you might think you seem weird going up to them, but people, it's like a compliment can just mean the world to people. And I don't think we we think it in our head, but we don't always say it.

SPEAKER_07 56:33

I agree. The simplest things go a long way. Well, we're gonna wrap up. I gotta rapid fire things on my list here. Get your thoughts on. Number one is a TV show or film you'll find yourself returning to lately.

SPEAKER_01 56:47

That I'm tuning into lately.

SPEAKER_07 56:49

Returning, returning to you'll find yourself returning to TV show or film.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

Returning to oh, The Office.

SPEAKER_07 56:58

That's a funny show, too.

SPEAKER_04 56:59

That one, Seinfeld, Friends, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 57:03

Three books you would recommend to a friend right now.

SPEAKER_04 57:06

Okay, just in the middle of the universe has your back. That's a great one, and Gabby Bernstein, and there's a chapter in there if this is helpful for helpful for you, and it is obstacles are detours in the right direction, or obstacles are detours to the right path. I thought that was so good. And you know what else she says in that book? She says, the universe works fast when you're having fun, and that jumped out at me. And she talks a lot about when you're like in a high vibe and and you're doing what you enjoy and you're helping people, man, that universe is gonna like just keep working in your favor. But when you're in like, you know, you've had a bad day and you're in that low vibe. We notice that when you're in that bad place, it's just like more bad things happen. So I thought that was pretty cool. Universe has your back. There's that funny Kevin Hart book, hilarious. And I mean, everyone's talking about Let Them, but I thought that was a great book by Mel Robbins. The Let Common. Yeah, Mel Robbins.

SPEAKER_07 58:20

I'm not sure if I read that one. I read a few of them.

SPEAKER_04 58:22

Well, I know you yeah, you've read a lot of good books. Have you read the book What Your Dog Thinks of Your Small Salary?

SPEAKER_05 58:30

No.

SPEAKER_04 58:34

Okay, it's titled Um How Your Controlling Personality Affects Your Genitals. Have you read that one?

SPEAKER_07 58:46

Those are humor books. I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait, I was like, are those real books or they're they're no, no, I'm just yesing you great laugh.

SPEAKER_04 59:01

You've got Asher. You got or if you're coming in and you're watching Asher, you can see he's got a great laugh and a great smile.

SPEAKER_07 59:10

All right, here we go. Another one, uh, a product or tools you've been using, that's been a game changer.

SPEAKER_04 59:16

I mean chat TPT, of course. And I just recently bought a choking device from my family. And you know, you're like you if you're on Instagram and you see if you've seen this choking device video, it's a and then of course all you get on your algorithm is like choking device, choking devices. Choking, excuse me, choking not devices, choking prevention devices is what I'm like. Choking devices. And it's the thing that you if you're eating, they say all the experts say, if you eat by yourself, uh you're like 79% chance of dying from getting food stuck in your throat because no one's there to do the Heimlich maneuver. So I've bought this contraption and I got one for like my whole family. Everyone's getting it for Christmas, and it's uh I hope it works. Uh you said, does it change your life? I I I'm hoping it works. So all right.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:26

Next one, a community you've been finding real value in.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:30

Well, our my dad's group at which you're part of, I I love that group, and there's a lot of sharing and encouraging and also Toastmasters, Toastmasters International. If you're listening and you don't know what that is, check it out. There's not all clubs are the same, you gotta visit different ones, but it's a great place to meet supportive people and become an even better speaker and become an even better leader. And I'm it it's a great work. I know you're part of Toastmasters, or you were, right? Right, Asher.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:05

I am, I am. Actually, I'm I'm currently I'm club president this year. My second time trying it out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:11

Nice. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:13

And last one, your Mount Rushmore, three to five people who have been most influential in your life, they cannot be your family members.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:24

I'm gonna just go with one, and it's it's an odd one, and that is a woman I met a couple of years ago. I don't even remember her name, but she was holding this business event, and she was boast bragging that she was so successful, right? And her business was booming, and she was very braggadocious about it, right? And I remember, and I'll never forget this, I was looking at her, and I know this sounds again very awful. I was just saying you need to be kind to people, but this woman looked like she hadn't slept in a year. She was so haggard, right? She her eyes were slits, she was like, again, I know this is very rude, but I'm just I'm just sharing this experience. She was very, very overweight and she looked terrible. And she was saying how successful she was. And I at that moment I realized, you know, I don't want to be like, like, that is such a bad example of successful when you are running yourself ragged. Like that is not attractive. And so I I realized at that point, like, I want to follow people that look healthy, they have good family relationships, and they're professionally sex successful. But like, what you know, you can learn a lot from people what to do and what not to do. And that was a great example of what not to be like.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:54

What I've noticed so far, and I think I think certain people figure this out. I think maybe this is the reason why you you pick up on things, because I mean your dad your dad says a lot, like find what people do and do the other the what they're not doing, but it's it's I think I call it the inversion of life. Like if you find a way to start looking at the other thing that most people don't look at, is shape thing. When you talk about that, that lady, you her example was we would probably you would think about somebody that a positive impact, but you're like, no, this person showed me an example, I never forgot it. And I start recognizing these patterns in different things, like seeing things that people might might not notice, but but the negative thing that that is positive, but you just gotta invert it. And you can pick it up, and I'm I'm noticing that about how you look at the world. I'm like, ah, because see why you pick up on jokes and humor, because you have to find a way to invert the obvious.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:43

Yeah. So if you are wondering, like who would be three to five people that made the biggest impact on you, and you can't say family, of course, then and it, you know, but but really like there's some line, there's some quote, like people are either an example of what to do. People are either an example or a warning. And she was a warning of like, don't ever trade health because you lose your health, you got nothing, right? So, yeah, exactly. Look for, you know, if you feel like, well, I don't have any role models. Well, look for people that are not role models and think, what are they doing? I want to make sure I don't do that.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:22

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:28

I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:29

I think I think I heard somebody says, um, let me, I think it was uh Jim Rohn. I think maybe it was him. It was it was maybe it was him, but he was saying, I want to sit down with this person, I want to tell me, tell me all the things that you did that ruin your life so I don't have to do it, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:43

Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:47

All right, Jen. This was a this was an awesome conversation. Thank you so much for your for the generous use of your time. And if you had to share your biggest takeaway from this entire conversation, I would love to hear what that is.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:58

Well, I want to thank you for asking, and you're very insightful. And sometimes, you know, this is a great example of maybe as you're listening, ask somebody in your life some questions. Asher asked some really interesting questions. And sometimes asking people questions helps them learn and solve problems that they didn't even realize they had. And uh, so I want to thank you, Asher, for you you had a you have a very unique podcast, right? You're asking, like, what does this quote mean to you? And and not just, you know, how did you get started?

SPEAKER_07 1:05:36

Well, thank you, Jen. And uh hang tight with that, folks. Make it an utterly, utterly fantastic day.